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SOA isn't complex, you're dumb

Stephen Shankland Former Principal Writer
Stephen Shankland worked at CNET from 1998 to 2024 and wrote about processors, digital photography, AI, quantum computing, computer science, materials science, supercomputers, drones, browsers, 3D printing, USB, and new computing technology in general. He has a soft spot in his heart for standards groups and I/O interfaces. His first big scoop was about radioactive cat poop.
Expertise Processors, semiconductors, web browsers, quantum computing, supercomputers, AI, 3D printing, drones, computer science, physics, programming, materials science, USB, UWB, Android, digital photography, science. Credentials
  • Shankland covered the tech industry for more than 25 years and was a science writer for five years before that. He has deep expertise in microprocessors, digital photography, computer hardware and software, internet standards, web technology, and more.
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Stephen Shankland

First came Chuck Norris facts: "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris...There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

Next, for those who believe a Counterpane security consultant has comparable clout to the kick-boxing movie star, came Bruce Schneier facts: "Bruce Schneier is not only the man-in-the-middle, he's at both ends and has wiretaps on Alice, Bob, Carol and Dave...When God needs a new secure certificate, he uses Bruce Schneier as the signing authority."

The next invincible entity: the service-oriented architecture, helpfully described on SOA Facts site.

For those who are having trouble figuring out how Web services, modular networked software components and enterprise service buses coalesce into a paradigm-shifting sea change, here are some pointers:

• SOA is not complex. You are just dumb.

• Larry Ellison once died in a terrible accident, but was quickly given SOA. He came back to life, built a multibillion-dollar software company, and now flies fighter jets.

• Guns don't kill people, the SOA WS-* stack kills people.

• One person successfully described SOA completely, and immediately died.

• J2EE can sometimes make a diamond from a lump of coal. SOA can make diamonds from air.