Sure, you can get The Only Two-Way Radio Life Vest."that , but what will you do in an emergency situation? That's when you may wish you had what Hammacher Schlemmer calls "
The Coast Guard-approved personal flotation device comes with two (count 'em) 14-channel two-way radios--"one integrated into the chest of the life vest and another for use on a boat or on shore, allowing instant communication from water skier to boat or ship to shore from up to 1.8 miles away." They also have large buttons and LCDs "for ease of use," which is probably a good thing if you're floating helplessly in a large body of water.
Crave sincerely hopes that you never need this vest in a life-threatening circumstance, but if you're the adventurous sort, it goes for $130. We'll stick watching reruns of Lost.