Hi, I'm Molly Wood, and welcome to the Buzz Report � the show about the tech news
that everybody�s talking about. This week, it's slow, slow Internet and no one is in
charge of it at all. But first, it's the Gadget of the Week.
Let's begin with the Gadget of the Week.
The Gadget of the Week is the NEWTON 2! a.k.a. the Apple tablet. Heaven help us. Now, I've been trying
to ignore this rumor mill, but it is now, officially, impossible. This week, iLounge posted 10 tidbits about
the device, saying it's 80 percent likely to come to market if Steve Jobs gives it the green light. iLounge
also said it'll be announced on or about January 19, it'll be like an oversized iPhone, and it might run the
iPhone OS. Plus, Apple recently hired back a guy who worked on the original Newton. Tablet CITY, babies.
Except ... let's remember that Steve Jobs killed the original Newton, he's the guy in charge of deciding
whether Newton 2 here makes it to market, and he's pretty smart. So, he's probably already figured out
that no one would buy it, because no one ever buys tablets.
Unless it's the Courier. Now that looks cool.
And now for the news. Big developments this week in the arena of who controls the Internet! It's not the
U.S. anymore. According to an agreement this week, the U.S. Commerce Department will no longer have
direct oversight over ICANN, which is the body that assigns and regulates domain names. ICANN will
become an independent body. Totally in control. Well, sort of. See, there will be this accountability panel
that will keep an eye on things over there, and the U.S. will still have a seat on that accountability panel.
But then there will be these like, independent review panels that will oversee ICANN operations. With
people from all different countries and varying agendas and no like, one country or organization really in
charge, exactly, and ... it's kind of. Huh. You thinking what I'm thinking? Hell in a handbasket.
Oh, I'm just kidding. It's fine. It'll be fine. Mostly in Chinese, probably. But fine. It's fine. Just don't forget.
We invented it.
In other news this week, Microsoft released its free security suite, called Security Essentials. The move
caused makers of for-pay security software, like Symantec and Trend Micro, to get downright nasty in
response. I mean, of course they're not happy about Microsoft putting out free security software that
threatens their business. But man. SNARKY! A Trend Micro general manager said, "you get what you pay
for," and then Symantec's VP of marketing said Security Essentials was a "poor product" and wanted to
know, "when was the last time that Microsoft innovated?" Sounded like the comments section of Digg up
in there. But you know what, guys? You can do all the high school-style sniping you want. But Security
free, and it's from Microsoft. People are gonna use it. Microsoft is the prom king. Live with it.
And now for entertainment news. The Facebook movie will begin filming next month in Boston! It's called
"The Social Network," and will reportedly be in production on the Harvard campus for about three weeks
before moving back to L.A. Aaron Sorkin of "The West Wing" wrote the screenplay, and it's being directed
by David Fincher of "Fight Club." I'm hoping there will be some fast walk-and-talks, and some major ass-
kicking by a totally hot imaginary Brad Pitt. Because, otherwise? It's a movie about a dude who made a
And finally, bummer news from the FCC. According to them, the broadband Internet speeds we're getting
are WAY slower than what we think we're buying. See, the agency has been working on its national
broadband plan, and they're putting out some initial findings. And those findings say that actual
broadband speeds are often 50 to 80 percent slower than ISPs advertise. Yeah. It's funny how no one ever
gets in trouble for that.
The findings also say it will take billions of dollars of infrastructure investment to build broadband
networks that can handle all the people who will want to do high-bandwidth activity in the coming years.
But that shouldn't be a problem, in my mind. After all, I pay a LOT to get 50 to 80 percent slower
broadband than I expected. A LOT. Don't be telling me you don't have any money to build me up my
broadband. Get to it, ISPs.
And that's the Buzz Report for this week, everyone. I'm Molly Wood, and thanks for watching.