Dylan to be the voice of GPS?

On his radio show, Bob Dylan says he's in negotiations with two GPS companies to use his voice to give directions. Might this not depress drivers into taking some wrong turns in life?

Chris Matyszczyk
2 min read

All right, let's get the jokes out of the way first.

How many roads must a man walk down before he totally loses his way and has no direction home?

If you've been 10,000 miles in the mouth of a graveyard, shouldn't you retrace your steps or you'll end up on Desolation Row?

Or are you a firm believer in the direction principle called "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right"?

Oh, what I am talking about?

Well, it seems that Bob Dylan, he who has more gravel in his voice than many a snowy road has on its surface, is in negotiations with two car companies that would like to use his distinctive tones for an in-car navigation system to guide the drivers of the world.

Do you know he wrote a song called "Ninety Miles an hour (Down a Dead-End Street)"? CC Binary Ape/Flickr

According to New Musical Express, Dylan told listeners to his radio show, Theme Time Radio Hour: "I think it would be good if you are looking for directions and hear my voice saying something like, 'Left at the next street, no a right. You know what? Just go straight.'"

I don't know whether that would be so good at all.

Cars are things with very particular atmospheres. Somehow the voice that tells you which way to go should surely be one of reassurance, rather than doubt. It should have a soothing timbre, rather than that of a street person being tortured. It should be a guiding light, not a dread-filled drone.

Perhaps there are musicians whose voices might suit the innards of your Prius. Jewel, perhaps. James Taylor, no doubt. I rather like the thought of Kanye rhythmically keeping me on the straight and narrow.

But Dylan? I fear even he thinks he might be taking a wrong turn with this one.

You see, he's already started with the jokes too. For he told his listeners: "I probably shouldn't do it, because whichever way I go I always end up at one place: Lonely Avenue."

Could we really ever trust the chap who once told us: "There must be some way out of here"?

Perhaps you have some suggestions about whose voice you would prefer to Dylan's in your car?