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40 embarrassing things you can buy on Amazon

From fart-resistant underwear to the perfect pillow for Nic Cage stans, these are the most embarrassing things you can get on Amazon.

foxvanallen-1
Fox Van Allen
smb-suit
1 of 40 Oppsuits/Amazon

The best, most embarrassing stuff on Amazon right now

Here's some of the strangest and most embarrassing stuff you buy on Amazon right now.

For starters: Yes, this suit is super cool. But when are you going to wear this? No, really, when are you going wear this? 

cnet-embarrassing-licki-cat-brush
2 of 40 PDX Pet Design via Amazon

This absurdly weird tongue-shaped cat brush

Sure, you could buy a normal cat brush. Or you could buy this synthetic Licki tongue brush that lets you clean your cat as if you were a feline yourself.

motorcycle-gnomes
3 of 40 Zeckos/Amazon

These leather biker gnomes

Amazon has no shortage of bizarre and embarrassing garden gnomes -- but these are the only ones wearing leather outfits and giving you the finger. 

cnet-embarrassing-flavor-town
4 of 40 Brisco Brands via Amazon

The perfect shirt for residents of Flavor Town

As Guy might say, this sleeveless tank is money. It's vaguely cheese-colored, too.

cnet-embarrassing-muscle-shirt
5 of 40 DSPlay via Amazon

This shirt that gets you swole without the work πŸ’ͺ

"Damn bro. You just got swole, bro."

"Thanks bro. Pretty sweet, huh, bro?"

"Yeah, bro. What's your secret, bro? Got a new trainer, bro?"

"Nah, bro. Just bought these sweet guns on Amazon."

microwave-for-one
6 of 40 Marie Smith/Amazon

The Microwave For One cookbook

For when your culinary skills begin and end at "keeping yourself alive."

butts
7 of 40 Pinsanity/Amazon

A pin that just says 'butts'

You're thinking about them. You want other people to know you're thinking about them. Butts. 

cnet-embarrassing-butt-acne
8 of 40 Green Heart Labs via Amazon

A solution for all that butt acne πŸ™Š

Because no one wants acne, especially on their butt.

paris
9 of 40 NOWLIN BOOKS/Amazon

Paris Hilton's 'autobiography'

If you own this book, it's probably because someone who really doesn't like you got it for you. 

cnet-embarrassing-cat-hair
10 of 40 Quirk Books via Amazon

A crafting book... for cat hair 🐈

It's one thing to be that person who owns 12 cats. It's entirely another to craft a brand-new cat from the fur of your existing cats.

brony
11 of 40 TV Store Online/Amazon

A My Little Pony 'brony' shirt

Yes, friendship is magic. But wearing this shirt in public is... maybe not. 

cnet-embarrassing-emoji-plunger
12 of 40 Squatty Potty via Amazon

This poo emoji plunger πŸ’©

There's nothing inconspicuous about this plunger. Which we kinda love.

cnet-embarrassing-boyfriend-pillow
13 of 40 Boyfriend Pillow via Amazon

This comfy replacement for human touch

Who needs a real partner when you can just cozy up to this cleverly designed pillow that hugs you back?

cnet-embarrassing-goldblum-shower
14 of 40 Delean via Amazon

A truly wistful Jeff Goldblum shower curtain πŸŒ…

The name of this shower curtain design is "Miss You, Mr. Goldblum," though it's not clear exactly what happened to the veteran actor, or what his relationship is to the dog pictured.

cnet-embarrassing-fanny-pack
15 of 40 A AIFAMY via Amazon

This fanny pack with a unique print

Fanny packs are embarrassing enough, but this "beer gut" print takes the cringe to a whole new level.

cnet-embarrassing-lube
16 of 40 Passion Lubes via Amazon

A gigantic, 55-gallon-drum of personal lubricant

No, the model dunking herself in 55 gallons of lubricant is not included.

cnet-embarrassing-roto-wipe
17 of 40 Prank Pack via Amazon

This truly upsetting toilet device (that's just a prank)

As wonderful (?) as a high-powered butt-scrubbing device may sound, the Roto Wipe is not a real product. It's an empty gag gift box designed to embarrass the hell out of whoever unwraps it.

cnet-embarrassing-cat-butts-coloring-book
18 of 40 Val Brains via Amazon

A coloring book for enthusiasts of cat posteriors

It's time to get creative... with cat butts.

cnet-embarrassing-nic-cage-pillow
19 of 40 LumaPillows via Amazon

The perfect pillow for Nic Cage stans

This sequined pillow is an honest-to-goodness National Treasure.

its-flat-bro
20 of 40 Casper Stith/Amazon

This flat earth shirt

It's not, bro. 

cnet-embarrassing-egg-separator
21 of 40 The Paragon via Amazon

This weird way to separate egg yolks 🍳

If you're making a meringue (or just a healthy egg-white omelet), this egg separator will really come in handy. But why does the egg white have to come out of this guy's nose as snot, though? 😧

cnet-embarrassing-dog-ties
22 of 40 Bestag via Amazon

A new neck tie for your dog every day this month 🐢

There's nothing embarrassing about dressing up your dog... probably. But if you're so obsessed that you need to buy your dog neckties in bulk -- such as this collection of 30 different dog ties for $20 -- that's another story.

romper
23 of 40 Raisevenr/Amazon

A horrifying manly romper

Where to begin with this nightmare? The zipper chest? The hair?

cnet-embarrassing-genitals-sanitizer
24 of 40 Blue Q via Amazon

This hand sanitizer, because...

The less you think about where peoples' hands have been, the better.

cnet-embarrassing-go-girl
25 of 40 GoGirl via Amazon

The perfect tool to liberate women from the toilet seat

Embarrassing... or empowering? You make the call.

cnet-embarrassing-cat-tissues
26 of 40 What On Earth via Amazon

The most absurd way to dole out Kleenex

You may have noticed there are a lot of cats in this gallery. Don't get us wrong: There's nothing embarrassing about cats themselves or cat ownership.

That said, if you're getting your tissues from the butt of a plaster cat, it may be time to reassess your life and how, exactly, you got to this point.

cnet-embarrassing-otoscope
27 of 40 Teslong via Amazon

This high-tech way to see how gross your ear is

Ever wonder just how gross the inside of your ears really are? This 720p HD camera with lights will fill you in on all the waxy details for just $26.

cnet-embarrassing-dog-butt-magnets
28 of 40 Kikkerland via Amazon

Some new butts for the fridge

Did your kid bring home a top-notch report card? Got a new baby picture from the family out west? Stick it to the fridge with a dog butt!

cnet-embarrassing-cat-underwear
29 of 40 Ababalaya via Amazon

Just some underwear with a cat's face, no big deal

Meow yow yow! This one's available in a lot of different designs, too, in case you want an alpaca, owl or corgi on your drawers.

cnet-embarrassing-poopourri
30 of 40 Poo-Pourri via Amazon

This Poo-Pourri spray that reduces bathroom stink πŸ‹

This lemon toilet spray is designed to stop the smell before it even happens.

cnet-embarrassing-squatty-potty
31 of 40 Squatty Potty via Amazon

This gateway to ergonomic pooping πŸ’©

The Squatty Potty is one of the most famous inventions to ever score a deal on ABC's Shark Tank. It's also a surprisingly satisfying tool for bathroom time.

cnet-embarrassing-monkeybutt
32 of 40 Fresh Body FB via Amazon

This cure for 'monkey butt' πŸ’

Amazon reviewers say this "Anti Monkey Butt Powder," a mix of calamine powder and cornstarch, keeps "breast rash" away in the summertime. It comes bundled with "Fresh Breasts" deodorant lotion.

cnet-embarrassing-gold-underwear
33 of 40 K-Men via Amazon

Shiny gold underwear

If you've never twerked in a pair of shiny gold hot pants, well... here's your chance.

cnet-embarrassing-subtle-butt
34 of 40 Fashion First Aid via Amazon

This antigas insert for your underwear πŸš«πŸ’¨πŸš«

There are some questions as to whether these underwear-mounted charcoal filters actually keep the full sulfurous stink at bay -- "Subtle Butt" is more of a gag gift than anything else.

cnet-embarrassing-asswipes
35 of 40 Fresh Body FB via Amazon

These wipes. For your, uh...

There's nothing embarrassing about good hygiene, of course. But just try asking for these wipes by name at your local supermarket. We dare you.

cnet-embarrassing-tampon-flasks
36 of 40 Smuggle Your Booze via Amazon

This genius way to sneak some liquor

Are you looking to do some day drinking at the game, but you're worried security will confiscate your flask before you get in? We guarantee they won't be examining these.

cnet-embarrassing-tongue-cleaner
37 of 40 Dr. Tung via Amazon

This tool for cleaning your gross tongue πŸ‘…

A little bit of embarrassment scraping your tongue now can save you a lot of embarrassment from bad breath later.

cnet-embarrassing-underarm-pads
38 of 40 OHeal via Amazon

These thirsty pads that soak up all your sweat πŸ’¦

Again, as embarrassing as it may be to buy these pads to soak up all your excess underarm sweat, it's probably less embarrassing than the gigantic stains you'd get on your clothes without them.

smooth-move-tea
39 of 40 Traditional Medicinals/Amazon

Smooth Move laxative tea

"Tea, chamomile, large poop." Captain Jean-Luc Picard after several backed-up days on the Enterprise. 

game-over-shirt
40 of 40 Ann Arbor T-Shirt Company/Amazon

This 'funny' shirt

If you're looking for Marriage Story in wearable form, you found it.

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