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The CNET Astrology ReportGet advice for your digital lifestyle from The Mystical Altair's tech horoscope.
>> Welcome to the CNET Astrology Report. I am the mystical Altair. I will use my knowledge of the stars, their emotions, and the command line to bring you advise on your idiot lifestyle. Oh, Aries, you really need a smart phone. I know you don't like your older sister, but she's right. Get the Pearl. Taurus. Quit the P to P. You won't get sued, but it's killing your PC's performance. Shut it off. [Inaudible] -- check that Web-feed again, Gemini. See, it's actually more expensive than a regular [Inaudible]. Ha. Cancer. Yes, a new TV is in the stars for you. But don't rush. Wait for a sale. Leo. Check your Spam filters because important e-mail is getting lost in there, my friend. Virgo. You can come across as pleasant and charming if you just stop typing in all caps! I know grandpa needs a new PC, Libra, but he will be fine with your friend's old one, and it will save you money. Scorpio. You, a dark room, and Quicken. I see great things. Oh yeah, Sagittarius, let me put aside your worries. There is no Nigerian prince. It's okay. Capricorn. Check the circulars. You can get a huge external hard drive for very cheap. Aquarius. Before you quote Wikipedia, find a second source. You'll thank me, [Inaudible] and social networking is going to do great things for you, Pisces, just make sure to include your significant other, hmm? That's all for now, and that's enough, you greedy tech people, you. Come back next time for guidance from beyond. >> Altair's mystical guidance is not based on actual science or technical evaluation. And should not be taken as guaranteed tech-buying advice. For that, go to cnet.com, and read the reviews. Altair's not an actual astrologer, nor is that actually Altair's name. Void where prohibited.