From supercars to space chairs, from Avegant to Zensorium, the Luxury Technology Show in Manhattan gathers ritzy brands and glitzy watch bands into one decadent high-tech showcase. As the most expensive item at the show, the McLaren 12C Spider (about $270,000) is the ultimate luxury. We weren't allowed to sit in it, and moreover were advised to be careful with the Prosecco.
It does 0 to 60 in 3.1 seconds, during which time you're advised to hang onto your Anthony Peto.
The twin turbo V-8 summons 616 horsepower, plenty to get you from the Seelbach Hilton to your box at the Kentucky Derby on time.
"Every inch of the 12C Spider is bespoke and crafted to precision. The steering wheel has been modeled from digital scans of a World Championship-winning driver's steering wheel for optimal ergonomics. The Formula 1TM style rocker shift is designed to deliver you an unparalleled sense of control, and 12C Spider's controls are distributed rationally according to how often you use them." Much like your offshore investments.
From a moving cockpit to a stationary one, the Emperor LX is not just any $21,000 chair.
The Emp is designed to provide ergonomic comfort and total immersion, complete with five widescreen monitors on an articulated arm. It's the perfect way to indulge in high-stakes day trading while keeping an eye on your estate's security cameras.
Egress is accomplished by moving the monitors up and out of the way. Class is accomplished by vertebra-like segments of wood.
The chair adjusts six ways and offers a heat/vent climate package. I was told the massage utilizes blood stimulation. No mention was made of a built-in bidet option.
The cupholder is sized perfectly for Voss. Here I crank the volume in preparation for an eight-hour (or until I have to pee) WoW session.
Eat your heart out, Darth Vader.
If you have to use a more conventional "work" space, to go over plans for the new chalet for example, the Stir Kinetic Desk ($3900) can moved from a sitting to a standing position with a double-tap on its touch screen -- which also includes a calorie tracker.
Want to burn more calories? Between sessions with your personal trainer, keep tuned up with the Peloton Bike ($2,000).
The integrated 21.5-inch multitouch console delivers live streaming and on-demand fitness classes. Getting yelled at by someone on a screen never cost so much.
Get your cook to blend up some refreshing post-workout smoothies. The Blendtec Designer 700 ($750, background) has a 1700-watt motor and touchscreen control. Meanwhile, the Stealth ($1500, foreground) is "simply the most advanced blender on the planet, and also the quietest–blending at the sound level of normal conversation."
When it's time to wash up, Simplehuman's line of touch-free sensor products respond to a royal wave.
Make sure you're not breathing the same air as the common rabble with the Blueair Sense ($479). It filters 99.97 percent of all particles, leaving only the wealthiest 0.03 percent.
Time to relax? The Sim2 Fuoriserie ($100,000) is a hand-built, limited-edition three-chip DLP projector that delivers a blinding 5,000 lumens, enough to fill your Ziegfeld-esque media room screen.
For the kids' projection room, Sim2 makes the Crystal Cube ($5,000).
The Cube's sleek box won't spoil minimalist decor.
A huge screen isn't exactly decorator-friendly, but a custom frame with retractable art -- VuTec's Art Screen (around $7,000) -- can tastefully hide that unsightly white rectangle until you want to watch something.
If you insist on 4K, the Sony VPL-VW1100 ($27,999) can fill your screen with those extra pixels for a relative pittance.
Meanwhile, if you're just looking for a regular old TV, the 85-inch Sony XBR-85X950B ($25,000) fits the bill. Full-array local dimming and 4K resolution should make a luxurious combination, and its easel stand legs a nice conversation piece.
Your ears deserve a bit of luxury too. Sure it's not a Krell or a McIntosh, but the TA-A1ES stereo amp ($2,000) is impressive for a Sony. And more important, it matches perfectly with the...
When it's time to leave your penthouse, mansion or private island, you'll need to accessorize with the latest luxury gear. The first thing you'll want to do is safeguard your walking money. Enter the iWallet Biometric Locking Wallet ($350).
It only opens when the built-in fingerprint reader recognizes your touch.
The bluetooth wallet and companion app can also alert you if you leave behind a credit card or if the wallet itself leaves your pocket without permission.
Next accessory: Your smartwatch. Any chump can buy a Pebble, but it takes someone of refined taste to venture further afield. One candidate is made by Android ($200) -- no relation to the mobile operating system used by millions of plebs.
It might not be a Rolex, but it does have a certain je ne sais quoi, no?
No? Well, at least it comes in gold.
Moving on...the masses are likely happy with their iPhone photos, but your images are worth more. Like ten times more. The Walnut wood grip of the Hasselblad Stellar ($2,000) makes every snapshot classier.
Every camera should offer so many choices in wood finish.
Seriously show-offy shutterbugs, especially those who can make their personal assistant carry it around, might prefer the Lunar ($7,000).
Of course you have an iPhone too, and now it can help assess your fitness and wellness when you're away from the spa. The Zensorium Tinke ($119) measures you heart and breathing rate, oxygen saturation, and even your heart's rhytmic pattern. "Thump thump ca-ching, thump thump ca-ching!"
The Vita Fitness measurement helps track your body's status, while a Zen Relaxation measurement can "calm as well as understand your inner self." Who needs thousands of dollars in therapy?
Meanwhile the Aura Breathalizer ($250) brings high fashion to the act of measuring how drunk you are.
After a three-martini lunch, the Aura's simplicity comes in handy.
The Aura unfortunately cannot measure intoxication by cocaine.
The latest trend in luxury smoking, not to be confused with common e-cigarettes, are devices like Ploom ($40).
It uses proprietary "Pods," sort of like tobacco K-cups, available in numerous flavors at $9 per pack of 12. You don't have to do the math.
If you prefer your tobacco wackier, meet the Pax ($250). This premium loose-leaf vaporizer heats rather than burns, loose leafy substances and releases clean vapor instead of smoke.
You can put your _____ in it.
Another ultimate luxury is smoking indoors at a technology show.
Not smoking..."Plooming." And no, I didn't inhale.
After all this indulgence, it's time to drive off in the second McLaren.
Because what's the use of a $270,000 car...
...if you can't have it in his and hers?