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The Facebook Breakup Notifier: Stalk someone you like

More than 100,000 people have reportedly already signed up for the Facebook Breakup Notifier app. It allows you to be aware the minute someone you have an eye on is available, as in not in a relationship any more.

2 min read

Has Christine dumped him yet? He looked like a freak. But, then again, there always Lucretia. Or Marianna. Or Jeffrey. Are they free yet?

It's very hard to keep up with the relationship status of those whom you'd like to get to know better, as in a whole lot better. This is made even more difficult if you happen to have thousands of Facebook friends and at least 20 people of your target sex (or sexes) whose smell you would like to become familiar with.

Developer Dan Loewenherz knows exactly how you feel. That's why he has created the Breakup Notifier App.

What could be more simple? What could be more useful? What could be more exciting?

This astounding, beautiful, utterly utilitarian piece of technology allows you to be instantly informed when someone you have loved/liked/been desperate to stalk for a very long time finally becomes available.

This app is so blindingly brilliant that I want to alter my relationship with myself for not having thought of it.

Screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

When it comes to love, timing is everything. The same holds for sex, too. So the Breakup Notifier's eagle eyes and instant digits could help you ensnare the love of your life. Or at least your week.

Yes, it does feel a little like stalking. But in a good way. You don't want to miss your chance. Surely, all is fair in love and war. And, when it comes to love, it's always a war.

According to the New York Daily News, Loewenhertz created the app after he eavesdropped on a chat between his fiancee and her mother.

This is not always a wise thing to do. However, in this case, it was his fiancee's sister who needed a date, and, like fine members of the family, mother and sister wondered who might be available to fill that void.

Loewenhertz asked, jokingly of course, whether she'd like to know when he might become available. And one of the world's great ideas was born.

At the moment, the app is free. But it surely won't be for long. With love, you always have to pay.

"I just really hope people use it for good, not evil," he told the Daily News, insisting he had created the app mostly as a joke. "It's really a practical thing. If you're going to refresh someone's page 20 times a day, why not have an alert on it?"

Oh, David. Who are you trying to fool? What have you commenced? Surely this will be greatest mass stalking in the history of relationships. This will make the Million Man March seem like a rural hiking club taking a stroll in a meadow.

Already, the Daily News reports, more than 100,000 people have signed up for this beautiful news bulletin.

What are you waiting for? This could be the one, or the two, or the seven you've been waiting for.