Aren't you tired of politicians who cuddle wives to whom they're unfaithful, just to get elected?
Aren't you weary of their promises to care for you, defend you, and listen to you, when you know, the minute they're in office, they'll just line their bellies and pockets with pork?
May I therefore present congressional candidate for Montana, Matt Rosendale?
No cuddling on camera for Rosendale. No empty rhetoric about family and religion. Instead, Rosendale shoots from the hip. Or, rather, from the shoulder.
He believes that one of electors' greatest concerns are drones. Not ones sent by Amazon to deliver your favorite cookies or crime thrillers.
Rosendale is more worried about drones sent by the government to spy on you.
I'd rather thought that the government had other, cheaper methods for this. However, Rosendale demonstrates in his campaign ad how he'd look from a "government drone."
"And this is what I think about it," he says. He then places the rifle into his no-doubt muscular shoulder and shoots the drone from the sky.
"Spying on our citizens?" he says. "That's just wrong."
Montana doesn't currently allow law enforcement to use drones without a warrant. But soon we're all going to be terribly confused about whose drone is flying above us.
If it isn't Amazon, it'll be a news team, desperate to capture footage of a car accident or a stray sheep.
There again, it could be a neighbor wanting to protect their property from other neighbors (who might have their own drones.)
Some might imagine that Rosendale is a typical Republican candidate showing off his guns so that the voters just can't quit him.
However, Senator Dianne Feinstein, a renowned Democrat and chairwoman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, explained recently that a drone had hovered outside her San Francisco home during, oddly enough, a protest against government surveillance.
She believes in regulation of these flying beasts.
You see, there is something Democrats and Republicans can agree upon.