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Ford to hire 360,000 new worker bees -- literally

It's the least Ford can do after stealing the bees' intellectual property.


In a move that's sure to generate plenty of buzz, Ford is preparing to welcome hundreds of thousands of drones to its global headquarters, but not in the way you might think.

Ford will install six new beehives on its campus in Dearborn, Michigan, in order to support the local honeybee population. Ford employees who helped spearhead the project will be in charge of managing the hives. I wonder if that counts as bee-ing eligible for hazard pay.

Here's an artist's rendering of the beehives, and a non-artist's rendering of a beekeeper.


Why is Ford doing this? Bee-cause honeybees are a vital part of the local ecosystem, pollinating flowers and providing us with a substance that looks really good when stored in a plastic bear-shaped container. Ford has a similar program in place at its Rouge Complex, as well.

"Sustainability is more than improving fuel economy and reducing waste," said Kim Pittel, Ford's vice president of sustainability, environment and safety engineering, in a statement. "It's about improving the environment we live in for all, and that includes honeybees, pollinators and the ecosystems that depend on them."

The hives won't just be some boring old boxes, either. Ford actually held a design contest for shells that will surround the hives. Chris Westfall, who works on vehicle interiors, won with his design that features sail-shaped sides to protect against the elements while bee-ing easy on the eyes. Once they're at full capacity, Ford expects its campus to be home to some 360,000 honeybees -- or 60,000 per hive, in case you can't divide by six.

I'm pretty sure this is all just a cover to make up for Ford's thievery. In January, Ford stole the bees' intellectual property (the honeycomb, namely) to create a super-strong package shelf for the new EcoSport SUV that can hold 500 pounds while weighing just 6 pounds itself. This is clearly an attempt to ameliorate the insects bee-fore they gain sentience and file a lawsuit against the automaker.