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Speedo teases, only to disappoint

One of the odder exhibitors at CES is Speedo. Are they offering gadgets tiny enough to fit into the preferred swimming costume of European men? It's hard to tell.

LAS VEGAS--As the people's representative at CES, I wander around in search of the real, the understandable, the verifiably human.

It's harder than you think when so many people here still believe--despite all the evidence known as Apple--that specs sell.

So when I saw the name "Speedo" on a booth, I felt naturally excited. Having grown up in that Europe place, I have some small understanding of why European men so enjoy wearing briefs to practice their butterfly.

Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

It's about both sex and confidence. Europeans are generally more comfortable with exhibiting their bodily wares. Their sense of personal freedom is, at least carnally, more developed than in, say, the U.S.

On seeing Speedo exhibiting, I therefore felt sure that they would be offering fascinating accessories to complement one's Speedos.

Yet a visit to Speedo's booth yesterday was somewhat deflating. There weren't any microscopic cameras that slipped easily into one's slip. There weren't any minuscule gadgets that could be whipped out from your Speedos with just the flick of a finger.

What I saw was a waterproof mp3 player. Which has been out for a while. In fact, the booth seemed still unfinished, as my picture shows. I think the things in my picture are underwater cameras.

They don't seem all that tiny. Perhaps that is the point. Perhaps instead of hanging them from one's Speedos, one is supposed to tuck them inside.

I feel sure that European men are hankering after more Speedo gadgets. I will try and get back to the Speedo booth to see whether more have materialized.

Surely all those who wear Speedo-size swimming gear, such as Giorgio Armani, will need to show off some new gadget accessories this summer.