"The real reason robots aren't going to steal your job"
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The real reason robots aren't going to steal your job
Robots are flipping your burgers, herding your livestock, and rolling into your nightmares to steal your livelihood.
But wait a minute, are robots actually coming after your job?
If I want to take anything from Terminator, and I think we can categorically say that I didn't, is that robots came here to steal our future and punish us for our terrible hair decisions.
But researchers say that they're going to get rid of 800,000 jobs by the year 2030.
Robots are working on our production lines, they're stealing our long shifts and doing the jobs that we don't want to do.
As red blooded humans it's our G-d-given right to work in menial jobs riddled with occupational hazards.
Our teenagers deserve to work in the fast food industry, turning up hungover, getting our coffee orders wrong, and spitting in our burgers.
And what about Little Jimmy?
Do you wanna be the one to tell him that he's lost his 16-hour-a-day dream job working in the opium mines because of robots taking that job?
Also, no one even asked if robots want our jobs.
Do they wanna turn up to the same office every day just to watch Cathy from HR get that promotion, even though you've been working so hard and you did the optional orienteering afternoon?
At the team building retreat last year.
Robots don't wanna work as all waiters and concierges.
They wanna do what they were programmed to do.
Slowly rendering humans obsolete through AI and mind control.
Not overtime and passive aggressive email chains.
So a robot took your job.
Well I hope its happy crying in In the supply and hoarding stationary for night classes at computer school because if you don't [UNKNOWN] you'll never survive the next round of redundancies, Claire.
I'm Claire Riley for CNET and everything is fine, just fine.