Some of you may well be readers of Glamour magazine. Others may not.
So may I quote this repository of optimism about a certain technologically sophisticated wedding proposal purportedly made in Central Park on Sunday?
The video purports to show a woman called Kasey who has been lured by a friend to the park, where she is surprised by her fiance in a rowing boat. While a band plays "Stand By Me," the boyfriend, called Frank, asks her to marry him and then, please weepeth not, throws her the ring from the boat, as she stands on a bridge above him.
Importantly, the video claims that the proposal could not have been made without hidden cameras and "special iPhone apps."
It wasn't just Glamour that was moved by this technologically astute performance.
Examiner.com, for example, offers that "hidden cameras were synched up with iPhone applications so the entire event could be captured from a safe distance." The writer, obviously moved, then adds: "Frank's proposal serves as a nice reminder that romance is still alive in this age of technology."
I am not usually one to place damp cloths on the flames of romance. There is clearly not enough romantic fervor in the world. There can never be enough love; the same can't be said for technology.
However, when I look at this YouTube video, my Mills does not kiss my Boon.
First, there's all this hoopla about "special iPhone apps." No, no, no. If these iPhone apps were that special, there would be a link to their specialness. They would, at the very least, be named. But no. There is no further mention of what these special apps might be.
What about the way the band sneaks up behind Kasey when she seems not to be looking? They're carrying a cymbal, a large double bass, and a sax. Yet Kasey only seems to notice them when they start playing her favorite song.
Then she starts to mouth the words as the band sings and it's all captured by these "hidden cameras" assisted by "special iPhone apps" in Central Park. She's been lured there by a friend, who mysteriously isn't standing by her any more. Yet Kasey is so unconcerned that she happily sings along to "Stand By Me."
And then there are the hidden cameras. Were more hidden cameras used to shoot the operators of the hidden cameras? That's a lot of technological concealment.
Oh, perhaps this is all for real. Perhaps the sheer indifference shown by the lady with the camera next to Kasey as she shouts "YES!" "YES" to Frank's proposal suggests that these really are astonishing hidden cameras with amazing iPhone apps. Perhaps they will soon be released to our breathless astonishment.
But then Frank throws the ring up to Kasey. Some people might find this deeply romantic. Somehow, I find this deeply suspicious and strangely impersonal.
Then there's the final shot. Kasey is rowing the boat. Oh, no. No, no. A man who just proposed doesn't let his new and highly excited fiancee row a boat. He has supposedly just shown his romantic nature. He has disarmed her with his love. And then he sits back as she rows him away?
One more thing. These people are impossibly pretty. Impossibly pretty people don't have this level of purported imagination. I don't smell romance. I smell someone trying to sell me something.
I do. Do you?