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Culture

Get mom a life-size 3D-printed replica of yourself for Mother's Day

Nothing says "I love you" like dumping an obscene amount of money on a Groupon so you don't actually have to spend any real time with your mother.

Mom looks pretty pleased that you can't talk back.

Groupon

Mother's Day is coming on Sunday, May 8. I'm taking my mom on a historic house tour followed by a pub lunch and later a home-cooked dinner. Not everybody likes spending that much time with the person who birthed you. That's why deals site Groupon is offering to make a life-size 3D-printed replica of you to send to your long-suffering mother.

The limited-time offer is only available for a couple days. Here's the nutshell description: "With this life-size 3D-printed model, your mom can celebrate Mother's Day by spending time with an object that looks exactly like you."

The price for an inanimate doppelganger is $30,000, which includes shipping and handling to the continental US. Potential buyers must call Groupon directly to purchase the deal. A 3D scan of your entire body is required to redeem the offer. The printing is supposed to be handled by SWIGRO, a distributor of BigRep ONE large-scale 3D printers.

This sounds like a big joke. However, Groupon's Facebook page says, "The greatest Mother's Day gift a child can give is no joke!" The same Facebook comment thread about the offer also gives us this gem of a response from Groupon: "The eyes follow you around the room, too -- because Mom deserves the best!"

This isn't the first time Groupon has trolled the Internet in the name of Mother's Day. Last year, the company offered to send a surrogate "kid" to spend time with mom in your place for a mere $25,000. This year's deal is more expensive, but it's also a gift that keeps on giving. Your 3D-printed model can fill in for birthdays, your weird cousin's wedding, other holidays and family reunions.

Groupon is pretty flexible about the final product. It says it's willing to make a 3D-printed George Clooney, so long as you can convince the real George Clooney to stand still in a 3D scanner to create the blueprint. And let's be honest about this. Who do you think your mom would rather hang out with on Mother's Day: you or Clooney? Clooney wins every time.