Donald Trump has insulted how many objects on Twitter? Guess
Technically Incorrect: Someone, somewhere had to compute the sheer number of objects of Trumpian scorn. It was The New York Times and it keeps computing.
Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
"You dumb, weak dummy!"
This article may be out of date the very second it runs.
Many people are saying that Donald Trump is a Twitter genius.
Among those people is surely Donald Trump. Yes, the same Donald Trump who knows our complex tax laws better than anyone and who is also the king of debt has proven time and again that with just one tweet he can rouse the world.
True, he might rouse much of that world to toss pitchforks in his direction, but that's part of the art.
You will have wondered, however, how many people, places, things or even supranational deities Trump has scorned on Twitter in his time at the tweeting top.
I am grateful, therefore, to the dogged, punctilious and, um, failing New York Times for collating the objects of Trumpian snorting into one easily digestible page.
Trump has insulted (at least) 281 people, places or things on Twitter. Actually, it's probably more as the list keeps being updated and Trump keeps insulting. The list does also enjoy the addendum: "Some names may be omitted."
It should be noted that while the list has been in the works for a while, the Times on Monday devoted two pages of its old media print edition to highlight the compilation of new media digital insults.
I should also underline that this list only covers the time since he declared his candidacy for Caudillo Of All The Americas. I'm sorry, I mean for president of the United States.
This therefore excludes the millions of people who were termed "losers and haters" in a 2013 Trump tweet that read: "Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -- and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault."
In the Times tabulation, Trump's insults of Hillary Clinton represent a list as long as an NBA center's arm. The list of insults aimed at Megyn Kelly is nothing to sniff at. "Very bad at math," must have really hurt.
T-Mobile CEO John Legere gets two mentions: "focus on running your company" and "try hiring some good managers." Yes, this from a man who's had how many campaign managers?
CNN enjoys great presence as, remarkably, does Fox News. Sample aimed at CNN: "Not very professional." Sample aimed at Fox News: "Not very good or professional."
Trump, you may conclude, is a fair and balanced Twitter troll.
I have pored over this list and found myself depressingly bored.
It's not that I don't appreciate the sheer scale of the spittle.
It's that there's so little verbal felicity that, if you recorded the rantings of the drunk at the end of the bar for a whole weekend, I fancy you'd end up with similar vocabulary, spiced only with the color of F-words.
"Dumb," "dopey," dummy," "failed," "weak," "BAD!," "Sad!," "mess," "stupid," "terrible" and "phony" rather characterize the full tonal qualities of all this sweaty Trumpian tweeting.
It's all so out of character for someone who insists he has the best words.
Does he, um, dummy himself down for Twitter? Or is he a weak, bad, sad, terrible, stupid, phony mess?
A lot of people are asking that question right now.