EMILY: Hey, I'm Emily Dreyfuss.
KARYNE: And Im Karyne Levy.
EMILY: Welcome the final episode of Rumor Has It that Ill be co-hosting!
Sad face.
KARYNE: But dont worry! The show will go on after Emily leaves. But for
today, were going to try to cram all the things Emily loves most about tech
rumors into one show.
EMILY: Yay, does that mean were only going to talk about about cable-
cutting innovations and youll sing all Apple rumors to the tune of Achy
Breaky Heart?
KARYNE: Um, no.
Remember: you can vote on all the rumors! Keep your eye out for the poll
in the interactive player, if you're watching on CNET.
EMILY: First up, an Apple rumor -- I promise I wont sing it, but only
because my grandmother told me I am tone deaf, so I wont torture you.
Seems like that iWatch is going to really happen! Even Apple analyst Gene
Munster thinks Apple should make an iWatch. The New York Times is
adding credence to the rumor, with the cool news is that the iWatch will
have curved glass.
Cornings new fleixble Willow Glass, that we saw at CES, could be the
mysterious curved glass in question.
KARYNE: I think you should buy this for me as a consolation for moving
away to Boston.
EMILY: Ill think about it. Then we can facetime from your wrist, like its the
future.
KARYNE: More Xbox 720 news! A source speaking to gaming site Kotaku
has reportedly obtained two Xbox 720 development kits, as well as system
overview documents, which detail the specs of Microsoft's next-gen
platform.
That source is the magical SuperDaE, who if you'll recall, also found leaked
documents about the next PS4 controller, and some Kinect 2.0
documentation a few months back. Who IS this guy? How does he have all
this stuff?
EMILY: According to supersleuth SuperDaE, an updated and improved
version of Kinect will ship with every Xbox; it will no longer be an optional
add-on. Gamers will need to have the new Kinect plugged in and calibrated
for the console to function at all, the source said.
KARYNE: I can see how this is a benefit for game developers -- if every
Xbox has a Kinect, every game can be developed with that technology in
mind. However, for people living in small apartments, this news is terrible.
If I started dancing around in front of a Kinect, I would knock over my
couch, coffee table, a cat, and would possibly fall out of a window. How is
that fun?
EMILY: Now before I leave the show forever, I want to use some of what Ive
learned from watching the tech rumor mill like a hawk lo these many years
to give you my TOP 5 PREDICTIONS FOR THE FUTURE OF TECHNOLOGY
FOREVER AND EVER!
No. 5. Apple will release a new iPhone. It will be a negligible improvement
over the last one. Then itll do it again.
No. 4 Samsung will also release a new phone that is negligibly better than
the S3, and also be pretty good. Itll have more features than the iPhone 6
but no one will care!
Whichever phone you like more -- iPhone or Samsung -- half the world will
think you're worse than Hitler and the other half will high-five you.
No. 3. People will finally revolt against the notion that laptops are dying and
tablets are taking over. Humans still use language to communicate, and
language is composed of letters which have to be TYPED UP in order to
form words, so we need keyboards, so we need computers, so there.
No. 2. Wearable tech, body monitoring tech, and our new-found obsession
with neuroscience and body chemistry will conflate into embedded gadgets
that tell us when to sleep, when to eat, when to get some sunshine, and
why we should listen to happier music. And they will be able to play the
happier music too. Boom.
And finally, No. 1. This is the technological advancement I want to happen
most and I believe in my heart that it will, though I will be wrinkled and gray
and too feeble-minded to enjoy it: But one day my grandchildren will
witness a revolution, the cable companies will release us from the shackles
of advertising and prebundled cable deals and let us pay for cable TV al la
carte. They will treat us like the adults we are. The studios will realize that
advertising is a broken model that has ruined print media and is coming for
TV and they will go where the New York Times bravely went before them, to
a subscription based model. And all will be right with the world.
KARYNE: Bravo.
KARYNE: What do you guys think? Will any of Emilys predictions come
true? Which ones do you think will come true? Don't forget to vote!
EMILY: Thats our show everyone.
KARYNE: WAIT! Why are you wearing a hot dog costume?
EMILY: Because I always secretly wanted to for a humiliation day and you
never made me so I decided to take matters into my own hands since I
probably got the PS4 release date so wrong and I wont be here when we
find out.
KARYNE: What a way to go out, Emily.
EMILY: And it is as a hot dog that I want to tell you, thank you for co-
parenting Rumor Has It with me. Now that I am moving away, you are going
to raise our child alone, and it will be hard, but if anyone can handle the
demands of a feisty, cranky, selfish, and sleep-deprived rumor mill, it is
you. Ill send you child support when I can. See you at the kids graduation!
KARYNE: And by child support, that means you'll still help write it, right?
EMILY: When times are flush.
KARYNE: Thats our show everyone, share your rumors at
rumorhasit@cnet.com or call us at 1-800-750-CNET. And tweet us!
EMILY: Love you!
