Russian spy proposes to Edward Snowden on Twitter

Anna Chapman, the so-called Russian femme fatale expelled from the U.S. for spying, takes to Twitter to solve all of Edward Snowden's problems.

Chris Matyszczyk
2 min read
Anna Chapman, model spy and Snowden suitor. Deracore/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I stand in the light with The Darkness in shrieking: "I Believe In A Thing Called Love."

Yet if I were ever to propose to my future wife -- we're currently not speaking, of course -- I am not sure that Twitter would be my chosen medium.

Anna Chapman, the Russian spy deported in 2010 by the U.S. (with nine others) in exchange for four Russians with Western sympathies, isn't of my mind.

For she took to Twitter to offer her heart to her one true love -- Edward Snowden.

Her tweet was passionately Slavic: "Snowden, will you marry me?!"

Note the use of not only the polite question mark, but the exclamation point of utter excitement.

Perhaps she took one look at the former male-model-turned-whistleblower and decided that she saw a kindred spirit in those weary, fearful eyes.

On her return to Russia, Chapman became a model herself, as well as a TV personality and avowed Putin supporter.

Therein lies a potential problem for Snowden, should he succumb to her advances.

A marriage to a Russian would surely smooth his path toward local citizenship -- he is still, allegedly, in a nice airport hotel in Moscow.

However, the citizenship would be Russian citizenship. He would then be at the even greater mercy of those who would wish to peek into his laptops and USB sticks.

Surely some comely activist from, say, Iceland might come forward to offer her commitment.

In that country, there is already a movement to grant Snowden citizenship. His haven there would surely be more heavenly.

How could Iceland's parliament refuse, should true love blossom between a public-spirited Icelander and a man with "snow" in his name?

And, sadly, the "reply" box is blank. Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET