If you're still angry at an ex for standing you up, maybe it's time for some not-so-sweet revenge. The San Antonio Zoo is offering to name a cockroach, rodent or veggie after the person of your choice, then feed it to one of the zoo's resident animals. It's part of the zoo's Cry Me a Cockroach annual Valentine's Day fundraiser, and you can get in on it for as little as $5 (£4, AU$7).
The Texas zoo also tracks which names are most commonly used in the promotion.
"Last year, the most popular names were Jacob and Sarah. Who will take the cockroach this year?" a zoo statement reads.
Five dollars gets you a veggie to name, which is then fed to a vegetarian animal. It costs $10 (£8, AU$14) for a roach, and $25 (£20, AU$35) for a (frozen) rodent.
Twenty gift-givers can go all-out, and receive a shareable video of the animal eating whatever was named for your, uh, friend.
The San Antonio Zoo isn't the only one offering such a promotion. New York's Bronx Zoo offers a slightly different gift package that also involves naming a roach after someone for Valentine's Day. That zoo's promotion costs $75 (£60, AU$106) and includes a roach tumbler, roach tote, a printed certificate with the roach's name, and the ability to schedule and up-close-and-personal encounter with a Madagascar hissing cockroach.