Need a phone that costs less than the spare change you can find in your sofa cushions? Orange is offering the Alcatel OT-S319, a pink phone with basic features, for a mere £4.50 when you top up with a tenner, leading Orange to claim that it's the UK's cheapest mobile.
The OT-S31 offers cheap-and-cheerful features including an MP3 player, an FM radio, and a battery that boasts seven days of talk time or 12 days of standby time.
It's marked down from a lofty £9 until 8 April, but you may want to shop around before you commit that carefully ironed McGuyver.
Carphone Warehouse is offering your choice of an LG GB102 or Samsung E1100 for a mere £3.95 with a £15 top-up, both on Virgin Mobile.
Our own mobile deals section will point you to several pay-as-you-go phones under a fiver, including the Nokia 1661, which is a splurge at £4.95 on O2 or Virgin.
Unfortunately, we can't tell you if any of these phones are any good -- we haven't dipped our review toesies into the lake of rock-bottom bargains lately. Let us know in the comments if there are any super-cheap phones you're aching to read more about.