I have news.
While you've been caring about denuclearization on the Korean peninsula a nine year old Instagram celebrity named Little Tae has been screaming her way across the Internet like a possessed demigod sheep.
The world is broken.
But wait a minute.
Who is Little Tae?
Let me catch you up.
Lil Tay is the self-described youngest flexer of the century with an Insta feed full of Mercedes, Louis Vuitton, and cash money.
She's like totally nine years old old guys and she drives around in a Rari throwing hundreds like candy.
Remember when kids ate actual candy?
But she can't stay up until 2:00 AM screaming into the abyssal Insta-void on candy alone.
To make it as an influence in these days, you need to be jazzed up on go-go juice and hashtags, hurling F-bombs at the camera like Richie Rich on a three-day slushie bender.
But this is the era of the Internet star, it's Honey Boo-Boo meets Logan Paul in the suicide forest.
It's Tweetie Pie meets Beauty Pie.
It's a nine-year-old holding a [UNKNOWN] of the society and saying, [BLEEP] I'm wearing Gucci [BLEEP] This [UNKNOWN] where is the mom?
I don't wanna go question [UNKNOWN] but this is child [UNKNOWN] 101.
She's gonna be [UNKNOWN] by ten, addicted to [UNKNOWN] by the age of 12.
And enjoying the reality TV [UNKNOWN] teenager.
So sure what little [UNKNOWN] of a toilet [UNKNOWN] or once you come down from that [UNKNOWN] But remember, this is just a tired kid getting us unadulterated garbage like the mean monsters we are.
Someone get this kid a freaking adult.
I'm Claire Riley for CNET, and you can catch me outside, how about that?