The Buzz Report
The fudging iPad fudging comes outThe Scarface school play inspires us, and the iPad bores us while we get shot at the movies.
Hi, I'm Tom Merritt, and welcome to the Buzz Report, the show that is not ever an April Fool's Joke. This week, the iPad cometh, a video game device that lets you feel bullets, and the cutest fudging kids you've ever seen. First, it's time for the Gadget of the Week. The Gadget of the Week is the iPad, much mocked on this show, but has pretty much driven out every other gadget from risking a debut this week. My take on the iPad? People will be buying it for the same reason you want to date that mysterious person who looks cool but keeps to themselves and never lets anyone too close. You want to find out what's going on behind the beautiful facade? Will they totally change your life in ways you never could have imagined? Or are they a shallow introvert with no social skills. We'll know soon. I'm going on my first date with iPad in two days. Call me like halfway through in case I need an excuse to return it. And now for the news. The iPad comes out! Also, University of Pennsylvania researchers have developed a tactile gaming vest that allows a player to feel gunshots and stabbings as they play a video game. Four solenoid actuators provide the bullet-like feelings and vibrating eccentric-mass motors clustered against the shoulder blades deliver the stabs in the back. Now you can stab your friends in the back online and they'll actually feel it! Students said the device could be used for training or even for movies so you can feel the bullets as they hit actors. Excellent. Now when I see a movie that assaults my intellect and defiles my childhood heroes I can feel like I'm getting shot at the same time! In other news this week,the iPad arrives. Also a couple has modded a t-shirt that according to Engadget lights up when you have new email. You can't read or resspond to the email or even see who it's from. It just connects by Bluetooth to your phone and lights up when you get mail. Now that's some ingenious modding I have to admit. But I don't know about you but with the amount of spam I get that light's just going to be on. Next project-- having it delete spam by clenching your abs and reply to all by hugging yourself. Next the iPad is released by Apple. And so we need new Apple rumours. The Wall Street Journal filled the gap with not one but two! Not only will there supposedly be an iPhone HD announced in the summer with a front-facing camera, multi-tasking and everything. But also Apple is allegedly making a special iPhone just for Verizon. The rumoured Verizon iPhone will come with special features not seen in the AT&T version like continuous Internet connectivity and phone calls! And finally, let's have a look at what's Clogging the Tubes. It's kids with guns! These adorable tots are re-enacting Scarface as a school play. [[PLAY CLIP]] How fudging cute is that? Marc Klasfeld, director of videos for the likes of Lady GaGa and Beyonce revealed late Wednesday that he was responsible for the piece, dashing our hopes that some enterprising drama teacher had actually adapted Scarface for elementary school production. Sadly the elementary school parodied in the video had already received scads of angry phone calls from irate humourless literal Internet people. It wasn't real! Even before Klasfeld owned up to it, that was fairly obvious. Don't blame the fudging school that was parodied you fudging mother fudgers! And that's the Buzz Report for this week, everyone. Molly'll be back next week! I'm Tom Merritt, and thanks for watching.