Virtues Cards is the app for staying positive in 2020

The COVID19- pandemic has left a lot of students, workers and people across the world cooped up at home stuck in Zoom meeting after Zoom meeting and struggling to stay positive and keep themselves in a good mental state. And it looks like the current state of things is gonna continue for several months to come. So nowwhat? Today's guest is award winning Edgecator Dara Feldman, whose team is created an app called Virtues Cards that can help parents, teachers and team leads deal with the challenges of this pandemic era. Were more all definitely in need of calling on the Angels of our better nature to get through each day. So Dara, for those who aren't familiar with Virtues Cards tell us a little bit about what this app does. Hi, thank you what a joy to be with you. So the Virtues Cards, it's part of the virtues project that's been around for 30 years. Five strategies for bringing out the best in ourselves and others and the cards are reminder of our inherent nobility and we used to have the physical card. Okay, this was a blown up version and generosity is one of my strengths virtues. So I'd say, Hey, Jason pick a card and then I'd say keep it and I wouldn't be playing with a full deck. Okay, that's as good as my jokes go. Anyways part of my past life. I was a technology specialist and when app started coming out in 2009, I thought we've gotta get these virtues to go viral. We need everybody to have the Virtues Cards in their hands so that they are reminded of their inherent nobility and that anytime when they're feeling overwhelmed or needed to be uplifted, they could just shake their phone and in the palm of their hand have a reminder of who they really are. So many people are in need of this. Parents, teachers, team leaders, all kinds of people. So could you sum up the five strategies of the virtues project. All right, the five strategies, let me just put it in context. The Virtues project started about 31 years ago when the founders who are a husband and wife, team of therapists and Ducha DanPopov, Linda Kavelin, Popov, and, Linda's younger brother who was a Disney Imagineer, John Kavelin. And so they were talking about how tragic it is that kids were killing each other and themselves. And they thought somebody ought to do something. So they did a lot of research and they found from a Harvard study that the number one reason that youth ages 14 to 25 gave for randomly committing acts of murder was boredom. An I don't mean the boredom that your listeners might be feeling right now listening to me, go on and on, but a lack of meaning and purpose. And if we fast forward to COVID on the age of technology, I think that it's even more of a need, right? It is a spiritual sickness, actually, right? Is not religion, and so what the founders did was they researched all of the cultures, oral traditions and sacred texts of the world. And what they found that was common to all of us, where the virtues. So they thought were all born with these in potential, how can we awaken and strengthen them in our kids? And they came up with five strategies, and here they are. The first one is speaking the language. So instead of saying good job or how many times have I told you to clean up your room? It's hey, I see your determination working through that hard problem without giving up or a virtues, guidance and correction. Please be orderly and put your dirty clothes in the hamper and close your closet door. It should that vibration is just such a higher vibration and people can feel, see and it's also got the success criteria of what we want people to do. The second strategy is recognizing teachable moments. So instead of shaming or blaming when somethings gone awry, it's looking to see what the virtue was that was missing. And I wanna invite us to do a little activity. So Jason, do you know anybody who stubborn? No names please? [LAUGH] Yeah. Okay, so let's just say you're so stubborn three times an notice where you feel that in your body, are you ready? All right, ready. [CROSSTALK] Where did you feel that in your body. Kinda like up here, maybe like collarbone, chest area, upper chest. How did you feel? Yeah, like a lot of carrying some weight up there. Absolutely can now we're gonna rewind and this time, Use the virtue of stubbornness, which is actually determination. So now let's say you're so determined. Think that same stubborn person. Well, let's say you're so determined 3 times and notice where you feel it. I'll let you sit on your own, though. You're so determined, you're so determined, you're so determined. Interesting, yeah, like a little deeper, more like down sternum. Sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting heart space, right? And it just feels so much more open and connected, so that's the second strategy. The third strategy is setting clear boundaries based on restorative justice. And so it's those virtues based boundaries. And then we go through as a family. We might pick 4 or 5 virtues that we wanna be about or business could do that as well. And we talk about what those virtues look like in our home or. In our business or in our community. Because even though virtues are universal positive qualities of character, they might look a little bit different depending on the culture of the family. When I do a workshop in Japan, I don't wear my shoes, right at park, my shoes outside, but when I do, lets a workshop in Washington DC. If I showed up in bare feet, I probably get kicked out, right? So third strategy, setting clear boundaries. Forth strategy is honoring the spirit. It's whatever brings you joy, meaning and purpose. It's those stories, those routines. It might even be having family dinner that's not in the minivan, but at least once a night around the dinner table. And it's absolutely doing the virtues. Pick every single day, because when we do a virtues pick, it not only reminds us who we are, but it helps to change our language and it becomes our lens. And then finally. Running, running, running the last strategy is the companion in process. He said that to my husband, by the way, not you, and it says seven step counseling techniques to lead somebody to their own solution. You don't give unsolicited advice, it shifts what's happening. There's a bunch of steps in the middle, but you just end it with the virtues acknowledgement. You know what honey? I really appreciate your courage. Telling me what's on your mind and that's it. Those are the five strategies. Thank you so much dear and I will say the virtues pick so my during Covid. My daughter and I are both vegan so we have lunch together which is like one of the wonders awesome. And so the cool thing is, during Covid we sit down and have lunch together everyday and we do a virtues pick. That's one of the things that we do and that's been such a great, great thing and it's one of the things that when this is over, I'm trying to think of like, okay, how can I keep the momentum on this as we go? Yeah, so J that my husband and I I'm the chief Enthusiasts Officer, CEO, an my husband is the chief. Everything else officer bless him and so we are starting. We are launching a share the love initiative and basically what you do is she download the virtues card app. It's free. It's a sample deck of 30 cards and then you look for the good in people and you can actually share, their share feature you can share to text social media. Yeah, now even just call him up and say, hey, I really see you are courage and the way that you are. Put your camera on on line even though you've not been in class, I met your classmates and then you can share the card and there's the front and the back. So what will do? The idealism card? And if we have time we should actually be this. So you double tap and then it turns it over and then at the top you just share it. But there's a third. Purple panel that invites people to pay it forward and share the love. So, I know that Covid has gone viral were gonna have my commitment really for 15 years. Talk about idealism is to have virtues to go viral so that humanity will be uplifted and you are giving me this opportunity. Be with you is really, really being helpful so thank you. Super grateful. It's awesome thanks dear. So in the app itself it comes with the sample cards. It's free to download, but there are four decks that you can buy for like a dollar to 2$. Is that right? And then there's five. OK, tell us about the five Dex. OK, so let's see if we can do. Can you see that kind of sort of in a way? Yeah, Yep cards, we have the reflection cards which are the mother ship there really beautiful. 100 cards and some of them have quotes, maybe from Oprah, Brian Tracy, Helen Keller and quotes from Sacred Traditions, not all of them. The character cards are from our partner, Share Tree, and they're very similar, almost identical to the reflection cards. But they had absolutely no quotes from any sacred traditions. So they're really great to use in public schools. And there are the family cards. Which have quotes from seven major world religions and that the meat of the cards are all the same. But there are cards from seven religions. And then we have a new deck, The Resilience Cards where the founders used to live in Aitutaki in the middle of the Cook Islands, for those of you who don't know where that is. And Dan would take pictures of sunsets every night and so there are these beautiful cards. Enthusiasm, so it just says enthusiasm, full of spirit. And when I double tap on the back, it's a little shorter phrase, like a bubbling spring, irresistible and life giving, enthusiasm brings joy to all we do. It uplifts every task and relationship. Caring passionately, we hold nothing back. Jason, does that resonate with you in any way? Yes, that reminds me of you. I honor your enthusiasm. You're doing amazing in sharing this with us. So thank you, so all of these, you can get a sample of all the decks and then if you want more each one you can, like I said, they're a dollar to $2 depending on the deck, to download the rest of them. You've just go to the shop and we've been very intentional because we do work all over the world. Normally, I'm flying all over the world, but actually Zoom I was in India earlier. But seriously, we wanted to make these cards accessible to everyone. And that's why the price point is what it is. And we also do workshops. And my book, actually, I want to say one more thing. So the Virtues Project was honored by the United Nations and it's endorsed by the Dalai Lama. When Linda, the founder of the Virtues Project, was on Oprah, Oprah said of the Family Guide, it's the instruction manual that our kids didn't come with. And I know those of you parents who are doing the home schooling right now because of COVID. I just wanna let you know it's really only 63 pages of information, and then the rest is a virtue of the week. However, you can download my book, which is really about the virtues project. The heart of education on our website virtuesmatter.com. Just scroll all the way down and you can download the PDF for free and the audio. But here's the thing, if you don't want to listen to me squeak for nine hours, you can slow it down and then it'll just take you 11 hours to listen to the whole book. So that's a resource about the Virtues Project. And my personal experience coming into it in my own healing because of my trauma and my upbringing, and then what it did for our family. Cuz my kids were 12 and 15 when I learned of this project. And now my daughter will be 30 and she uses it with her students. And my son works in the emergency department and he uses the strategies with his patients. It's really life changing. And some additional context on this idea speaking language of virtues, especially with kids, there are so many people that we know, parents, teachers at this time. And one of the things that you've talked about and the Virtues Project talks about is one of the keys to this and why it's so valuable is instead of saying good job. And having kids always looking for that external validation, right, needing that validation from somebody else. One of the things that makes this work is it's truly building their self-esteem for them understanding they have this inside of them, right? Whether it's courage or perseverance or thoughtfulness. When they realize, the way that this works is they realize that's part of me. I don't need external validation to tell me that, it's in here. It's part of what I'm about, right? So maybe you could just talk about. That's my very brief understanding of it. Maybe you could expand on it. Yeah, no again, good wisdom and discernment, that is actually true. So more praise begets more praise and we want more praise. But when we know we have all these virtues in us, in potential, if we just use the language, it helps to bring them out and strengthen them. We have all the virtues. So let me give you an example. If I say to somebody who Steam is really, really poor. Well, you know what you're so incredibly creative and they just feel like, no, without the evidence, that could cause cognitive dissonance and actually makes them feel worse. But if I say, what I really see your creativity in the way that you've brought color, light and sound together and mixed it up in a way that helps us to feel it. Then they're like, I do have that creativity, so it's really important to have the evidence. And this is, if all we do is change our language, which becomes changing our lens overtime. That's how we change the world, and so it's never too late for the virtues to work their magic. And I encourage everybody to really download the virtues cards. Whether you want the sample deck or the other decks and do the plan. And here's the plan. You not to new language. It's going to feel awkward maybe we need to practice, so the plan is an acronym. The P is pick daily, you can just shake an it goes random, love or you can also choose the one that you want. Then after you read it, you start looking for the good in ourselves and others then that a is an acknowledge and appreciate often as parents, as teachers, as business leaders were taught to do at least 5 to 1 positives. But in business, my goodness, no, in homes it's usually like 14 negatives to every positive. So this is gonna train us to look for the good acknowledge and appreciate often and then the end stands for the second strategy, the virtues project. Notice the teachable moments when we go off track not beating ourselves up. My goodness, I'm so stupid but perhaps I should be more mindful and remember to put my homework in my folder. Before going to bed, so I remember to turn it in. And that's the plan. Amazing Dara Feldman. I really appreciate your enthusiasm in sharing this valuable app with our audience. I know a lot of people are going to get a lot of use out of it. Encourage everybody. You also have a YouTube channel. Virtues matters on YouTube where people can go and they can read more or listen more about the 5 strategies. There's a video on each of the 5 strategies on there as well. And for teachers listening darafeldman.com is my teacher site. And it just got bunch of resources. Whatever you find, feel free to take share and just wish everybody much joy, meaning, purpose, peace, exquisite health always and in all ways. Jason's really been enjoying honor to be encircled with you. Thank you dear.