Seahawks' Marshawn Lynch confesses: I'm a cat-video man

Technically Incorrect: Mocking the Super Bowl media day on behalf of Skittles, Seattle's normally monosyllabic running back offers clues to his tech preferences. A blimp rather than a jetpack, for example.

Chris Matyszczyk
2 min read

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Here is indisputable proof that Marshawn Lynch is a cat man. Skittles/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Human beings can usually be divided along simple lines.

There are those, for example, who signal when they're turning and there are those who think only of themselves (often known as San Franciscans).

There are those who put mayonnaise on their french fries and there are those whom you should allow into your house.

Then there are those who adore cat videos, as opposed to doggy-video watchers.

You can't really be both, no matter how much you protest. And I am here to announce that Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch is a cat-video man.

How can I possibly know this? Lynch normally speaks in public with guttural utterances of (understandable) distaste for journalistic types.

Ah, but pay him some money and he'll reveal so much more -- even some tech preferences.

The wise, insane people behind Skittles candies decided they'd slip him some money to open his thoughts. They staged a mock press conference, in which they asked him more-interesting (and therefore more-amusing) questions than he was asked at today's Super Bowl media day.

Many were tech/science related. For example: "If you could live on any planet after you retire from football, which planet would it be?" Perhaps astonishingly, Lynch chose Earth. He actually admitted he likes it here, which was revelation.

He was then asked whether, on game day, he'd choose a jetpack or a blimp to transport himself to the playing field. Again, he offered a sly reply. He'd choose the blimp. Sadly, he didn't say why. How interesting that he would opt for a more sedate method of arrival, though.

Still, the tech questions continued: "Do you think it would be easier or harder to play football on the moon?" Now, there's a question every football writer should be asking. Astronaut Alan Shepherd swung a collapsable six-iron on the moon, but pigskin has never flown there.

Lynch's conclusion: it would be easier to play football on the moon. There might be fewer concussions too.

The Skittling press conference continued with a question about the noise created by 25 T. rexes. I will leave you to enjoy it.

I must now lie down and contemplate the fact that Marshawn Lynch's preferred Beast Mode is cat videos.