I am delighted that Google has used this first day of April to launch yet more of its most ingenious technology.
For the company's GMail blog has announced that it's time to move beyond the QWERTY keyboard. There are simply too many keys to think about. Instead, why not reduce the number of keys to two?
How is this possible? By turning each key into a dot or a dash, thereby allowing you to send Gmail by Morse code.
"This makes it ideal for situations where you need to discreetly send emails, such as when you're on a date or in a meeting with your boss," wrote a post to the blog by a software engineer with the astoundingly coincidental name of Reed Morse.
In a beautifully produced launch video, Morse himself explains that the creator of Morse code, Samuel F.B. Morse, was his great-grandfather's grandfather's brother.
The mischievous new Google product is called Gmail Tap. It already has its own product page, where Google explains that it will offer "multi e-mail" mode with a dual-threaded keyboard, to allow you to type multiple messages at one time. This is only, of course, for power users.
Moreover, in an even more uplifting section called "Coming Soon", the Gmail team promises that it will introduce Ship To Shore Mode, which "activates your phone's flash to communicate with other power users across an ocean (of people)."
Some, having already heard about Google's marvelous introduction of 8-bit Google Maps for Nintendo Entertainment System, will feel sure that Gmail Tap is another piece of April Fools' humor.
Gosh, you mean Gmail Tap isn't real? Dash it.