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ThinkGeek fakes out April Fools' Day 2017

Swim while you type and then relax in a tentacle wrap at home with ThinkGeek's annual lineup of goofy fake products (that might possibly become real).

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Amanda Kooser

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Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag

The creative jokesters at ThinkGeek offer up a fresh round of bizarre but desirable April Fools' items ranging from a "Westworld" snake tattoo to an insanely loud Bicycle Horn of Gondor in honor of "Lord of the Rings."

Hot Pockets are a nutritionally questionable snack food featuring a bread exterior filled with various stuffings, like a mini calzone. ThinkGeek's April Fools' version is a Hot Pocket Sleeping Bag with an integrated crisping sleeve for maximum warmth retention. You'll need to provide your own pepperoni.

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Tentacuddle Wrap

Creative knitters came up with the idea to craft wearable mermaid tails as cozy throw blankets. ThinkGeek isn't willing to settle for sweet mermaids. It wants tentacles. This Tentacuddle Wrap even includes suckers. It will keep you warm while you're sitting around reading up on how to summon Cthulhu.

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'Westworld' full-body snake tattoo

HBO's hit robo-Western series "Westworld" features a rifle-toting badass woman named Armistice who sports a dramatic full-body snake tattoo. For April Fools' Day, ThinkGeek imagines that same look could work for anyone just by applying its Westworld Full-Body Snake Temporary Tattoo. You can imagine what a pain this would be to put on if it were actually real.

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4 of 9 ThinkGeek

'Shazaam' on VHS

You remember that '90s movie "Shazaam" starring comedian Sinbad as a genie, right? If you do, you're one of the many people on the internet who are hallucinating the film's existence. You may be confusing it with the '90s Shaq-genie movie "Kazaam," or you may just be swayed by other people's false memories.

Either way, ThinkGeek claims to have found "a whole box full of pristine VHS copies in original Disney Home Video clamshell packaging." Too bad it's just an April Fools' joke.

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Bicycle Horn of Gondor

The "Lord of the Rings" movies may be over, but their legacy lives on in the ThinkGeek April Fools' joke product Bicycle Horn of Gondor. The retailer says it's "fashioned after the horn carried by the eldest sons of the Stewards of Gondor throughout the ages." It clamps onto your handlebars and emits a "massive blast." Use it to help summon your very own Fellowship of the Ring.

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Where's Barb?

Barb from Netflix's '80s throwback horror series "Stranger Things" became a popular cult character thanks in part to her untimely disappearance. For April Fools' Day, ThinkGeek is memorializing Barb in a knockoff of the "Where's Waldo" book series. Instead of having to find the red-and-white-clad Waldo, you need to hunt down Barb hidden somewhere in a busy illustration in "Where's Barb?"

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SwearJar

A classic swear jar is just a container where people deposit money as a punishment for accidentally uttering swear words. ThinkGeek's April Fools' SwearJar is the one with the dirty mouth. It chews you out until you put cash and coins away into savings. A ratings control knob lets you dial it in from PG to R.

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YASS Cat-apult

ThinkGeek is saying "yass" to April Fools' Day with this furry YASS Cat-apult, which also pays tribute to a viral video featuring a woman asking her cat if it wants a treat. Here's how the joke product is supposed to work: "Just put your fingers in the front paw-ckets, pull back on the hind legs, and the rubber in the cat's body will stretch. Let go and the YASS Cat-apult will soar through the air up to 15 feet while declaring 'YASS!'"

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Swim Desk

First came standing desks. Then came treadmill desks. For April Fools' Day, ThinkGeek plans the next logical step: a Swim Desk. The imaginary product features a hilariously ill-conceived swimming pool combined with a desk where you keep your computer. You just tread water and work at the same time.

While ThinkGeek sometimes makes its April Fools' products into real offerings, the Swim Desk isn't likely to ever move beyond the concept stage.

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