Ep. 1434: Where we make room for meat

-Hey. What's up, everyone? It is Thursday. I almost got that wrong. I don't know where I am. It's Thursday, February 27th, 2014. It's The 404 Show on CNET. I'm Jeff Bakalar. -I'm Bridget Carey. -And I'm Justin Yu. -We've got Ariel Nuñez. Once again, dude, I don't know if you ever gonna have a mic again. What's that? We can't hear you. Sorry. I feel bad. -Just scream. -Communicate in Imojis. -Scream if you could hear me. Bridget Carey on the show today. Thank you for being here. -Good to be here. -It's been a while since the three of us have been on this show together. -Yeah. I don't think it-- -Last time she was on-- I think it was 2013 with the three of us. -That's right. -Yeah, man. It's been a while. Well, thanks for coming back. -It's good to be here. -How are you doing? Good? -Surviving, thriving, you know. -Yeah, surviving, thriving. -Actually, I also think that Bridget Carey, the last time when you were on the show you were not a married woman. -That's true. -And now you are. So, congratulations from the three of us. -Thank you. Thank you very much. -Way to do it. Way to take the plunge. -Yeah. -It's not easy. -Yeah, it is. -No, you're right. It is. -If you're in love. -Tax breaks. -You're right. It is. So, we got a great show planned for everyone today. You wanna take us to a quick little tease of what we got coming? -Yeah. Well, in honor of Bridget being back, we can't help but have a couple of gross stories-- -Oh, goody. I was looking forward to it. -Yeah. We know how much you love that. But also we're gonna talk about food, which has become sort of tradition with you on the show. -Oh, that's-- oh, yeah. Always talk about food. -Excellent. Excellent. -Yeah, so we're gonna talk about some funny meat products. We're gonna talk about an IBM Watson computer being used to make new recipes. -Beautiful. -We're gonna talk about a machine that can translate your dog's thoughts into the English language. -Perfect. -And not just English, other languages too. -Like on the movie Up. -I was waiting for that. -Yeah, exactly, pretty much. -Marvelous. -And then we're gonna finish up with a strange trend of men getting beard transplants. -Okay. -No. -You don't need that but for-- -No. -me and-- actually, just me. Ariel, you don't need that either. -Yes. -So, this is just a story where I'll be talking to myself. -Yeah. -And Bridget. -Are you gonna get a beard transplant? -Maybe. -All right. Fair enough. Real quick before we get going on the first story fo the day. Do yourself a favor, go back and listen to yesterday's show where we had Dr. Josh King on, who's an addiction specialist. It was heady, man. It was heady but it was good. It was a lot of information, helpful information -Yeah. -about people with addictions. -My favorite part was when he was like, we need to make sure that we get the nomenclature for addiction settled and -Right. -everyone is using that right terminology and then you follow it up by saying, I'm addicted to chocolate. -Right. But I am. -Yeah. I think you are-- I'm the one drinking a hot chocolate right now. -I-- -You could be addicted to sugar. I mean that happens. -You can be. I mean-- -I mean, it happens over time. -Yeah. -There was a lot to talk with like what's habitual and what's addictive and whatnot. -Right. -The vernacular is a little cloudy and dicey but-- -We speak in extremes. It's the worst. I'm so addicted. I hate you. -Right, right. -Doctors hate that. -Yeah. -Doctors hate that because everything with him has to be like literal and almost like-- almost binary in a sense. But anyway, it's super interesting. We tried to get through as many questions, as many calls for help as we could. So, if you didn't get to have your answer or situation addressed, send us an e-mail again, the404@cnet.com and we'll forward them along to Josh and you know, he's on the hook like we're, you know, we've got like a good rate with him, so we're gonna take advantage of that. -He was also saying that, you know, if we got a couple of questions that he wasn't able to answer on yesterday's show, then he would maybe create a separate page on the website at the center for motivation and change to answer those questions specifically from 404 listeners. That's on top of offering to come back and answering more at a later date. So, you can follow them on Twitter. I think it's _CMC. -_theCMC. -The CMC. And hopefully they'll update that with some more information but watch for him on a future episode because that was great. -Yeah, it's gonna happen for sure. All right, let's get right into it. -Yeah, okay. -Lead us the way. -All right. So, we're gonna start with the grossest story and then work our way back from there. -All right. -I think that's-- -So, let's take a deep dive. -No where to go but up. -Yeah, exactly. So, we do talk about a lot of weird stuff on this show but I save this story for you, Bridget because it's pretty bad. -Okay. -Are you ready? -Okay. -Check out this website. It's at BiteLabs.org. You can go to it right now and follow along from the-- sort of from the front page it looks like your typical artisanal charcuterie website, sort of at first glance, because no one charcuterie means right. -Electrocution of sharks? -Close, very close. -Charcuterie. Charcuterie. S-A-- now, I have no idea, man. -Charcuterie, with CH in the beginning. I've never heard of it before but if you're into making your own sausages, you probably know what it is. It's just a place where you can get cured meat. -A butcher. -A butcher. It's like a-- like a famous butcher. -Yeah, exactly. -I link my own sausages. -But if you go to BiteLabs.org and look a little bit further into it, it's really not because you're gonna see advertisements for salamis and other cured meats named after popular celebrities like James Franco, the Kanye West, the Ellen DeGeneres and the Jennifer Lawrence which is the most popular. -I love that salami. -That's fine. You can name a salami whatever you want. You can call it the Jeff Bakalar, the Bridget Carey. -The Bakalar. -Until you realize that BiteLabs is actually making artisanal salami out of tissue samples collected from the celebrities that I just listed. -Cool. -I don't believe it. -You don't believe it? -How could they get the-- with like the paparazzi is also like trying to get up on them and like-- -They're also scraping skin cells off of them. -and taking hair follicles. -Yeah. -No, this is gross. Go on. -This is very disgusting. -Hold on. I need a swab. -Yeah. -Uh-hmm. I'm gonna throw up everywhere. -Don't lie, Bridget. You'd eat some Ryan Gosling salami. Wouldn't you? -I think I might take a bite out of that. -And cut. -That's gonna do it for us today. -This is how they make the protein and it's sort of it doesn't really go into a lot of detail and the reporting on this isn't very thorough because the founders aren't exactly revealing their secrets behind how it's made. But they basically said a grabbed tissue samples from celebrities, don't tell us how they do that. They isolate the muscle cells using "proprietary bioreactors." -Gross, gross. -Yeah, yeah. You wanna eat that, right? -And then they age the meat into a fine product. -They age the meat. -Yeah. So, you can buy all kinds of stuff and each sort of thing of salami is, you know, it taste like what you would-- -Oh, they probably blend it with other things. -I think the celebrity feet. -It can just be like petri dish meat. -Right, right. So, it's like 60 percent animal meat, 40 percent James Franco, if you decide to go with that one. -What kind of meat would that be? -No. You know, there-- -Meat that doesn't give a shit. -Smokey, probably for James Franco. -Meat that's just like happy to be there. -Yeah, yeah. -Lethargic. -Thick. -Jennifer Lawrence meat put that in my mouth. -Yeah. So, Jennifer Lawrence meat apparently has a confident flavor profile, a little bit of zest and ginger because she has red hair. -And mature beyond her years. -Yeah, exactly. The Kanye West, what you do think? -Kanye West meat just spits you and calls you a loser. -Yeah, yeah. But it's also the number one most popular meat on the website for some reason. -Meat that thinks it's just better than you. -Self-proclaimed most delicious meat in the world. -People eat it for some reason and they don't know why they like it. -It's heavy, it's boldly flavored, it's also blended with rich, coarse-ground pork. Something strangely like-- -It's just the rudest meat on earth. -And you know he's probably ordered his own meat. -Yeah. Oh, definitely. Definitely. -Yeah. -So, you can actually tweet these guys, BiteLabs at eat celebrity meat with that hash tag and you can suggest your own celebrities if you wanna taste them or you can pre-order them I believe through the website. -I got a question for you. -Is this BS? Probably. -Where do you find this? Like where-- -Website called DontWorryAboutIt.com. -Like where-- and then you see this and you're like this is 404 stuff. -Yeah. This is totally something that I think people need to know and hear about. -You're like-- -Look here, if you go to eatcelebritymeat.tumblr.com, they actually show you the process of how they make the meat. -Oh, that's gross. -So, this is the Kanye West being sort of pushed through a meat grinder. -And then someone interrupts that butcher. -Yeah. -And starts making his own meat -Right. And saying his is better. -Right. -I'm wondering what the skin that, you know, traditionally it's made out of like animal lard, right? The sausage skin. -I don't know. You're the [unk] in the room. -[unk]. -[unk]. -The [unk]. -The chicaca. -Chicaca. Chicago. So, I don't know, just to debunk this because Bridget of course, you're right. I'm pretty sure it's BS. If you look on the page for BiteLabs, the main headline, it shows a photo of some meat and you-- I did some research. -Uh-hmm. -I reverse-imaged that picture and it's from another website. It's from-- this is the picture that they got the main photo from. It's for a restaurant called King Rustic, which I'm sure will be throwing them a copyright infringement pretty soon. -So, why are you telling-- Well, how do you know King Rustic didn't steal it from Celebrity Meat people? -The plot thickens. -Yes, it does, my friend. -Yeah. This is not a new concept, though. ManBeef.com was around last year and it was the place where you could order human-- -But don't go to ManBeef.org. -No, oh, no, no, no. -Whatever you do. I mean, look, it's your prerogative. I'm just saying. -Right. -You're gonna get a way different thing. -Yeah. What about .gov? Do you think that's something entirely different? -That's a department that we don't talk about. -Yeah. -All right. Well, thanks for that, you weirdo. -Yeah. -I'm actually kind of hungry. -You're starving. -Now you're hungry, yeah? -But I would-- I mean, someone who seeks this out. We're too-- -If they give me a sample I'd have it. -Right. -I would-- -Yeah, I guess I would try like-- -because I don't believe it's real and if it was-- I just-- -But I mean, if you saw this story next to the Soylent story, you wouldn't really know which one is real or fake, right? -Right. -They both sort of exist in that same ridiculous world. -Right. Although, let it be known I would most certainly try out a [unk] meat for sure. -No, if only it'd be a lot tastier than Soylent tea. -It would just be very voluptuous. -Uh-hmm favorite. -Man. I'm sorry, anyway, what else we got here, sir? -All right. Let's talk about something a little bit more hygienic and will still make you hungry. -Cool. -So, you remember the IBM Watson computer, right? It's the one that destroyed all those meat puppets on jeopardy. -Uh-hmm. -What? Humans, right? -Yeah, okay. -They've destroyed everybody on that show. Killed it. Well, now Watson is being put to works as a line chef, which I think is pretty cool, right? Computers have been done and used for a lot of things but prepare food, sort of a new area for them. So, last year, Watson was actually tested, the Institute of Culinary Education, that's in Manhattan here in the city, to see if it could sort of put together recipes that were a little bit different and a more creative than what your traditional human chef would come up with. -So, he's changing the order of combinations. -Yeah. -That you know, because it is a massive processor, could probably put together, this probably taste good with this but you might not think of the past-- -Yeah. Yeah exactly. Are you [unk] food? -No, I just like food. -Yeah. Like I love food. [unk] meal starving. So, they basically inputted 20,000 recipes into Watson's brain and then it kind of-- they left it up to computer to sort of figure out what it could come up with and here's a couple of things that it came up with and it's kind of cool because after creating these recipes, they're actually taking them out on the road for human testing to eat through this truck. -Man, it's all part of Watson's plan. -Yeah. -It's all made of human. -You see, you see. You wait and see. -So, Watson's in Las Vegas right now but then afterwards it's driving this truck over to South by Southwest in Austin. So, if you're gonna head over there for the interacting portion, you can try some of Watson's recipe. -Watson's gonna drive it over. -Yeah. -Yeah, right. So, here's some of the ingredients and flavors you're gonna find. -Yeah, I'm curious to hear what it came up with. -Shay Watson includes-- -Is it a guy or a girl? -I don't know. I didn't look at any-- -I mean Watson is like-- no one's looked under the motherboard? -Yeah. -Watson sounds like a dude. -It's a dude. -You want it to be a dude or do you want it like, what do you-- I feel like you can like assign a gender to it for yourself. -Somehow a female robot cooking meals does not seem like something we need to have in this century. -Sure. -So, I don't know. I'm gonna say it's a man. -It isn't like a little skirt or-- -Yeah, yeah. -All right. Watson is a dude. Watson is a dude. That was Rosie. -Rosie, right, right. -They treated her like trash. Anyway, keep going. -We already have enough women with Siri and whatnot. -Right, that's true. -Watson could be the dude. -Watson is a dude. -Right. -Yeah. -So, here's what we got going on the menu that Watson came up with. Creole Shrimp-Lamb Dumpling. That's okay. -Uh-hmm. -Baltic Apple Pie. I don't know-- -Baltic? What does that mean? -What's in a baltic? -Why is it-- what makes it baltic? -I have no idea. -Does anyone know baltic? -No. -Isn't that like a sea? -And Balto dog? -Isn't it a body of water? -A dog? -I was thinking Balto. -This one is crazy. Austrian Chocolate Burrito. Austrian Chocolate Burrito. Chocolate burritos, I've never seen it before. I'm from San Francisco. Haven't seen chocolate burrito. -Not sure-- -Well, that's just like making a dessert in a burrito shape perhaps. -Uh-hmm. -It's like a crate, it's like a crate. -I need more ingredients. -Yeah, Watson has-- first of all, why are we trusting a robot with taste buds? -First of all, it's a robit. -Yeah, I just don't understand, like what-- yeah. Okay, chocolate burrito. Good smooth move, Watson, you dummy. -What? -Could solve all the world's problems in 5 milliseconds. -Choco taco. He just took it up a notch. -But he doesn't even know how to like put together culinary delights. -This stuff looks pretty good though. -I say we pull the plug on Watson. -Well, I told you that he's rechargeable. Check out his Turkish Bruschetta that-- -Bruschetta? -It's pronounced Bruschetta. -No, it's not. -Yeah, it is. But here it is. It looks pretty good, right? Would you put that in your body? -I mean, I'd take a bite of it. I-- you know what? I'd sniff it for sure. -Yeah. -I don't know if I like put it in my mouth. -It's prepared with by chefs, I'll eat it. -Yeah. So, okay, that's a good point. -It's not-- yeah, yeah. It's not like the robots going I mix this and-- just imagine, it's like horrible-- -Juice isn't going everywhere. -It's like a blender hand. -Yeah. -Yeah. -I could see that. -Nice. -What's really cool and I never thought that IBM.com would have a bunch of recipes but if you go to their Cognitive Cooking site, you can sort of check out all the recipes and make it yourself. -Right. -Which I think is kind of cool. -Of all the things that this massive computing power can be used for to save the world, I'm so glad he's inventing new concoctions to eat. -Right. Bridget [unk] diseases out there right. -Super helpful. Yeah. Thanks, Watson. -Everyone needs a hobby. He's too busy saving other things. Medical reasons, -Uh-hmm. -traffic issues, food. -So, so, so let me just like sum up the applications we've been using Watson for. -Right. -Beat people on jeopardy. -Right. -Make up food that nobody cares about or once. -Learning new cuss words. -Learning new cuss words. -Yeah. -Where's the cancer thing? -Yeah. -Like to have him solve that. -What about-- -You know, we're not like, you know, in desperate need of like-- -That's what I'm saying. -Competitive contestants on jeopardy. -Yeah. -I think we all eat enough this country. -Right. -Let's cure disease. -I think it's also. -Watson in the hospitals. -It's also funny because if you ever talk to like someone who calls himself a foodie, -Uh-hmm. -it's never really about the food itself. It's always about who cook the food, right? It's like industry of celebrity chefs. -Yeah. -It's all bragging. -It's all name dropping but then, you know, this Watson thing comes in and cook something better than any chef in the world can make. I think it's pretty cool that we sort of leaning on technology for this now. -Yeah, I don't know. I have very strong opinions about celebrity chefs that I will keep to myself at this moment in time. -Okay. -And that is all. -Is that because you watch a lot of reality food chefs? -No. -Okay. -I'm just-- -I guess we're gonna leave it at that. -I mean, you know-- -It's a recent phenomenon really. -For sure. -It's a branding thing really. -It is, you're right. I just-- I don't know, some of them are like too-- they're too-- they're like more of a character than they are a chef. -Right. -And that pisses me off. -Like, I wouldn't wanna eat a cake from the Cake Boss because it's just all about the person and like-- I don't know. Yeah, I'm kind of with you. -I just-- for me it's like all right, you know, you cook stuff, that's cool. -Yeah. -You know, like I could get lucky and maybe do something like that too. -Uh-hmm. You know. -I bet you could probably go in a cruise ship for the amount of money that you'll pay on one of the celebrity chef's restaurants. -Well, it's like wine. -But actually it's a good food on your honeymoon. -Right, it's like wine. -Uh-hmm. -Like the-- what do you call a wine? You call them a winey? -Like a person that drinks a lot of wine-- wino. -A wino? -Yeah. -Isn't that more of like-- -Wino is negative. -Yeah, it's negative. -Wino is associated with other things too. -Like out of a box, he's a wino. -But anyway, so a wine aficionado we'll say for-- -Yes. -Yeah. -for all intense purposes. Right? So, like I can give you ten glasses of wine and I know you don't drink but if you did drink and you would pick out three that you absolutely love and then one of them would be like $1.99. -And everyone is different too. Right. -For sure. -Yeah, like exactly I find a lot of cheap wines that are great. -Really good. -Yeah. -So-- -It's also-- I think it's like the law of diminishing returns for that kind of stuff. -Yeah. -Like it's like the same thing with coffee. -Of course. -You know, like yes, you could tell the difference between 7-Eleven coffee and Dunkin Donuts coffee versus like a Blue Bottle Coffee. -Sure. -But from there, you're not gonna tell the difference between Blue Bottle and other like artisanal coffee. -Right, coffee that was, you know, gathered on the top of some Colombian mountain. -Right, like squeeze through [unk]. -I'm a little guilty of fancy teas. Like if you're going to Teavana, it's now owned by Starbucks. -I mean everyone starts their thing. -And I actually buy this thing called Monkey Picked Tea. -I'm-- Bridget, are you-- is this Blood Monkey Tea? -It's like-- -Our monkey is being like whipped to pick tea. -They say it's an ancient saying that like-- that the tea was so high on the mountain that only monkeys could bring it down and nowadays they don't do that. -And they train the monkeys? -Yeah and they used to train the monkeys to go that high. -Correct me if I'm wrong. Correct me if I'm wrong. -This is fancy green tea, folks, like $20 for like this. -Green tea is pretty good. -It is. -I'm pretty sure if this was the plot to Congo 2. -Right and seven. -But they just-- it got scrapped midway through pre-production. -Had great dreams after drinking Monkey Picked Tea than they just-- it's worth it. -Hey, that's Hollywood. That's Hollywood for you. [unk] Amy pick tea. -Let me try some of that tea. I want that. -I will. I'll bring it in. -Yeah. I wanna see what the blood of monkeys does like. Congo 2. -Congo 2. -There's a sequel. -[unk] sesame cake. -Yeah. Excellent. -Oh, man. -All right. Well, thanks for that. That was a very entertaining story, buddy. -Uh-hmm. -It gets-- it only gets better from here, so let's keep going. -Yeah, this is kind of ridiculous show. -I love it. -You don't have an animal, do you? You don't have a dog or a pet. -Not right now, no. I used to. -No? -She's tired. -Are you and husband thinking about that? -Yeah. -That's sort of the next step. Are you supposed to get married first then get a dog? Or get a dog first then get married? -I'm not sure there are rules to the order. -No. -No? There's no order for that? -No. -Okay. -You are supposed get-- well, no, there's no rules for anything. -Yeah. -You can do anything. -Okay. You could do whatever you want. -You can. -But you have a dog, Jeff. -I do. -Yeah, little Marty. -Little Marty. -Although he's not so little anymore. -He's like five almost. -Yeah. -You know, he's 30 pounds. He's getting a little fat because we keep feeding him like awesome stuff. -You feel like you guys have a good line of communication between you and Marty? -Oh, yeah. -Like you guys can sort of figure out how each other-- -It took like a year but now we know exactly what he wants and he knows what we want because body-- dogs can read body language. -Uh-hmm. -And I read a lot about like human beings can read-- like dogs make faces. -Uh-hmm. -Like they have body language too and you can really-- their ears are very telling. What their ears are doing, what the tail is doing, -Oh, oh, right. -it's all very telling. They don't shrug like I oh, no, -Right. -but they make you know, movements with their ears and tails. They're much better than cats. -It's amazing. Yeah, I agree. -They're just better than cats. Yeah. -Have you seen that documentary dogs decoded? -Yeah, it's on Netflix. -Sure. -One thing I learned from that documentary, it was so cool, is that dogs can tell how other dogs are feeling -Yeah. -emotionally by the way their tails are wagging. -Sure. -Right or left. It's really crazy. -A dog-- dog's are basically the closest thing-- I think dogs and dolphins are like the closest things we have to like superhuman -Right. -or super natural like animals. They-- a dog can tell just by smelling the urine of another dog because that's all they do. -Yeah. -It just go around and like pee battle. -Right. -They can tell the breathe of sex. -Yeah. -The breathe of sex where it's been, -Uh-hmm. -if it's like menstruating, if it's pregnant, they can tell all of that. -Right. -It's all programmed in there. I think it's amazing. -Dog and dogs know-- what's up? Yeah, it evolved it them. -Yeah. -Dogs know that they know you're-- the gate which you walk, -Right. -they know your heartbeat, they know the engine that the sound of the engine in your car. -Yeah, dogs will know if you're trying to replace another dog with them. Like if one of your dogs past away and you got another dog, -Sure. -they can sense that emotion. -My dog always used to know when we're going to the doctor before we even got them in its little crate. -Yup. -Yeah. -Because it knows that you're anticipating it being nervous. -Right. -Yeah. -Like my-- before we even start to pack to go away, like obviously the suitcases that giveaway, -Yeah. -but as we're like getting ready to pack, he starts to freak out and just like lays in front of the door, -Yeah. -and he's like over my dead body. -Yeah. -And then we gotta kill him. -Oh. My friend's Shih Tzu hates when he leaves the apartment. -Yeah. -So, whenever I go over there and we wanna go out to dinner and we wanna leave, -Yeah. -we have to pretend like we're not leaving. -And then jump at the window. -He actually makes me say, oh, hey, we're just gonna like step outside for a second, we're not going anywhere. -Right, yeah. -I'm just gonna go out to your trash chute. -They're super smart. -And it will just never come back, which seems a little bit more cruel to me because you're sort of tricking the dog. -Exactly but whatever, at the end of the day it is a dog. I mean, we-- they've been living with us for thousands of years. -Right. -And you know, man's best friend, dude. -Yeah. Where you about to maybe get a little bit more inside into what your dog is thinking, I'm sort of skeptical about this technology but a Scandinavian research lab called the Nordic Society for invention and discovery, they're working on a product called No More Woof. And basically, it's a headpiece that's connected to a Raspberry Pi Super Computer. -Oh, my God. -And it has a bunch of EG sensors and it just sort of measure brain frequencies and it's all connected to this head piece you put on your dog, right? -I'm sure they love that. -Yeah, exactly. -Nothing dogs like more than wearing headpieces. -Right. -And here's what it looks like. -Oh, he looks so sad. -It's poor little guy. -Please take this off me. -And the point is that, you know, eventually, the Raspberry Pi micro computer in it can recognize these though patterns and there's actually a speaker on this side. It looks like an old school telephone with a tube coming out of it to sort of, then translate into vocalizations and do a number of languages too. English, Mandarin, German, French. Those are just the languages that are out now but of course, you know, the biggest detail is they're not revealing how they're gonna basically attach the sensor to the dog's brain because it's not enough to just have it sitting on your head. You have to have it somehow implanted into your brain, which is why I think not a lot of dogs are gonna wanna attach themselves to this. -Yeah and this is necessary, I mean-- -Nevertheless it's on Indiegogo, so you can support it right now, not they need it because they wanted $10,000. They're up to $22,600-- -We just need 10 grand to drill a whole in this dog's head. -Yeah, that's how many pet owners are willing to drill a hole. -Well, well, well, wait-- -So, wait-- does it actually have to go in their brain? -No, because right now, you can-- right now you can detect different wave lengths on the human head -Right. -without having something to go, in your head. -Right. -And so maybe they can detect a pattern with like emotions when you're stressed, you know, they can tell when different areas are lighten up. They don't need to like drill holes in our heads, you know. -Yeah, what is that like-- there's like a headband with like-- -Right. -kitty ears on it that move according to how you're feeling. -Right. I'm thinking they're gonna try to study the pattern to see if they can like chorally, like all right, well he just got hit or he's hungry or therefore this wave means that or this you know. -Right. -Because I'm watching this video, nothing I'm seeing here is-- -They never show it off how it works. Yeah, they put it on the dog but there's no speech patterns that come out of the speakers. -Like scratch the ear, oh, that means happy, because that wave looks like that. -Right. I'm pretty sure it's not that difficult to tell what a dog is thinking. Like what you said earlier, there's a lot of body language. You could tell by the way that their face is moving or even by their barks. I'm sure every owner can decide for what their dog is thinking just based on how the dog is barking, right? -Squirrel. Squirrel, squirrel. -Yeah, flip. -I'm watching this video, man. I don't trust these people. They're just like writing equations on white boards and just you know, putting, you know, headsets on dogs and they're like we figured it out. -Yeah. See, this is part of the game of today's shows, which story is BS or are they all? -Yeah. You know, I mean like, as long as they're not hurting any dogs, I don't know, man. -Yeah. -They're freaking me out, it's true. -It's like a waste of time. -Yeah. -I don't like their haircuts. -I feel like-- I feel-- and you know, just from watching the Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan a lot on Netflix, -That dude knows what's up. -I feel like this is all catering to that type of dog owner that he hates which is the one who treats their dogs like kids. -Like a person, yes. -And you should not do that because dogs need discipline and structure. -They do 100 percent. -Uh-hmm. -And they don't need affection. -Yup. -You know, they like affection but you should, that should be the third thing on the list of what you do. -The dog needs to look at you as its like source for living. -Right. -Or as its alpha. -When you-- -Like its commander, yeah. -Exactly. It's gotta take a backseat to you and that's when you develop a great relationship and that took a while to do with Marty because Marty, he kind of made us his bitch for a while. -Yeah. -Like we were doing whatever he wanted until we started seeing like laying down the law, -Uh-hmm. -and now the relationship we have with him is that much more positive. -Uh-hmm. -You're right. -But-- -Would you have to be a little bit firm with them? -You do. You do and sometimes, you gotta bop them on the nose, man. -Right. -You know, they're-- look, they-- you feed-- it knows you feed them. It knows all these awesome things, not to mention we freaking took this guy out of like the dump he was living in. -Right. -So, they're grateful but-- -I also-- I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong but dogs don't just bark for no reason. They bark probably because they have aggression that needs to be taken out. -Some-- or they hear something that they're scared about. -They wanna walk. Yeah, yeah. -There's a multitude of reasons. -Whatever that barking is that needs to be addressed not just like, what do you do? I'm hungry. -Right. -You know, it's not always as simple as that. -Right, for sure. For sure. -Uh-hmm. -I don't know. I'm thinking this is kind of BS. -I'm thinking you need to get a dog, man. -I know. I really wanna get a dog as soon as I get an apartment that can fit me and the dog. -You don't even need this thing. Have you seen huskies that talk? -Yeah. I've seen that Mishka, I love you. -She's got a point. -See, just get a husky and it will talk to you. It will all be good. -Bridget is on top of this. -Yes. -What can we say? -I love dogs but how-- -You're a [unk] woman, truly. -What's it like taking that-- taking Marty out in the morning when it's snowy outside? -Ask my wife. -Eat a snow? -That's not a question for Jeff. -I always feel bad. It's one of the reasons why I feel bad having like a small dog. I'm like gonna give a little shoes or something. I'm like these poor guys. -No, they're wild animals, oh, they're not wild animal, they're domesticated but they're not meant to work on cold concrete though. -No, they're not really meant for anything but they're-- -Yeah. -they're just, you know, they put up or they are, you know, like yeah, they're not meant. See, like saying that humanizes them. -Uh-hmm. -And like oh, they'll be uncomfortable or something-- and you have to train yourself to be like, oh, wait a minute. -Wait, they're packed animals. -He's wearing like four fur coats. -Right. -All the time. -I will still buy the little shoes. -I mean, talking there and like when they're salt and it can damage their paws that's one thing. -Uh-huh. -Right. -Because that happened to Marty. -Oh, really? -He starts like doing like the fire coal walk. -Yeah. -He's like-- you know, he does that thing. -Right. -Oh, I didn't know it could happen. -Because it can row their paw pads. -Yeah. -But you know, for the most part like I don't put a sweater on him. -You could overheat a dog pretty easy if they have like a thick coat of fur because a lot of them have two layers of fur and top coat in a bottom. -Yeah. -Yeah, you don't need to do that. Like they, they're put together pretty well. That's the thing. You can't-- like, you know, when people say like-- the reason we love dogs much is because their faces look human. -Uh-hmm. -And they look adorable. -Yeah, they're not actually smiling. -Right. -They're panting. -Right. -But we kind of like yeah, give them a-- -Equate that to human emotion. -Right. -And that's why there are lines of like makeup for dogs and beauty products for dogs, -Right. -because you know, humans are so-- and it's not a bad quality. -Yeah. -It's just not the right way to live with the dog. -Dog is so amazing. I saw this one video of a dog lapping up water in slow motion, and it shows and it shows its tongue and it actually-- the end of the tongue curls up -It's like a spoon. Yeah. -onto itself to sort of bring water up. -Right. -They can get a lot at once. -Oh, yeah. -So cool. We should be that lucky. -I've-- to have that tongue I would kill for that. -Yeah. -Today on the dog show. -Yeah. -Seriously. All right, last, we got one more story for the day, sir. -Oh, dogs. -And I'm-- I think I know exactly what it's about as I stroke-- -Don't brag. -the Lord's gift. This is it right here. -Your old red beard over here. -Yup, old red beard. -So, DNAinfo, they published a report this week where they interviewed a couple of New York men that are engaging in the new trend in the field of plastic surgery and that trend is beard transplants. Facial hair transplants. Some doctors are charging up to $7,000 to basically take care out of a guy's head -Uh-hmm. -and stick it into their face. -Uh-hmm. -You know, this is mostly young 20 and 30-year-old men. -So, [unk] those dark green bald and then need another transplant for that -Yeah. -because they take it all from the top. -That's the thing. -It will just be back and forth. -Yeah. The creepy thing, though, about the story is that if they are bald, this text says that they'll take the hair from a different part of your body. Two different parts of your body, one is the chest, the other I won't say. Yeah. -Can I just say it? -Yeah. -That will be like, hey, puce face, what's up? -I would-- actually, are you that pubic hair is more-- -Is coarse. -Yeah, is more of the consistency of your beard hair than your head hair? -Hold on. -Right? -Yeah. -Because-- -Chest hair is soft. -Yeah, I mean, chest hair is soft. I don't have any but like you know, the top of your head has softer hair. It'd be weird if you have like way long Fu Manchu hair that's growing out of your beard. -Well, the top of your heard is-- okay. -Right? Like long, stringy hair is coming out of your beard. -Is this-- okay, number one, how many people have had this done? -Like two, we call it a trend. -A lot of people. -A lot? -Yeah. Apparently a lot of people-- -How many is a lot? -They interviewed four doctors. One of the doctors has three patients coming in. -Okay. -And they-- -That is not a lot. -A week. Three patients a week for the like the past year. That a decent amount. -That is still not a lot. -Are we talking about patching up a little area that maybe they like, oh, I never could grow right here so I need to like patch it up. Does that work? -So, it's a couple of different types of people. One is like the 20 or the 30-year-old but just can't grow a beard, you know, like someone like me for example, although I'm over 30 now. The other is, this is kind of interesting, female to male gender transitions. -That makes sense to me. -Those patients. -That application makes sense. -Men with facial scar and they wanna cover it up with a beard -Okay. -also makes sense, right? -Uh-hmm. -And then third I a Hasids, Hasidic Jews that wanna get a long beard denser side lock. -The pairs? -Yeah, yeah, that like patch on. -Oh, not the-- not the curlicues, they just want like that, they're binnacle beard. -Right, right, exactly, yeah. -Yeah. Which there's no way that's kosher. -What? Getting that hair-- -Like there's no way, -Yeah. -you know, their God is like psyched about that. -Unless the hair is blessed by a Rabbi. -Right or it's gotta be kosher hair. -Right, right. -I think we have like Rabbis who listen. -Yeah. -I'm curious about that. Is that cool? Is that cool, Rabbi? Is that cool, Mordecai? -So, this is kind of crazy. It takes eight hours according to some of these doctors or surgeons. It takes eight hours to transplant all the hair and which case you just want-- -So that-- they're doing it like hair follicle by follicle. -Yeah, yeah. -There are thousands and thousands of follicles. -Yeah. -Wow. This weave, this is it. -What if you like came in for half and you went to work and you had half done. -Right? See, that's the thing. You can't just come in there and say-- -Like, I'm getting the other half done on Tuesday. -I mean, I think you'd look really good with a beard. -Me? -Yeah. -What the hell? Like a Pai Mei style beard? -Well, you've kind of like-- and you just sort of like, -Yeah. -yeah, let it go. -Yeah. Whip it. -Like some sort of gymnast. -Every time he made a decision he had it like that. -Yeah, exactly. -Like, let me think about it. -Like a Gandalf beard. -Yeah. -Immediate wisdom right there. -I've seen you grow it out a little bit, it's not bad. -Mine gets patchy and then also my neck beard hair, they're growing out a lot. -I shave under my neck, yeah. -It's disgusting. And chicks aren't to the neck beard. -No, no. -No, yeah, yeah. All right, we got a lot to think about. -I didn't realize that when you get a hair transplant, you know, wherever it is on your beard or on your head, -Yeah. -they actually make tiny incisions to the scalp or your face. -Yeah and they'd like-- -And then they plug the hair into it. -Yeah. -But after that, the hair starts growing by itself underneath your skin. -Right. -So, even if you shave it, it will start growing more. It's like Chia Pet, like a never-ending Chia Pet. -Just like a Chia. -Damn. -It's not just like a one time thing like, I don't know, like longer eyelashes for example. -My mind is kind of blown there. -Yeah. That's kind of crazy. -I guess, yeah, that's weird. So, Bridget, what do you think? -Science. Science. -Where do you want hair on your body? -What do you think? Are you into it? -Are you into the-- are you into like the beard hair, the chest air, anything like that? -I will say that there's a reason they're doing it. It's a turn on, you know. -Yeah. -Sorry. -Sick. -Some chicks like the young look. -Sick. -That baby face. -No. Chicks dig the beard. That is just what I found to be-- -Have you seen the new Superman, you know, he's not a clean cut guy anymore. -Oh. -Yeah. -That era is over. -Yeah. -We're back to the hairy man, you know. -Dude, it's gotta be scruffy, man. -Yeah. -The Don Draper hairy man. -No one wants like the adolescent look anymore. -You can go a few days and not shaving, get that raggedy sort of scruff that you're looking for. -Sort of. But an Asian beard is different, man. -Yeah. -It's really-- it's not as coarse as it should be, it's really thin. -No, it's like sad. -Yeah. -Not sad. -And if you've ever been to a Chinese restaurant, I don't know, it just makes you look a lot older. You know, Asian men have young faces. -Yeah. -But when they start growing the beard they age 300 years at a time. -Yes. See, everyone's got their thing. No one will ever know if you're older. You know, you have the gift of not knowing your age, embrace that. -Right. Yeah. -You don't get wrinkles like I'll get like that. -Yeah. -But we still have to draw attention to Ariel's beard because he's got the best one in the room. -Yeah. -There's no doubt about it. Look how even, how thick, how perfectly manicured it is, -Yeah. -and groomed. It's angular. -Thank you for manicuring it too. -It's basically enough to like calibrate a scientific instrument again and I've respect the hell out of your beard. -That's pretty good. I'm pretty sure you drew that edging with a sharp, you know, I can see the kind of like-- -Like that's the one thing I-- do you have a guide to do that? -When I go to a barber, I need to do it myself. -Yeah. See, I need-- like mine, I know mine is a little gnarly around the sides. Like I keep it trimmed but I wanna have that angular sort of definition that I think Ariel is a master of. -Uh-hmm. That doesn't get annoying though. I've tried to grow out my beard before and after maybe five days, it just gets so irritating and itchy. -Yeah. -Well, you have to wait longer than that, right? I mean-- -Just gotta grow it out? -Yeah. -Yeah, you have to grow it out, yeah. -Should I do it? -And I think it's irritating for a lot of guys in the beginning, right? -Yeah. -Yeah, I mean, I haven't been clean shaving in 3-1/2 years. -Yeah. All right. -So, I forgot what that life is like. -You get white hairs on your beard? -I got little like grays in my beard, sure. -Yeah. -Yeah, it's harder to tell -Distinguished. -because I-- my beard is way more red than my hair. -Yeah. -What else that they wanna bring of about beards? -Have you seen a Muslim man walking around? Some of them have orange beards. Looking like yours actually. -Yeah. -But that's really cool. I love seeing that. -That's interesting. -I think they dye it with like henna. Maybe I should do that. -Yeah. -It's the new style. -Put Sunnin in your beard. -Yeah. -Remember Sunnin? -Yeah. -You do that. -All right. -All right. I think that's it for today. I don't even think we talk tech once but that's fine, -Yeah. -because it was awesome that Bridget was here. Thank you so much for being here. -It's good to be here. Always interesting with you guys. -Make sure you follow Bridget on Twitter and watch CNET Update, that's everyday, Monday through Friday, cnet.com/update. Okay. So, tomorrow, we're gonna have Kofi Outlaw from ScreenRant.com. That's one of the biggest independent entertainment film review sites. -Uh-hmm. -So, that's gonna be a lot of fun. We'll talk Oscars, we'll talk all the great movies of last year and we'll look forward to the rest of 2014 and what we can expect. So, that is coming down the pike. We also have next week on Wednesday, Andy Daly is gonna be here. -Uh-hmm. -He's got a new show on Comedy Central called Review, which is like perfect because we review stuff here, but he reviews like other things like pillow fights -Right. -and car accidents, and he reviews like racism and then he'll give like stars for rate like, oh, racism, one out of five stars, could have been better. You know, it's not that good. -Right. -Right. So, he'll be here on Wednesday. -That seems like a funny show. -Yeah, it's a real funny show. I've already seen a few episodes. So, we will look forward to that. All right. We're back here tomorrow with Kofi. Make sure you tune in. Until then, shoot us an e-mail the404@cnet.com. You got a question about movies, let us know. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all that junk and we're back here tomorrow. We'll see you then. I'm Jeff Bakalar. -I'm Bridget Carey. -And I'm Justin Yu. -This has been The 404 Show. High tech, lowbrow. Thanks for tuning in and we'll finish things up tomorrow. See you.