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Oscar Mayer bologna-inspired face mask hydrates and horrifies

My bologna face mask has a first name.

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Maybe don't wear this out in public.
Oscar Mayer

I have no idea what's in bologna. The off-pink deli meat is something I haven't thought about since childhood. Then along comes meat-maker Oscar Mayer with a bologna face mask, and I'm now having deep thoughts about lunch and self-care.

Scratching sound. Rewind. Bologna face mask?! Oscar Mayer, never one to shy away from flashy marketing moves, is selling a $4.99 Bologna Hydrogel Sheet Face Mask on US Amazon as of today, for as long as supplies last.

Oscar Mayer is riffing on the playful idea of biting out eye and mouth shapes from a piece of bologna and then holding it over your face like a mask. Where did this bizarre ritual come from? I don't know and I'm afraid to ask, but it sounds like a very American thing to do.

The face mask might look like a slice of luncheon meat, but it's not edible. It's made by Korean skincare company Seoul Mamas and uses witch hazel and seaweed ingredients. It works like a standard hydrating face mask. Cleanse your face, apply the mask, wear it for up to 20 minutes. Remove it and feel the energy of the universe rejuvenate your soul. Or something like that.

"This is the latest in our brand movement to create work that feels more like pop-art and less like traditional commercial advertising – inspired by the old, modernized for today," said Oscar Mayer senior marketing analyst Lindsey Ressler in a statement on Wednesday.

If there's a downside to this publicity stunt, it's that the face mask looks rather, well, creepy. Sort of a sanitized Leatherface look. But let's not dwell on that thought. Oscar Mayer is trying to inspire conversation and encourage people to take time for self-care. 

I went and looked up the Oscar Mayer bologna ingredients. Turns out it's often chicken and pork and beef or sometimes just beef, depending on what style you get. A true meat of mystery.