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Watch CNET's biggest sci-fi nerds review the film 'Valerian'Luc Besson's newest movie "Valerian" is not a bad movie, it's just not a good one.
You know it's kind of like Avatar if you like Fifth Element you know, like ya Lauraleen and I we could watch it on the beach together. Go see it. [MUSIC] Okay if you got this See the new movie Valerian by Luc Besson, who did Fifth Element. And Leon the Professional. And now he has this movie called Valerian based off a French comic book. It started in 1967, which was really surprising to me. Now they're making the movie. Going into this movie not knowing much about it. But the central story is there's a character named Valerian and Laureline. One big part of it, which actually I think both you and I What kind of bunker score was the opening, [INAUDIBLE] it starts basically in 1975 and [INAUDIBLE] like from the international space station being built through this massive thing called alpha, which is so big, it's like A city of a thousand planets is that what Yeah a city, I think that's the subtitle here, we should probably Right. Figure that out and post. Valerian city of a thousand planets I think it is. Then we meet these bikini clad. Na'vi. They're the Na'vi. They're like this movies Na'vi. The Na'vi yeah. And you're sitting there and it's a CGI kind of like, alien. This whole sequence is CG and that's what they're trying to do here. They're trying to set up the story, but at the same time I'm like Why do I care about these aliens? But I gotta say, the CG kind of threw me off too. The CG it was fine, but it looked like a video game cut scene to me. So we go space oddity sequence, video game sequence [UNKNOWN] to we meet our main characters. Agent Valerian, you'll be running solo. [SOUND] I only work with my partner. Hi. We're a team. [SOUND] Let's go. Neither of them are the most likeable characters. They are not easy to like. But they kind of establish Valerian as this kind of womanizer character right off the bat, right? And, they also establish very early on, Lorelei likes him just as much as he likes her. There is no tension. I agree. I didn't care for them. And what sucks is they're the main character, I don't know if it was the casting. I forgot to say that. You did not care either, and that goes back to that chemistry. Because I would establish some of that chemistry that we kind of lacked, because I felt like we didn't see the fun part of their relationship really. 70, 80 That leads me straight into a wall. You said you wanted the shortest way. I really liked her though. I thought she was well cast in that role. She was good. She was in Suicide Squad. Which I didn't like then For the enchantress. And I didn't like her in that movie. She wasn't a great character by any means, but she was definitely better than he was. I felt like, I think I told you this before, we felt like he was channeling young Keanu Reeves. Hey, Lorelei. I can't do this, we got a playlist for this. Want to drive? Put your hands back on the joystick. Put your hands back on the joystick! My arm is stuck in the box, Lorelei. He was like that, wasn't he. There are some surprise cameos. The biggest one, Rihanna. Rihanna, yeah. My theater started clapping as soon as she, [LAUGH] it happened right in the moment I don't really care what's happening, and then Rihanna shows up on screen, and okay, I"m intruged. What's gonna happen here? And she had a wonderful performance. One more thing I wanna mention, Clive Owen, cause he's in the movie. Love Clive Owen! Clive Owen is great, a great actor. Why is he in this movie? I don't know. He's totally wasted in this movie. He's totally wasted in this movie. I loved all the alien characters, and there were so many different kinds. And they really did Do the job affect making them, trying to make them different, trying to make them creative. There was a three ant-eater looking dudes. What were they? Yeah, there were called the pigeons. No no no. It's to avoid such situations. But all of our information. Is to hide it three ways. Kill one of us. And you kill the information. What a pity that would be. And that right there is [UNKNOWN] like sci-fi weirdness at it's best. Yeah, for sure. Patrick, who would you recommend Valerian to? I would recommend you go see Valerian if you really like fifth element or Lucy, the last movie he did. It's got that camp and weirdness to it, and I would watch this again just to see the visuals. So the visuals I thought were pretty amazing, and I'd like to sit back And at the time enjoy that. I would only recommend seeing this if you, like seriously, if you can see this in Dolby Cinema, you can see this in IMAX, and you haven't seen Spider-Man: Homecoming, you haven't seen the new Planet of the Apes movie, and you're burning a hole in your wallet. You just want to go out and see something that's not some kind of genre film. Then yeah, you know, if you can see this in matinee, go ahead and check it out. If you're really curious. That's my recommendation. After seeing those other movies. After seeing those other movies, right. Maybe see those other movies a couple of times, and then be like okay, well I'll go see Valerian maybe. If you have money left. Yeah, exactly. I see how it works.