CNET Top 5
Worst downloads of spring 2009Spring has brought us a bumper crop of bad software downloads.
Welcome to CNET Top 5, where each time we meet, we count down another hot CNET list. I'm Tom Merritt. It's that time again, where we check in on the worst downloads submitted to CNET's Download.com. Peter Butler has been released from the burdens of this exercise and we hear he is convalescing nicely at the sunny green estate where he has been committed. Bravely filling his shoes is the fearless Seth Rosenblatt. Dare we look at what he found? Let's count down the Top 5 Worst Downloads for Spring 2009. At No. 5, Internet Speed Up, Bandwidth Saver and Offline Proxy. Saying the name leaves us little time to tell you why. Suffice to say, it's smoke and mirrors. Or, as Seth says, your money would be better spent if you set it on fire. Coming in at No. 4, Skin Analyzer. How, you ask, could a piece of software help you improve the health and beauty of the largest organ in the human body? The answer? Links to skin care products! People, you can get those doing a Google search. You don't need an app. Up to No. 3, Whack-A-Gnome. The description for this app is what impressed Seth. Words like Transpolyporter, Razzle Sprysprocket, Gnomeragan occur far more frequently than is usually considered acceptable in polite society. When the Warcraft-imitation words outnumber the English words, don't download. You'll end up nerfed. Sliding in at No. 2, Lotto Sorcerer 6.25. No, not a character from Whack-A-Gnome. The publisher claims it uses neural network techniques to look for nonrandom and weighted influences in prior lottery drawings. Actually, I think the Gnome description made more sense, now that I think about it. Before we get to No. 1, it's time for another LAME TOP 5 PRIZE. This 1.5-inch digital photo frame featuring the logos of the Consumer Electronics Association was given to me by the CEA for being a speaker on CNET's Next Big Thing Supersession. It and the 3-volt lithium battery to power it will be yours, if you are drawn from one of the first 10 people to tell me which was the Worst Download of Spring 2007. Go to blog.cnettv.com and answer in the post for this Top 5. All right. Let's get to our No. 1. The worst download of Spring 2009. At No. 1, it's...The Ultimate Virus. Or as Seth calls it, the Ultimate way to get your friends to shove you into oncoming traffic. It's a fake virus that hides the taskbar and desktop icons and makes your former friends think their computers are toast. If you live long enough, maybe you can follow it up by hiding your friend's insulin! Well, that's it for this edition of CNET Top 5. Check out Seth's blog post at Download.com for more insight into why these downloads were the worst. It's hilarious. You need to read it. And go to blog.cnettv.com for your chance to win the digital picture frame. I'm Tom Merritt. See you next time.