[NOISE] Fasten your seatbelts, please.
I'm about to take a look at a $500 toaster.
Hi, I'm Andrew Gibhart for CNet.
Today I'm taking a look at the KitchenAid Pro line four slice toaster.
So, again $500.
And this is a toaster.
All it does is make toast.
For that some of money, you could buy a new laptop, you could make a down payment on a used car, you could get an entire oven range, or craft a makeshift shelter out of 16 Hamilton Beach toasters, but nope, one $500 toaster.
And that's what it does, it toasts.
I mean, here's the fun part.
This $500 behemoth doesn't toast any better than the $30 Hamilton Beach classic chrome toaster.
It's no faster, it cooks no more evenly, in fact, it consistently undercooks your toast.
If you view burnt toast as a terrifying natural disaster.
This thing might work for you but otherwise be prepared to run through a cycle or two to get well done toast or even medium done toast.
And forget about thick slices or thick breads.
With those on medium it didn't even dang to brown it at all.
You're paying 500 bucks and you're getting an underpowered machine.
Sure, it looks like an airplane but it toasts like a wuss.
Now it does have some nice features to go along with its designer style.
Once you put in the bread, it'll pleasantly ding and automatically lower it for you, saving you from that oh so laborious task of pressing down a lever.
However, I actually found that more annoying than helpful in practice.
Sure, it's cool to show off.
But I like to get my bread centered, and have my presets pressed before I start the toasting cycle.
With this guy, I always had to cancel it, and get everything set again, and then push it back down.
That said, because it senses the weight of the bread, if you don't come get your bread right away after it finishes toasting, it'll sense that it's still in there and after 45 seconds, lower it back down and keep it warming for you.
Honestly, that's pretty great, and I kinda wish all toasters had the same feature.
But that's about the only clear cut advantage you get from this guy.
If you love toast as much as I do, maybe splurging a little bit makes sense.
If so, I recommend spending $100 and getting either the Frigidaire Professional or the Cuisinart Loverless.
I don't recommend spending $500, not on this guy.
For more please be sure to check out my full review and all of our other toaster and appliance reviews on CNET.com.
It's now safe to move about the cabin.
For CNET, I'm Andrew Gebhart.