Man builds world's longest selfie stick, takes awful selfie

Technically Incorrect: A British man is determined to be a world record holder. And what a record to aspire to.

Chris Matyszczyk
2 min read

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

It's not easy to maneuver.

James Ware; YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Please don't ask why.

The answer is usually: Because the Internet.

Instead, try bathing in the sheer enterprise of James Ware, who had a lofty goal in life. He wanted to build the world's longest selfie stick.

The record had been broken by Ben Stiller at the London premiere of "Zoolander 2" on February 5. It stood at 8.56 meters. Otherwise known as 28 feet, 8 inches.

Ware, something of a YouTube personality in Britain, was determined. His was not, though, a sophisticated effort.

It comprised bits of tape and bits of pipe. The whole thing cost 44 pounds and 51 pence (around $61.75).

"I'm just trying to get a new profile picture, he innocently explained to a security officer in London's Trafalgar Square.

The officer didn't feel secure, so Ware went elsewhere.

As he tried to maneuver his huge pole into position to capture his gorgeous features, he looked less like a selfie-taker and more like a drunk trying to hook Moby Dick.

He worried that his precious iPhone would be damaged. He admitted that his pose made him look like he was "taking a slash." This is Britspeak for urinating.

Still, he got his selfie using a stick that allegedly measured 9.57 meters, or roughly 31 feet and 4 inches.

You'll be wondering, though, just how poor the selfie was.

Well, it captured a passing truck quite well. Ware, on the other hand, was but a small element of it. He looked like a man who was desperately trying to stop a lamppost from falling in a windstorm.

Though he claims his is the longest selfie stick in the world, he doesn't get the record. There was no one from the Guinness World Records organization to witness his feat.

But what is the Guinness World Record when you can get the whole world to admire you on YouTube?