Will Colton Underwood lose his virginity on The Bachelor? (In case you missed it because no one ever, ever mentions it on the show, this season's lead is a VIRGIN.)
The far more pressing question about Colton's future, however, is when he'll jump the fence.
A promo for season 23 shows the former football linebacker stomping toward a fence in the dark and declaring "I'm f-cking done," before hopping over it with the ease of someone who's definitely not a fence-jumping virgin.
Dramatic music plays, the female contestants scream and host Chris Harrison drops a "holy s**t," looking into the camera with what looks to be a knowing Chris Harrison smirk. Could this actually be the "most dramatic season ever" ABC has promised so many times?
It's the kind of moment reality TV was born for, one that's given viewers of the long-running dating show something to look forward to in an otherwise humdrum season largely characterized by make-out sessions -- and a requisite cat fight here and there.
"At this point, Bachelor Nation is WAY more excited to see Colton jump a DAMN FENCE than lose his virginity," one fan tweeted. Bachelor Nation, for those who don't live anywhere near it, has roads paved with red roses and tears.
It's also a favorite destination for social media users, spawning a fast-flowing river of tweets on Monday nights and beyond. If the parade of fence-related tweets and amusing impatient-people GIFs since the show's beginning are any indication, ABC had better make sure its star is jumping for the right reasons.
"If it turns out Colton jumps the fence for some normal reason (someone's scarf blew away, there's a cute dog on the other side, idc) I will have no choice but to sue ABC for false advertising and psychological distress," one viewer tweeted.
There's even a Twitter account Did Colton Jump Over The Fence? which gives a weekly status update (just two so far) on Underwood's expected fence hop. "Nope. Let's try again next week," the first tweet reads. Reads the second, "No. But he had us going there for a second." The account has 770 followers as of this writing, a number that's likely to jump if the Bachelor finally vaults over the fence Monday night as ABC promises.
The timing probably couldn't be better. On Friday, the fence-jumping anticipation intersected with news that President Trump declared a national emergency to free up funds for a border wall without congressional approval, creating a natural connection.
Tweeted a viewer: "Why are there no memes of The Bachelor Colton jumping the fence and Trump's wall?" Have at it, internet.