This life-threatening cold is serious business, but social media is trying to chill out.
It's going to be capital-C Cold in a large part of the country today.
How cold? It's "blow soap bubbles and watch them freeze" cold. It's "throw hot water into the air and see it turn to steam" cold. It's so cold in Minnesota that the newspaper I used to work for, the Minneapolis-based Star Tribune, has a headline on its website asking, Can we catch Siberia?
The cold is serious business. "Some 100 million people will experience temperatures near or below zero," CNET sister site CBS News warns. The cold is so extreme that exposed skin can suffer frostbite in five minutes or less, CBS notes.
Blame something called the polar vortex. CBS News describes it as a whirling mass of cold air that "usually stays closer to the poles, but sometimes breaks apart, sending chunks of Arctic air southward into the US during winter." This week, the cold air is coming all at once, CBS meteorologist Jeff Berardelli writes.
You can't beat the cold, but you can survive it. Stay inside, if you can. Bundle up in layers, if you can't. Keep your gas tank full, pack a car emergency kit and make hot soup. And have a sense of humor about it, as these Twitter users did.
First off, there are many, many Star Wars jokes, thanks to the ice planet Hoth. "I'd like to go out for lunch, but not sure my Tauntaun will reach the first marker," Eric J. Klinker wrote.
I'd like to go out for lunch, but not sure my Tauntaun will reach the first marker. #PolarVortex2019
— Eric J. Klinker (@EricJKlinker) January 29, 2019
May the Force be with us. 🥶 #PolarVortex2019 pic.twitter.com/qWhXMKSgcb
— Jen 🏴 (@keribo1) January 29, 2019
i’ve made a planet hoth joke at least 4 times today and nobody has gotten it :(
— Selena 🌵 (@Selena_Cardiel) January 29, 2019
I've seen all the "Chicago = Hoth" memes. Which made me wonder: Would a tauntaun even be the best mount for extreme cold/snow & ice?
— 🦖 SUE el tiranosaurio rex 🦖 (@SUEtheTrex) January 29, 2019
I think you'd need:
✅ Endothermic
❌ Huge amounts of fat stores
❌ At least four limbs in contact with the ground pic.twitter.com/c1FlR3tGsr
My generation when it snows: I'm Luke on Hoth!
— Radio D'Qar (@RadioDQar) January 29, 2019
His generation when it snows: I'm Han on Vandor! pic.twitter.com/0uw2VhVOIE
But the snark was mostly focused on our own planet.
Looks like Justin Bieber wasn’t actually the worst thing to come out of Canada.
— Faber (@dfaber84) January 29, 2019
#PolarVortex2019
Minnesota Twitter today: “Why did we cancel school when we only got 6 inches of snow and the temperature is above 0?”
— David Montgomery (@dhmontgomery) January 28, 2019
Rest of the country: *backs away slowly*
Chicago will be colder than Antarctica this week. Wow! 🥶
— Cameron Grant (@coolcam101) January 29, 2019
#PolarVortex2019 pic.twitter.com/ppA904HFJw
They call it "Barney" because of its color on a weather map. It doesn't love you. https://t.co/T7WalsmkqA #PolarVortex2019 pic.twitter.com/dSDQQDzLJY
— David Beard (@dabeard) January 29, 2019
Colder than mars. #PolarVortex2019 pic.twitter.com/ryi78u1s76
— Guillaume MG (@GuillaumeKMG) January 28, 2019
When it’s so cold, even your ghost freezes to death.#PolarVortex2019 #chiberia2019 pic.twitter.com/KhvVmmqVq3
— Mikky J Wright (@mikkyjwright) January 28, 2019
This man is only showing what would be my top-most layer. pic.twitter.com/Zv7itTZTCv
— U. S. Elaine™️ 🍳 (@USelaine) January 28, 2019
-On Wednesday we'll be at -40.
— Rafael Tinoco (@rafaelotinoco) January 29, 2019
-Celsius or Fahrenheit?
-Well, actually...#PolarVortex2019 arriving #TheDayAfterTomorrow. Stay warm! pic.twitter.com/cWInZDEmxz
I’m just a girl standing in front of January asking it to be April.
— ℳ (@Love_bug1016) January 29, 2019
Only 125 more days until I open my pool🥶 #OnStorm #Blessed #KillMeNow #PolarVortex2019 #YQG pic.twitter.com/2LSwKFPBOR
— Jackie (@Jackstar009) January 28, 2019
Them: How did he die?
— Just Josh (@Jmann500) January 29, 2019
Me: he went out side
Other Minnesotans: oh ya, ya can’t do that now, don’t cha know
And there's nothing cold-weather citizens like more than dissing their warm-climate "friends" who keep posting photos of the temperature in Florida or other southern states right now. "Thoughts and prayers for Florida," one wrote.
8” of snow down South: Buy all of the milk, bread and water possible while not planning to leave the house for a week!!
— Clinton Griffiths 📺🎙📝 (@AgDayAnchor) January 28, 2019
8” of snow up North: Looks like today is a good time to winterize my boat!! #TrueStory #NWIWeather #Iknowthisguy #PolarVortex2019 pic.twitter.com/w5xL6j0S2Z
Thoughts and prayers for Florida 🙏 https://t.co/vXgtQ2Hp8g
— Mary McGuire (@mcguirereports) January 29, 2019
I just got to Atlanta, and I learned that school is cancelled, and tomorrow is a snow day. Its in the 40s. There is no snow on the ground.
— KatieEukel (@KTAndrea) January 29, 2019
The city is projected to get 0.25 inches of snow tomorrow.
I’m giving Atlanta some serious side-eye right now.
As the rest of the country backs away I shudder to think of the calamity about to befell Tennessee with 1-3 inches of snow thanks to winter storm Jayden. I find humor in how ALL of us perceive weather around the country.
— Thomas Holtz (@HolltzThomas) January 28, 2019
Not a bad time to be in Florida😎🌴
— WPTV (@WPTV) January 29, 2019
Temperatures this week: https://t.co/qzTQzzRmVl pic.twitter.com/6YMUE1iGHR
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