A Bear's Face on Mars Blake Lively's New Role Recognizing a Stroke Data Privacy Day Easy Chocolate Cake Recipe Peacock Discount Dead Space Remake Mental Health Exercises
Want CNET to notify you of price drops and the latest stories?
No, thank you

I ate Oscar Mayer's hot dog ice cream sandwich and lived

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!

This poor ice cream sandwich barely survived the journey.
Amanda Kooser/CNET

I'm a flexitarian (mostly veg, but sometimes meat), but these lips haven't touched the flesh of a four-legged animal for years. And so I approached the impending arrival of the Oscar Mayer hot dog-flavored ice cream sandwich -- the Ice Dog Sandwich -- with a mix of trepidation and awe. 

This is a frozen treat that shouldn't exist, and yet it does. It's defiant. It's so, so wrong. It's delicious. I know because I ate one.  

It's one thing to see a photo of this mind-boggling concoction, made with spicy dijon gelato and candied hot dog bits; it's another to reckon first hand with its sheer audaciousness of being. 

The Ice Dog came wrapped in foil. 

Amanda Kooser/CNET

Meat-loving brand Oscar Mayer first wowed/freaked out the internet with its Ice Dog Sandwich on Aug. 1. What fresh hell is this, some of us wondered. Get in my belly, said others. I viewed it like you would a deep-fried scorpion on a stick: repellent, yet compelling. 

Oscar Mayer created the Ice Dog in partnership with the New York City boutique ice cream company il laboratorio del gelato. The mission was clear: re-create the Oscar Mayer hot dog experience in the form of an ice cream sandwich. 

My Ice Dogs arrive on a blazing day in New Mexico inside a square FedEx box labeled "perishable." I open the Styrofoam container and deliver two squishy, leaking silver-wrapped sandwiches into my freezer. I can almost hear them sigh with relief. 

I wait for the refreeze. Then I unwrap one. It's not much of a looker. The colors are pale. Little meat chunks sit suspended in the hot dog sweet cream. 

Trembling, I take a bite. Sweetness. Childhood memories of the sugary syrup from pickle relish soaking into a bun. The mustard arrives, floating across the back of my palate and into my sinuses. Finally, the salty savory flavor of an Oscar Mayer hot dog, like a secret whispered between the parallel sheets of the cookie bun.

I don't want to like the Ice Dog Sandwich. It sugar-coats the experience of eating a hot dog. This shouldn't work, but here I am eating the whole thing. 

I stare at this living embodiment of a marketing stunt, slowly freezing the skin on my fingertips, and feel like a kid running through the grass at a picnic, hot dog in hand, pausing only to laugh or take another bite. 

Damn it, Ice Dog Sandwich, what have you done to me?

Now playing: Watch this: Burger King's Impossible Whopper: see the technology...