The Buzz Report
The Orange TacoCooley's in for Molly this week and he's worried that Obama could soon be a dork.
>> Now, from the number one on-air and online information source for the digital age. Phones that make you want to stop talking. Stores that make you want to stop shopping. And the orange taco. Welcome to The Buzz Report. I'm Brian Cooley, in for Molly Wood, who's out working on a new kind of artificial intelligence. She's drinking. First, the gadgets of the week. The president, of course, needs a very advanced smart phone, one that meets stringent government standards for a secure connection. There are two. Oh, dear God. They're going to make Obama give up his BlackBerry for one of these? The General Dynamics Sectera Edge or the L3 Guardian? Can you really imagine the fifth youngest and first hippest president in history carrying something that looks like an orthopedic shoe with an antenna? All right, so say the Taliban intercept a couple presidential e-mails? How bad could it be? Of the millions of photos taken of the inaugural, none can beat this satellite image taken by GOI1 high overhead. Those massive swarms of ants? Those are actually us, spectators, or people lining up for unemployment. Oh, and look real close. Three rows behind the podium on the left, you can just make out John McCain. He's missing a shoe. Ewe, this one is ugly. This week, Belcan admitted one of its staff was paying users, like you and me, to post fake glowing reviews of Belcan gear on Amazon. The product people were paid to pimp was this F5 U301 Cable 3 USB thing. Guys, if you're going to insinuate your reputation, at least do it over something people care about. Anyway, Belcan has since cleaned house, and the fake reviews are gone, which actually bothers me, because that means this little orange and gray Neoprene phone, taco-shaped, whatever the hell it is from Belcan, got its perfect five score from ten real users. We deserve to be lied to. Oh, Circuit City was a fun place to be this week. Chain-wide liquidation sales made many stores about as pleasant as Michael Vick's backyard. We heard tell of long waits to get any help at all buying a limited choice of products at surprisingly stingy discounts herded over by disinterested and unqualified employees. Sounds to me like they're still in business. Finally, here is a look at what's clogging the tubes this week. The inauguration, of course. Look at this noble list of top 100 Google search terms for January 20th. Obama, inauguration, Biden, White House. This must be a first. Not one top ranking search from Google all day for Britney or Jennifer Lopez ass or anything related to world of war craft. For one day, we rose above our petty indulgences to seek out the meaning of a unifying moment. Oh, wait a minute. Minka Kelly pics was number 40 ahead of live inauguration. Number 67, Macy's lawsuit beats NPR? Number 94, Estee Lauder advanced night repair ahead of list of presidents? I hate us. That's The Buzz Report. I'm Brian Cooley. Don't worry, Molly's back next week. ^M00:03:39 [ Music ]