15 surprisingly mean Steve Jobs quotes...and 2 nice ones (pictures)

The late, great Steve Jobs was known for his wit, especially the acid variety. Here are a few highlights.

Gina Scanlon
1 of 17 Ralph Morse/Getty Images

You're fired!

Steve Jobs was many things, including a genius, a renegade...and occasionally, a terrifying human being.

When Steve Jobs fired someone, he went big.  When he gave the MobileMe boss the ax, he did it on the spot during a speech in Apple's auditorium full of employees.

"Can anyone tell me what MobileMe is supposed to do?" he asked. When the team answered, Jobs replied, "Then why the f*** doesn't it do that?"

2 of 17 Pawel Libera/Getty Images

Five-star hotel? Not. Impressed.

When Apple's Chief Design Officer, Jonathan Ive, booked Jobs a room in one of London's boutique, five-star hotels, Jobs wasn't having it.

"I hate my room. It's a piece of sh*t, let's go," he reportedly said.

3 of 17 Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t!"

When the Xerox Star computer failed in the early 1980s, Jobs decided to recruit one of its hardware designers, Bob Belleville.

"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t," Jobs said, "so why don't you come work for me?" Despite the low blow, Bob joined Jobs.

4 of 17 Michael L. Abramson/Getty Images

Pack up your hard drives and go home

Jobs apparently let a group of Pixar employees go without any severance pay. Early Pixar employee Pamela Kerwin pleaded that employees at least be given two weeks' notice. "OK," he said, "but the notice is retroactive from two weeks ago." BURN.

5 of 17 Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Team FDA

When Jobs was unsatisfied with how partner VLSI Technology was performing, he stormed into a meeting yelling that the team were "f***ing dickless a**holes," according to biographer Walter Isaacson.

After hearing about the incident, VLSI designed jackets with "Team FDA" on them.

6 of 17 Ted Thai/Getty Images

"This is f***ed up."

Jobs didn't just insult his employees. He also criticized his friends. Colleague and friend Lee Chow got to witness Jobs' Hyde side just before the reveal of the "Bondi Blue" iMac.

"You guys don't know what you're doing. I'm going to get someone else to do the ads because this is f***ed up," Jobs reportedly said.

7 of 17 Taylor Weidman/Getty Images

"Your commercials suck."

Jobs wasn't too keen on the iPad's original ad campaign. Disapproving of the first round of promo videos, he simply told the head of the campaign, "Your commercials suck... The iPad is revolutionizing the world, and we need something big. You've given me small sh*t."

8 of 17 Tom Munnecke/Getty Images

No bonus for you!

Possibly one of the more known facts about Jobs is that he didn't do right by Atari partner and friend Steve Wozniak. Jobs denied Wozniak his share of a large bonus after they managed to finish the scaled-down version of a game together. Who needs friends when you've got Steve Jobs?

9 of 17 John G. Mabanglo/Getty Images

Taking no stock

Jobs never gave Daniel Kottke, one of Apple's first employees, stock options. Apple's vice president at the time, Rod Holt, said that he would match whatever Jobs was willing to offer Kottke.

"OK. I will give him zero," Steve replied.

10 of 17 David Paul Morris/Getty Images

"...there's no sex in them anymore."

When Jobs was fired from his own company (temporarily), he criticized key Apple executives, including Gil Amelio, in 1997 by saying, "The products suck. There's no sex in them anymore."

Amelio eventually resigned and Steve took the wheel once again.

11 of 17 Ted Thai/Getty Images


While being interviewed for Walter Isaacson's biography, Jobs said, "I don’t have any skeletons in my closet that can’t be allowed out," and that anyone who didn't like him was probably a "bozo."

12 of 17 Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Mirror revenge

An Apple employee wrote an email to Steve Jobs while he was at Pixar, imploring him, "Please, don't come back to Apple, you'll ruin it."

Steve's epic response? "You may be right. But if I succeed, remember to look in the mirror and call yourself an a**hole for me."

13 of 17 David Paul Morris/Getty Images

Blowing smoke

During a dinner in New York in the 1980s, Jobs supposedly showed his displeasure with a friend who was smoking at the table. Without even looking at the cigarette or breaking from conversation, Jobs reached across the table, picked up the burning cigarette from an ashtray, and dropped it in the smoker's half-full water glass.

14 of 17 Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Grocery grumbles

Jobs was infamous for his allegedly rude behavior at the local Palo Alto Whole Foods. According to an eyewitness, he once held up a checkout line for several minutes arguing with the cashier over a quarter.

15 of 17 Tom Munnecke/Getty Images

Well, that was awkward

During a first job interview, Steve asked the candidate if he was a virgin, and how many times he'd taken LSD.

When the guy tried to deflect with a technical question, Jobs broke out with, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."

16 of 17 Ted Thai/Getty Images

"Your time is limited"

There are the occasional brilliant moments where Jobs encapsulated something truly beautiful and profound.

"Your time is limited," he once said. "Don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of another's opinion drown your inner voice.

"And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

17 of 17 Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

The last word

When all is said and done, Jobs' life was an inspiring story.

He created his "ding in the universe," as he once said. There are a barrage of additional quotes from Steve, but we'll leave you with this one:

"Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

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