The biggest problem with jewellery is it looks pretty, but doesn't do anything. Diamonds might take literally 1 billion years to form, but what have they unlocked for me lately?
That's why we invented smart jewellery. But the biggest problem with smart jewellery is it's designed to be functional and understated -- there's nothing out there for the person who wants more jewels, more unnecessary features and more in-your-face opulence.
Spotted in the back halls of Computex in Taipei, Asia's biggest (and quite often weirdest) tech show, the Smart Xring and accompanying Smart Necklace are pure Liberace in the looks department and they're smart (in a pretty, but wholly unnecessary way).
An RFID chip embedded in the Xring and Necklace can be used to open smart locks, and an LED embedded under the gem refracts coloured light to alert you to phone notifications.
But that's not even the best part.
The necklace shoots perfume at you when you get a phone call. Natch.
I'll level with you here: When I asked the CEO of Yokojima Co. (the Taiwanese company behind the smart jewellery) how the technology worked, the response was a big smile and the words "Patent pending!" 10 minutes of delightful conversation later, the closest I got was a hint at bluetooth technology.
The perfume certainly smelled like the kind you'd expect to find in a plastic smart ring, but we weren't able to get a proper demo to see it spritz during a phone call.
Who the hell knows if this smart jewellery will ever make it to market or if you even want to get a punch of perfume every time your mum calls. Like so much in the remote corners of Computex, there's a good chance this will be vaporware that is never heard from again.
But somewhere, I know there's a market for people who want a gentle waft of sandalwood when their plumber rings up to say he's coming to fix the leaky shower.
Sometimes you just need a touch of luxury.
Be sure to check out the rest of CNET's Computex 2018 coverage here.