The world is going to hell in a handbasket… but not for you, prospective Mercedes-Maybach buyer. Through hard work, determination, a legacy admission to Wharton and some "creative" PPP loan accounting (allegedly), you have ascended to the top. Your success grants you access to the upper echelon of vehicles. No mere S-Class will do anymore, which is why you will want to bathe in the sumptuous luxury of the 2022 Mercedes-Maybach S580.
Despite your affinity for some of the more… garish corners of Neiman Marcus, some degree of subtlety remains important in your line of work. The Maybach definitely confers that sort of executive-level restraint, borrowing nearly all of its looks from the smaller S-Class, save for additional chrome on every side and some choice Maybach badges on the C-pillars -- and yes, fear not, they light up. Throw in some 20-inch monoblock-style wheels and a $12,750 two-tone paint job, and you have a car that shows just enough personality without turning it into a rolling, waving wallet.
While the outside may not bear too many unique points compared to the S-Class, let your driver electronically swing open one of the Maybach's massive rear doors via the infotainment touchscreen and you'll find something far more palatial and fit for a person of your stature. This S580 includes the near-mandatory $6,000 executive rear seat package, which ditches the bench in favor of two individual reclining seats and a center console with fold-out tables, in addition to heated and cooled cup holders. One push of a button on your door panel pushes the front passenger seat forward, so you can recline to your heart's content -- not every waking minute needs to be devoted to work, after all. Speaking of leisure time, this one also includes a centrally mounted refrigerator ($1,100) and two champagne flutes ($3,200). Sure, it eats into trunk space a bit, but there's still plenty of room back there for your golf bag or LV-printed luggage.
Rest your head on this pillow for a second and take in every inch of the Maybach's interior. No corner or expense was spared here -- you're not the kind of person to take shortcuts, anyhow, right? Everything you touch is made of real Nappa leather ($8,000), from the heated armrests to the entire headliner. Enjoy the subtle striping ($1,300) on the Obsidian black trim. Run your fingertips over any of the Burmester 4D surround-sound audio system and revel in the precision of the laser-cut metal. Everything here is fit for a king… or a chief executive. Same thing, really.
Now, of course, a driver will probably be in charge of taking you between your home and office, but if the desire for control takes over and you want to get behind the wheel, you won't be let down. The S580's 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8 produces 496 horsepower and 516 pound-feet of torque, sent through a 9-speed automatic transmission to all four wheels. Let me start it up for you. Did you hear that? Of course you didn't. That's just the kind of level of isolation the Maybach offers -- even starter motors are too pedestrian for a distinguished person like yourself. You won't hear much on the road, either, and that goes for both the engine and any wind or tire noise. The glass is so thick you'd think the car is nearsighted.
MostMercedes models are at their best in Comfort mode, but they lack Maybach mode. Flip a switch and the suspension transforms into cloud-filled pillows that barely register speed bumps, nevertheless pockmarked roads or highway expansion joints. You may have been in a Lexus LS or even a Rolls-Royce Ghost, and I must say, you will wonder how you ever survived in those claptraps. If a smooth ride is your top priority, and it probably is because who can do important work when they're getting bounced around, then you will love the pedal articulation. Every input is muted to hell and back so that every start and stop are buttery smooth, and it starts accelerating in second gear to reduce unwanted movement further. Sure, there's a Sport mode if you want to try and turn this into an athlete, which it definitely is not, but you probably already own a sports car for those kinds of jollies. Best to keep your spheres separate and distinct.
Does the Maybach get good fuel economy? Well, it's a limousine with a twin-turbo V8, so not really. The EPA says it gets 15 mpg city and 24 mpg highway, but it'll push close to 28 mpg on the freeway with a light foot. Not that it matters to you; gas could cost $100 a gallon and it'd still be pocket change.
Whether it's you or the driver behind the wheel, you'll both appreciate the high-quality tech throughout the Maybach S580. MBUX is the star of the show, as it is on every other modern Benz, and for good reason. It looks good, it's responsive from a cold start and it's loaded with stuff that'll impress. You can set your own vibe with the interior's multicolor animated ambient lighting, or you can pick one of several presets that come with a cute little matching graphic on the main 12.8-inch OLED touchscreen. Those flashing lights never fail to deliver on the razzle-dazzle.
But there's so much more cool stuff in here. The embedded navigation system works with the massive head-up display to deliver augmented-reality turn-by-turn directions, same as the electric EQS, which makes it nearly impossible to miss a turn. The 12.3-inch gauge display has a 3D effect that really only looks cool to the driver, but hey, that guy deserves a little excitement in his life, too. If you prefer the comfort of your own phone, wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are standard, and there are several USB-C ports in each row to keep all your necessary devices charged.
What good is getting to the point in life where you can own all this neat, expensive stuff, only to be shuffled from the mortal coil? Thankfully, the Maybach S580 has you covered there, too. It's loaded with every active and passive safety system Mercedes offers, from emergency braking to pedestrian detection to blind-spot monitoring and a surround-view camera system with unmatched fidelity. The ambient light can even be configured to change as the parking sensors pick up objects, which is another neat little touch. The Maybach also includes full-speed adaptive cruise control, which can combine with other aids for a hands-on system that does a superb job at holding the vehicle in its lane while matching pace with traffic. The AR HUD will even highlight upcoming vehicles with a little green line, and it will also guide you through an assisted lane change. You're not going to find that level of detail anywhere else right now, even on the Phantom, so be sure to make fun of your Rolls-Royce-owning friends for that one.
At the upper echelons of the automotive industry, few vehicles can truly compare with the Maybach S580 that stands before you. The Rolls-Royce Ghost is more of a driver-oriented vehicle, and while the Phantom may win the lamb's-wool-carpet and embedded-umbrella contests, you're still smart enough with your money to question whether you really need to spend that extra $100,000 or more on a Roller. The Maybach is one serious value play compared to those cars, with a starting price of $185,950 including $1,050 in destination charges. This example and its options ring in at $227,900. Now that's a bargain. Put the money you saved on this transaction toward another addition to your weekend penthouse.