Cupidtino: Apple fanboys and fangirls unite on dating site

Hollywood teaches us that geeks aren't supposed to find love. Nerds are supposed to live in their parent's basement, reek of Mountain Dew, sweat and failure, and play World of Warcraft until they die in a puddle of their own bodily fluids, aged 35, from complications arising from diabetes. But Hollywood forgets that Apple fans are a different breed of geek -- they're faster, stronger, prettier and, crucially, less likely to have developed a gaming addiction. Although Apple geeks are better than PC geeks, however, they can still need a little help finding love.

Hence the emergence of dating site Cupidtino, which aims to bring Apple fanboys and fangirls together over their love of aluminium unibodies and bright, LED-illuminated screens. The logic is that all Apple lovers are cut from the same cloth -- they're bright, creative and almost certainly free of any bodily odours that might afflict a PC user.

Ingeniously, the site is going to weed out PC troublemakers by only offering its services via Apple platforms. So, expect iPod, iPhone and iPad apps, but don't hold your breath for access via Android, BlackBerry or -- God forbid -- Windows Phone devices. Having said that, the site does also mention Safari, so any self-respecting, Apple-hating geek should be able to spoof his browser in about five seconds flat, sign up and cause all sorts of flame wars and horrible dates.

We can't help but feel immense excitement about this site and its match-making potential. Imagine what could happen if Apple lovers became lovers of other Apple lovers. Just think of the beautiful Apple-loving babies they could produce. They could be called names like Newton, Lisa and Apple.

Perhaps Apple could recruit future employees only from the progeny of two Apple lovers. Imagine this super race of Apple fans -- think of what these beautiful babies would be capable of doing for the company. Perhaps, one day, they could entirely rid the world of PCs and all who use them. Imagine that world -- gleaming, white and, best of all, virus-free.

A site like this could be used for evil too, of course. What if some IRC-dwelling madman decided to go on a killing spree, murdering people based on their platform affiliation?

Actually, that would make a rather good movie. If you'll excuse us, we've got a screenplay to write. Hopefully Hollywood will be receptive, especially if we stick to the stereotypes.