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Apple stoops to selling bar soap, birdhouses, suggests Conan

Fresh out of ideas for its smartphone lineup, the company is trying to get into other lines of business, quips comedian Conan O'Brien.

Anyone want an Apple birdhouse?
Anyone want an Apple birdhouse? Conan/YouTube/screenshot by CNET

Blase about the new iPhones? Don't worry, Apple has other products up its sleeve, at least according to Conan O'Brien.

On his late-night talk show "Conan" on Tuesday, O'Brien highlighted Apple's two new iPhones but said that many people have been critical, complaining that Apple is just modifying its existing lineup without adding anything truly original. O'Brien then segued to a presentation from a fictional Apple executive, who presented a new idea -- hot sauce, available in three flavors: mild, medium, and rim fire.

After the audience booed that idea, the fictional exec quickly moved on to another: bar soap, available in three colors. Facing still more boos, the exec trotted out other promising new products, including scarves, birdhouses, and neck pillows.

In desperation, the exec finally admitted: "We don't know what you want. We don't have any ideas anymore. Just tell us what you want. We don't know what to do anymore. Come back Steve Jobs."