Buzz Report
Hi, I'm Molly Wood, and welcome to the Buzz Report! This week, Yahoo's the belle of
the ball, YouTube protects the children, and Websites that can't handle the heat.
First, though, it's the Gadget of the Week.
The Gadget of the Week is the just-announced Nokia N97. It's kind of a cross
between an ultra high-end smart phone and a Netbook. Looks like a pretty big
phone, it's got a slide-out QWERTY keyboard with a tilting screen. It's designed for
use with social networks and it takes advantage of your location to update your
various status reports or let you post geo-tagged videos. It's got WiFi and GPS and a
five-megapixel camera. It's 3G, but it doesn't work on AT&T or T-Mobile and we
don't know when it will be released in the U.S. It costs about seven hundred dollars
unlocked and the iPhone still wins. I'm sorry! I want something else to win, but the
iPhone is still winning! Big, expensive, and unavailable does not cut it, people!
Cripes!
And now for the news. This week, there were some very short-lived rumors that
Microsoft might be interested in Yahoo again. The rumors faded fast, but they were
apparently enough to get another suitor interested. Former AOL CEO Jonathan
Miller is reportedly trying to raise about $30 billion dollars so that his venture
capital firm can buy Yahoo outright. Analysts say it's a longshot. Miller would need a
LOT of outside investment, which could be tough to come by in these troubled times
(flash "DRINK" on-screen), and also ... dude. I know Yahoo probably looks good to
you because the guys are all over her all the time, but you get up close, and you'll see
that that chick is BUSTED. Seriously. Run the other way, man. RUN.
YouTube is trying to spice DOWN its image. The Google-owned video site reported
that it's changing its policies around "mature" content to restrict content that's
considered "sexually suggestive." You'll have to enter your age before you can watch
it which means that anyone capable of basic math should be able to figure out the
right date.
YouTube also announced its new project, the YouTube Symphony Orchestra.
They're inviting musicians from around the world to send tapes of themselves
performing and the winners will get to perform at Carnegie Hall. Really? Orchestra?
Because the ... ok. I know YouTube is trying to figure out a way to compete with Hulu
and sites like it, but ... if you're trying to be like ... popular? May I humbly suggest
that um ... porn is better than horns?
In other news this week, Monday was "cyber Monday," where apparently everyone
who didn't shop online last Friday or any other day of the year fired up their mouse-
fingers to hunt for deals.com. I don't know what was more astonishing -- the fact
that even though they KNEW Monday was Cyber Monday, dozens of HUGE Websites
buckled under the traffic, including Microsoft's cash-back program ... or the fact that
people have to be TOLD to shop online on a specific day. You know ... the Internet is
actually open ALL THE TIME. Sheep.
And speaking of Clogging the Tubes, let's have a look at what's Clogging the Tubes
this week. It's Dr. Pepper backwash ... er, I mean, backlash. Apparently, Dr. Pepper
promised everyone in America a free soda if Guns and Roses released its new album,
Chinese Democracy, this year. I guess that's some kind of promotion, although it
sounds kinda snotty to me. Anyway, shockingly enough, the album came out, after
17 years in development, Dr. P. gave people 24 hours to go to its website and print a
coupon for the soda, the site's servers collapsed under the pressure, people didn't
get their soda, and they blamed Guns and Roses and now GNR is threatening to SUE
unless everyone who wants a free Dr. Pepper gets a free Dr. Pepper. Yeah. This is
IMPORTANT stuff, here. People ... need ... their pepper.
I'm Molly Wood and this has been the Buzz Report. Thanks for watching.
