"Ep. 1302: Where we make first contact"
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Ep. 1302: Where we make first contact
Sweet, I love Friday.
-I love it.
I love it, I love it.
July 12, 2013.
This is the 404 Show on CNET.
I'm Jeff Bakalar.
-I'm Justin Yu.
-I'm Ariel NuÃ±ez.
-What's-- Hi, everybody.
-How are you?
How are you?
Thank you for
putting your podcast machine on to our show.
We appreciate that.
Thanks for listening to us for all these years.
We really appreciate that.
-And we're damn proud of it too.
-And we're goddamn proud of it.
-I don't know if I would say that.
-Oh, all right.
I'll say it for you.
-But we got an email that was telling us to stop being so self-deprecating all the time.
You know we've been doing it for so long.
I didn't see that.
-We did that on the Scott Aukerman episode.
-No, but I mean I didn't see the email.
-Oh, you didn't.
It was just talking
about how we've accomplished so much and that it's the time for having a sense of humor about our self-deprecation is over.
-No, it's not.
-And now we need to--
-That's a false statement.
-We need to project ourselves.
-It's not to be funny.
We just hate ourselves, man.
-No, it's not.
No, we just hate you know everything about ourselves.
We hate who we are.
-So why you know--
-If you have hate about yourself freaking let it out, man.
Are you kidding?
-You don't hate yourself, right, Ariel?
-No, I love myself.
I would marry me if it was legal.
-I'm trying to be the positive voice on the show.
I thought you'd back
me up, Ariel.
-Apparently you're in Jeff's camp.
I mean like--
-So screw it.
-There's definitely a lot to be happy about.
You know we get into these like, you know, moments of depression, I think.
I'm not depressed.
-You're really happy.
We're going to Comic-Con next week.
-Yes, great for you guys.
-You're not going.
Ariel is not.
That's freaking depressing.
-So what the hell were you excited about?
Screw it then.
You wanna just stop doing the show.
-I don't wanna stop doing it, but I
wanna stop doing it.
-You want some chocolates?
That's just gonna make--
-We can eat our feelings.
-No, no, no, no, no.
That's the danger like we were excited that Vulcan gave us, you know, the chocolates yesterday but, you know, I'm not gonna lie.
That's like a one-way ticket to I'm sad town.
-You know because you just eat your feelings like you said.
-I think it's pronounced chocolates.
-Give me the chocolate.
-We gotta take those out of this room.
They need to be melted down and incinerated or
No, we're not upset.
This is great like the things have never been better for the show, and all kidding aside like our numbers have never been better either, which is even more depressing.
We're gonna change gears a little bit.
We're gonna get out of the self-deprecation for a second, and we're gonna talk to Ariel because he has more things to chime in about regarding yesterday's Jay-Z conversation.
So I think we ended with not liking the fact that he calls
his fans customers.
Like it's a sports team instead of saying fans calling them like disciple-- well not even like a disciple would be better like calling fans like, you know, pawns.
-Or something like that.
-And I get that.
First of all, I feel like I'm not doing my job as the hip hop representative here on the 404.
I feel like I've been saying a lot of negative things about hip hop, but it's only because I'm old and jaded.
-And I've been in the hip hop industry for a while and that's all that comes out of my mouth but okay.
to the Jay-Z thing.
So I don't know why I didn't think about this yesterday but-- so what he's really doing in the song is he's paralleling the rap game with the drug sell.
-So he's talking about, you know, shout out to my connect blah blah blah you know.
We know what that means.
-And then so his product is his music and we are his customers.
-Oh, that makes--
-You know what I mean.
-That makes a lot more sense.
He's not meaning to offend anybody.
-He's just paralleling--
-He's not referring to us as the customers that buy his records.
-It's more of like a metaphor.
-For like we can't get enough of his--
-You're buying my drugs.
-But that doesn't change anything.
-Well, no, because if anything it almost makes it worse because it's like you need me.
You know what I mean.
-Well, I don't think he's saying that though.
My problem was that he was like it came off as disrespectful.
-And when you watch interviews with him, he does talk about how everyone wants to be him.
-Yes, but it's true.
-I mean the thing is it's true.
-In fact to change places.
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
-You know I mean you can't be Jay-Z and say the things that you do without it coming off like you're conceited--
-Because he's done amazing things.
-And even him just listing what he does makes him sound conceited.
-Even though it's facts.
-Because it's such an achievement.
-He has so many of these achievements.
Then I don't think every single person who listens to him gets that though.
-No, apparently not.
-You know like even you took you 24 hours to be like oh wait a minute, this is all about, this is a drug
-Mainly because I haven't listened to that song in a long time, and you know I haven't really thought about it.
And yes, I was in a place where I was kind of like whatever, Jay-Z.
You know because he's--
-Because he's saying this whole thing like no rule or new rules, new rules, but my thing is no rules.
-Like there is no rules, you know.
-Plus I feel like a lot of rap music relies on that fantasy too, right?
Like you wanna project yourself into that position where--
-Like you have a lot of money and power and things like that, and a lot of times like we discussed yesterday, even the rappers themselves
don't achieve what they say they do.
-So it's more of a character that they play.
-Yes and we can't take any rap lyrics literal.
I mean since the 80's people were talking about how much money they had and no one had money in the 80's.
Everyone was poor then.
-I think people are more poor now though.
-There's a lot more poor people in the country than there was in the 80's.
I don't know the numbers there but that's what it feels like.
Well, from self-deprecation to the realization that
we're all poor to what else can we bring on this freaking Friday?
-Yes, but we will get to a bunch of voice mails.
-And if you are poor right now, you can be a little less poor if you enter our 404 SuperWeakness Contest which is alive and kicking with 200 entries already.
Make sure you head over to CNET.com/the-404 for your chance to enter to win $404.
We have to do that.
We're legally obligated to do that now for every show until the end of
-Just gotta get that out of the way.
What do we got?
Let's talk about an awesome new indie video game that I found yesterday.
-Oh yes, because you're the source for freaking indie video games.
Well, you tell me if you heard about this because I think it's really cool.
It's kind of a twist on your classic first person shooter, right?
-So if you guys don't know what first person shooter--
Who knows what that is?
The game is called Viscera Cleanup Detail, right?
And you know how normally you play whatever first person shooters, you're always kind of just
leaving things in your wake, right?
Like you're leaving blood and guts behind and you're blowing things up, but you never really think about who has to clean all that crap up, right?
There's gotta be a cleanup crew somewhere that has to mop up all the intestines you leave behind.
-Well, usually wherever you are that place is gonna explode anyway so--
-It sort of cleans itself.
-Right or it just disappears.
-Well, Viscera Cleanup Detail puts you in charge of the janitor that's tasked with cleaning up all the crap.
-That a shooter left behind.
-This is funny.
So like I actually have some gameplay about 5 minutes of it
so maybe we could put this up while--
-We talk about it.
-Yes, I would love that.
It's made by this indie developer named RuneStorm.
Please, dude, the real dirty work is what we're looking at right now is a guy with a power mop and he's cleaning up a bunch of messes.
There's blood everywhere.
There's blood on the ceiling, on the ground.
You clean up the mess caused by some unmentioned hero they never say that just saved mankind.
It's probably minutes after he just left the room and you're like, man.
-You know like oh I can't believe this guy.
-There's so much murder.
-Oh, he left me this big mess.
Now you get to see at any point.
Oh, he's gotta clean that mop a little bit.
-You get to see at any point pick up the bullet shells--
-Cleaning up gun shells, yes.
-That's actually pretty funny, but this is a joke.
This is like a--
You can't-- it's free to play but you can play it on the RuneStorm website.
-And yes, this is cool though.
I mean there's an interactive portion of it too because there's blood on the ceilings so you have to stack blocks in the room in order to climb up.
So there is some like actual puzzle element to it.
-Sort of and then you know you're--
-You should've pick up
That's so funny.
-You're mop gets dirty too so you gotta go and refill the water in your bucket and wring it out.
-There's to like there's your clean bucket.
Go and take it again.
-Oh, he's got like a Biohazard bucket for organs--
-That dismember that'd have to go into the bucket.
It's funny how he holds stuff.
-It just floats.
-Things just float a couple of inches in front of his fingers.
-But you gotta be careful because if you're walking past the bucket and you get too close, you can knock over the bucket which will create much more work for you.
-And that's a game over.
-This is really funny.
You should write this stuff for CNET, man.
This is good.
It's pretty good.
-Can you do that for me?
-Can you do my job for me?
RuneStorm created it in how many days do you think it took?
-Well, the environment is pretty complex.
-It's not, you know--
-It's got lighting and shadowing everywhere.
-Even that is fine.
That's all the lighting and shadowing get done you know with math and coding and stuff like that.
I don't know.
I mean how big is the game?
I'd say like a couple of weeks maybe.
I don't know.
took 10 days.
-I mean there's not a lot of levels or anything like that.
It's actually incomplete still but they put it up for you to play.
-Just by checking it out so put a--
-The graphics are pretty good all things considered.
-I like how it just splatters everywhere.
-Oh, it's funny because the mop gets so bloody that you can't sweep up anymore the blood until you clean the mop off.
That's how you know you need more work.
-And you never get to see the hero.
-Right, you never--
-I guess you are the hero.
You're the unsung hero.
You're the only one
There's no other people shuffling around you.
-You make this place livable again.
They should provide you with a Walkman and this set of headphones for you to listen to while you're working.
This is clever.
Oh, you could also drop-- I think at a certain point he accidentally drops the mop and then he drops some body parts too which creates more splatters for him to clean up.
-It's pretty funny.
Rock and roll.
Viscera Cleanup Detail.
-Go check it out.
Where did you find this?
On Vice, huh?
-So I didn't know that, you know, Vice has like a tech element--
You knew that?
It's where I found the story.
It's a great blog.
They have a lot of content there that you just don't get a lot from other websites.
You wanna get to some more depressing news?
I mean it's Friday.
-It's the 90's, right?
Let's do it.
-After 30 years of print, PC World Magazine is finally getting pushed out and they're going digital only.
It's not depressing.
-It's not depressing for you?
-I feel like every time we hear about one of these new magazines or one of these old magazines shutting down finally, a little part of me gets kind of depressed.
-Well, I mean--
-You know it happened with Game Pro Magazine?
We talked about that.
And it's gonna happen to all of them.
-I think PC World gets, you know, sad when Wired, when it happens to Wired--
-That's gonna be--
-The big nail on the coffin.
-I think with PC World the problems that they focused a lot are products, product reviews
and tech news.
-And stuff like that doesn't make sense because the PC World customer is someone who's tuned in to technology which they wouldn't be reading a magazine in the first place.
-It's constantly changing.
It's like printing out a website and mailing it to somebody.
-If they were smart though, they would've covered culture more which is what Wired does--
-Well, that's why--
-So that's why they still--
-And that's and you're 100 percent right.
That's why Wired has evolved into something that's so much more--
-Than product reviews and stuff like that.
They take the Rolling Stone, you know, angle and they turn these amazing
things into stories.
-So you know however long that lasts, we'll have to wait and see, but for PC World, yes.
It's like I'm gonna take computing advice from something that's arguably you know a month old already.
-Have you ever read an entire magazine?
-Well, has anyone ever read an entire magazine--
-Like cover to cover?
-That's gotta be the reason why magazines are just no longer in production anymore.
-Because people don't have the patience.
-And they want--
-It's the internet.
It's not because--
-Well, that's what I'm
-People are like I don't wanna read this.
-Yes, that's what I'm saying is that they would rather have the internet to create your own magazine as opposed to having someone just give you like a book basically on being like read what we want you to.
I mean you know I think people-- I mean I've definitely read a lot of them a magazine maybe like 10 years ago, maybe--
-On an airplane.
-Wherever you were where you had to just, you know, kill all this time.
And you know Silver Blade makes a good point in the chat room.
You know 60 percent of magazines are advertisements
I think the biggest casualty in all of this is the smelly cologne inserts.
-Whereas that, you can't replicate that on the internet.
-Man, I used to sort of--
-I'm gonna miss the hell out of that.
-I used to go to Barnes & Noble before every school dance in high school and just rub them all over myself.
That Acqua Di Gio, right?
-I can really picture you doing that.
-I did it.
-You should've just went to Macy's and just have the samples over there.
-There you go.
-That's way better.
-Where were you in high school, man?
I ruined so many magazines.
-Just doing that.
-Like what's that guy doing over there.
-You know what I really miss is the sound
of someone's sticky fingers turning a magazine though.
I really like that, that like-- you know what I'm talking about like when you're in a quiet like waiting room for a doctor's office or something you just hear that.
It's very soothing for some reason.
You know what I will never miss?
-Some dingle berry licking their fingers before they turn the page.
-It's so disgusting.
-It's worse when they deal with money too because money is dirtier.
-Money is filthy.
There's like so-- where was it?
Maybe it was a Wired article where they just took
like random bills and they found traces of like feces and cocaine and like all this other crap all over the money.
-And people are at the cash register licking their thumb counting a bunch of singles like this single like the total lower class citizen of the dollar bill of like the bill, you know, family.
-You know this singles the guy that like he's everywhere.
He goes everywhere.
He's inside vending machines.
He's like on the subway.
He's in the crotch of a stripper.
-And they're just like licking their thumb like-- here you go.
Here's your change
back, like throw up all over the place.
-Is that the sound you make when you're counting money?
-There you go.
It's just so gross.
Money is so disgusting.
I don't really think.
I do not believe there's a place for physical money in today's society.
-But there's some corporation out there that's like preventing the progress of the elimination of dollar bills--
-And stuff like that.
-Cool rant against dollar bills.
-I'm just saying like there's no reason we need physical money anymore.
-You tell those dollar bills what's up.
-They can all go to hell.
-I know what you mean though
and coins too like pennies, come on.
-I've taken away pennies before which is super arrogant.
But you're right.
Like I have like on my desk I have like a little jar and it's just pennies in there.
-And the jar is still worth the amount of pennies that are inside of it.
-I watched this video on how worthless the penny is.
-And they're saying it costs 1.8 cents to make 1 penny.
-Which makes sense, right?
How awesome is that?
-I don't get it.
-We're losing money just making them.
-And they're like let's not forget you know the amount of-- you're right.
It costs the 1.8 cents, but like think about all the freaking other resources they go into it like electricity and everything.
-It's totally insane.
-Well, why don't you just tell people to keep the change then?
Do you ever do that?
-I say keep the change, you filthy animal.
-That's what I say.
And they're like oh cool.
Home Alone reference.
Sweet, yes, yes.
No, it's absurd.
-And you know there's other countries that have like slowly eliminated the penny.
I think Canada had enough with it.
-They just round
up or down.
It doesn't matter.
Round up, I don't care.
I will gladly pay 2 dollars and 15 cents over 2 dollars and 11 cents--
-Any day of the week.
-Oh, my God.
Round it up to the dime.
Screw nickels also.
Round it up to the freaking dime.
These are ultimate first world problems we're talking about here.
-But it's not because it's-- you're right.
It is a first world problem, but it's like overall it is slowing down progress.
-Imagine how much time you would save by not having to wait for the cashier to count out your change every time.
-Well, it's whatever, you know.
I don't know.
Anyway, we're getting off topic here.
We're talking about the end of some magazines.
In this article--
-Oh, my God--
-There were a lot of-- just paper weight.
There were a lot of other magazines that I didn't realize stopped publishing.
-Yes because no one buys magazines anymore.
-No one gives a crap.
-That's why you didn't notice it.
-Did you know that Vibe shut down?
-Yes, I knew that.
-I didn't know.
-I knew about Blender.
-Blender, Spin magazine is no more.
-Spin is over.
-Newsweek of course, we've talked
about that before.
-What's gonna happen to-- what you might call it, now I lost it.
It's gonna happen to everyone.
This is what was most--
-It didn't happen to Time yet.
It didn't happen to Time.
Time is still publishing.
We still got that.
-But it will happen to Time.
It will happen to Wired.
It'll happen to everybody.
That's the saddest part.
But get this.
Playgirl stopped publishing magazines back in 2009.
-Because they're ahead of the curve.
I didn't realize that.
Wow, that's sad.
-You didn't realize that Playgirl was out of print?
-Wow, when I stopped getting the subscription though.
-Yes, because you subscribed to Playgirl.
-This is the-- yes, I don't know.
It makes me sad every time I hear about a new magazine like this shutting down.
-It's the way of the world, man.
-Kind of sad but then I also don't really care.
-It's like the same feeling I got when my mom sold the house that I grew up in.
You know like I was sad to see a piece of my past go, but I'm not there anymore so what the hell do I care.
You can't get attached to these things.
I do think the house is more significant than a magazine.
-Right, but it's just the way of the world, man.
-It does not make sense.
-What was your guys' favorite magazine growing up?
I know both of us read Wizard a lot.
-3, 2, 1 Contact.
-What the heck is that?
-Never heard of that.
-3, 2, 1 Contact.
-Oh, is that a hockey magazine?
It was a science magazine.
-You never heard of 3, 2, 1 Contact--
-I've heard that, yes.
-Is the answer--
-Oh, they had a magazine.
-To the future and the song ends.
-Are you making this up?
-No, I know that song.
You never heard that?
-I think you guys are trolling the area.
-Why don't you go look up on
YouTube the 3, 2, 1 Contact theme song.
-3, 2, 1 Contact.
-I thought it was just a TV show.
It was a TV show and it was a magazine.
The magazine seemed to be a little short-lived, but that magazine taught me a lot about like, I don't know, absolute zero and shit like that.
-The useful stuff.
They thought me like I remember there was an article like the Science Behind Jurassic Park and it was saying like well, this is how the, you know, the--
-Is this what the magazine
-No, no, no, no, no.
That's the TV show.
-That's the TV show but can you play the theme song--
-This is like the Verge.
-Because if I don't hear, yes right, the Verge totally ripped off 3, 2, 1 Contact.
Can we just listen to the theme song because once I hear it I'm gonna spaz out.
-I'm gonna start dancing.
-Let's see if I can bring this up.
-Can you bring that up for me?
It was really good.
It was really, really good.
And it was like they made it fun.
-It made it totally, totally fun.
Let's see if I could bring this up.
-Oh, is this it?
-Here it is.
-Can we see what it looks like too?
-Is this it?
How old are you, guys?
This was in the 60's.
1. Contact is the answer, it's the-- look at that.
You don't respect science?
-I respect it.
Kissing a baby is nice.
-It's the only thing that really
runs the world.
It's so freaking reliable.
Look at that, trampoline science, baby finger, pad science.
You love cats.
Look at that.
They chopped that apple in half.
-3, 2, 1.
-Oh, you can't-- oh that is--
-That's pretty cool.
-That is sick.
-That's very cool.
-Our new show needs like take that.
How come you didn't reference this when we're trying to figure out a logo for our show?
-How sick is that 3, 2, 1 Contact.
-Anyway, they wound up--
-Spawning off a
-And maybe it was just called like 3, 2, 1. Maybe it was just called Contact magazine.
I can't remember.
Does anyone in the chat room remember the actual magazine thing?
I don't know, but yes.
I have it pulled up on my screen.
Here we go.
-Show me what 3, 2, 1-- yes.
There you go.
That's an earlier-- I remember it beyond that.
I remember like they had a more modernized publication.
But man did I love 3, 2, 1 Contact.
That was cool.
-I love the show.
-I used to watch it all the time.
-That was like man, I'm so smart.
I'm like 6.
This is before Bill Nye The Science Guy.
-This was their science show.
-Bill Nye was like a little punk bitch before this came out, you know.
-No, this is great.
It's really awesome.
-Well, today you learned about 3, 2, 1 Contact.
-Yes, I like that.
-We totally nailed the song before we even heard it.
-It was like verbatim.
We were rocking out the 3, 2, 1. It was sick.
-That was back when all like the kid's shows had super funky like jazzy openings, you know.
shows they had educational value.
-Now it's all about like oh, you know.
Don't forget to scarf and barf you know when you were a kid or stuff.
They had like really bad messages now.
-I think it's funny that you guys can remember that down to the notes, but you can't remember like what we talked about on the show yesterday.
-Well, think about it, you know.
Well, you joked for like that was ingrained in our skulls.
-At such a young and tender age.
-And our brains just begging for knowledge.
what fed our brains.
Man, the 50's were crazy.
-It's was 1958.
-I'm actually surprised that Jeff knew this show because I feel like it's more my era.
-Oh, you're not that much older than me.
4 years older?
-Yes, I'm turning 35.
-Holy sh-- wow.
-No, 4 years.
-Is that a bad number?
-It's not bad number.
It's only half of 70.
first episode was January 14, 1980.
-So you were how old?
-I was 2 years old.
-You're 2 so I wasn't born yet.
-But it didn't end until '88 and I was 6 in '88, so I remember that.
-You know, the best is you know Wikipedia is a wealth of information.
Just wanna let you know the theme song, they list a theme song for 3, 2, 1 Contact?
-Just you know the theme song was 3, 2, 1 Contact theme song.
-That's what it was.
And it was on PBS.
-It was like come on right after what you might call it, Sesame Street, like they would do a sandwich thing and Sarah Jessica Parker was on 3, 2, 1 Contact.
-It's what I'm learning from the internet right here.
I don't remember her being on there.
Well, you said you didn't have like TV when you were a kid or something.
-No, I had TV.
I had just--
-Oh, you didn't cable.
-I never had cable.
So I watched a lot of like Alf.
-Which is you-- well, PBS was free.
I wasn't into learning when I was a kid.
just hated learning.
Wanted to just--
-You just wanted to eat your boogers and like--
-You know play piano.
-Or throw rocks at my neighbor and stuff like that.
I loved it.
-It just like, you know, upset old people.
-Like on the street you feel like you would just go in their lawn--
-Right, just eat Pop Rocks on their lawn.
-To piss them off.
-Right, exactly and drink like RC Cola.
Wear my hat backwards.
-On your scooter.
-It's sick, man.
Well, here's a little trip down memory lane for everyone who appreciate it.
Speaking of trips down memory lane, let's talk about sounds, more sounds that you just don't really hear anymore, and we don't really talk about buzz feed list because they're just so goddamn many of them, but this one is actually pretty good and hopefully make for some good radio because these are all sounds, 26 sounds that are almost extinct that you just don't hear anymore.
-Am I gonna not know any of these?
-Should I look at them?
-I think you can look at them.
It's not worthy of a contest because it's stuff like dial-up modems.
Sure, sure, sure.
-I'm gonna throw there rotary dial telephones of course.
-I kind of wanna play the dial-up modem just because I feel like we have a lot of listeners under the age of 18--
-Oh, my gosh.
They have no idea.
-Who probably have no idea what that is.
-The handshake of the 56K dial-up modem.
-So they know this and then yes.
-This sounded like the future--
Sounds so futuristic.
-I was like man.
Do you hear that?
-We're talking to aliens.
-There you go.
That was kind of a longer one, extended cut.
-Yes, yes, yes.
That's the extended cut.
-But you know what?
This is incomplete because that sound would always be followed by--
You got mail.
Thank you and then that door opening sound.
That's something you don't really hear any more like AIM noises.
-And this goes like the-- like AIM and stuff.
Go down in number 7, a phone literally ringing.
-Because there used to be bells inside phones.
-Well, the iPhone still technically does
-Doesn't sound like this though.
-But it's the artificial version of it.
-Can we hear it?
-Oh, there's a rotary phone?
-This is someone dialing the rotary and then it'll ring after.
-That's crazy, man.
Dialing a rotary phone.
You know along the same lines, another thing you don't really hear anymore is a busy signal.
Like I rarely hear busy signals or it's--
-And that's like a bell and a phone.
That's literally like a mechanical thing hitting--
-Like a brass bell.
Like a school bell.
-Small fire bell.
-You know what I like listening to is the sound of someone's call waiting clicking like very subtle.
I can't even do an impression of it.
-It's very-- I know exactly what you mean.
It's like this tap.
-You wanna take that.
-TV show audiences going off the all laugh track.
-Oh, like in a--
-Yes when as soon as Danny gets on one knee--
-And he goes over to Michelle, he puts his arm around Michelle and he's like, "Michelle, you can't wear a
swastika to kindergarten."
-And then they start playing that music and she's like, "But, Dad," and then the whole TV audience goes ah because you're gonna be grounded.
You little Hitler.
Cracking open a hardcover book's spine.
Wow, that's very specific.
-It's the collected Ernest Hemingway.
-Barnes & Noble edition.
You film that great.
-Never been opened.
-Let's hear it.
-So I'm about to do that right now.
-Let's hear it.
-Oh, my God.
That was good.
-That was good.
-Oh, smoke them if you got them.
-You know what's cool?
Do the film projector because the film projector,
that's huge because it's also, you know, not everyone growing up had a film projector in their house, but you sure as crap went to a movie theatre.
-And if you sat in the last row you could sometimes hear it.
-There it is.
-And that's-- yes.
It's crazy because you could hear that.
-Through the glass.
-You can never hear it.
-Yes, you could.
And now a lot of projectors are digital and so their wackadoo zeroes and ones projecting beautiful images on screen.
-I've never heard that before.
Is this when like the news reel started playing before every episode like our soldiers are out there fighting for the country.
That's exactly what it was.
-It's like when you were-- God, you are really old.
-I'm so much older.
-This is how old I am.
They showed this at school.
We had these at school like horrible projectors.
Me too for sure, 100 percent.
-And they got superhot.
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Oh my God.
They got so hot because the bulb that they would use for them, I don't know it gave off like a million watts.
It was like the hottest thing ever and you would like if you
were near it, you just could like stare through the display of where the light was coming out and they would look like the guest like lines because it was so freaking hot.
-You didn't have that in--
We had the overhead projectors but never like a film projector like that.
-These things were like made in the 40's.
-They were so hot to the touch you couldn't even go near it.
-And the film itself was really flammable, isn't it?
-Well, it's not.
It's flammable but it wasn't like overly.
It wasn't like more than--
-When it spontaneously combusts.
-Well, like paper super flammable.
-I think you know it's crazy.
This is super creepy but it's true.
Le Monde in the chat room says dude, the smell of the projector, they gave off this weird--
-Yes, they did.
-Probably lead tainted--
-That was very, very pleasing to the nostrils.
Just like that.
-It was probably because it contained cancer.
-Or something in it that was just awful.
-And then Schnods in the chat room says this is crazy.
When I saw the first
Matrix, the movie theatre was old and the film got caught in the gate and burned up.
-Have you ever been to a movie theatre where that happened?
You know the film would get caught and the light like we just said is so freaking hot, you know the film flies through at 24 frames a second so it doesn't have time to melt, but if it gets caught it stays there and the light melts the film right then and there.
-And you can still see the picture just melt.
-And you literally see like you know with the cigarette burns like they say in Fight Club and that affected that's literally, it would
like bubble up and go and just fart out.
-You guys didn't know that?
-You didn't know like that's-- you knew that was possible.
-I've seen the image before but I've never been in a theatre when it happened.
-It's like an effect.
They used it as an aesthetic.
-Learning all kinds of things today.
-I like this one.
Number 23 is loading a cassette into your Walkman.
-Like I love that like that mechanical sound.
That's the thing.
-For all intents and purposes is completely eliminated.
It's like the sound of typing on a loud keyboard too.
You don't really hear that anymore now that everyone has laptops, unless you sit around Justin Yu.
You're annoying as a freaking keyboard.
-You know that sound I really like that isn't on this list?
I wish I could--
-Sounds like Lord of the Dance song right here.
-And I type in rhythm too.
It's so absurd.
-The sound of like, you know, when you get dust on the record and the needle goes over it like the beginning part of it?
-The crackle thing.
You love that?
It's so old timey but--
You don't hear that anymore unless it's fake.
-What other sounds that you guys like on here.
Oh, a slideshow projector switching slides.
We kind of mentioned that.
We just learned how old we are today.
78 years old.
78 years young.
We got about 10 minutes left.
Let's hit up some voicemails, right?
We haven't done that in a while.
You guys have been very good at calling us up, making sure you're staying in touch with the program.
Keep doing it because
it's a lot of fun and let's get to some Calls from the Public right now.
-Time to show the love.
Calls from the Public.
Calls from the Public time, ladies and gentlemen.
We talked the week before the holiday about people entering like stores with on the phone and how rude that is.
Well, it makes sense that we would hear from someone who works in a retail store
like that has had experiences with rude customers whereas I like to call them assholes, and you know we'll hear this guy's experience and what he has to say.
This is Kansas from Vander.
You guys were talking about like talking on the phone and etiquette and everything.
I worked at a consumer electronics retail store and that's a lot of electronics people coming to me on the phone.
I'll accommodate them.
They're in a rush and it's a small item.
You don't need to have words.
Just give me the money, but when it comes to certain things and there are a lot of people that will come to my store and are very loud.
I will just stop everything and wait until they acknowledge me.
-Because they're expecting me to help them while they're on the phone.
Well, I'm not gonna help you until you acknowledge me.
It's a lot more polite that way because then and they're embarrassed because when they realize oh everybody's looking for me.
Get him on the phone.
All these people are behind me.
It's a lot easier to turn the table that way.
That's what I personally should've done instead of being really rude about it.
It's yes gonna get you fired and the company has to clean it up.
So love your show, guys.
I would imagine it's really tough working in retail like that, you
-As long as the retail clerk gets your first priority, I think you can be on the phone as long as you tell them like hold on or something, you know.
Like the person in front of you in real life should probably always get your attention first.
So yesterday we did have the rap discussion, right?
And everyone knows I'm like a big rap guy.
You know they're like oh--
-You're the rap encyclopedia.
I'm a human walking talking rap wiki.
I was Terror Byte.
-I've heard of it.
-You've heard of Terror Byte.
-That's before I was Air Butt.
-Like I bring the terror the ones and the zeroes.
So here's a buddy who wants to hear more of that I think.
It's Gave from Philly.
I'm just looking to you so it's 1301 and I just repeat myself listening to just talking about your rap artist.
You guys are awesome.
Keep up the good work.
-Yes because I know, you know, the streets need me.
got nothing but love for the street.
-You grew up on the mean streets of Marlboro, New Jersey, right?
-Yes where there's a lot of like Russian and Italian mafia and stuff.
-And that's where I, you know, that's where I, you know, fired my gat and what not, you know.
-You wanna thank your customers right now?
-I believe the streets, is what I'm trying to say.
-You know I got nothing but love for the streets.
-If you want it, I will totally recite any rap lyric you want me to do.
So if you want
to hear that.
-I'm gonna have to find some.
-You do that.
If you wanna write in and do it, I'll freaking--
-You don't think I'll do that?
-Spit some hot fire.
-I will go nasty and just recite all kinds of absurdities.
I don't wanna say like, you know, the bad words though.
-I mean I will.
I'm so tired I will totally say that.
I like totally do that.
I don't know.
-It's art you know.
Let's do that.
-Listening to you recite rap lyrics is like listening to Betty White recite like--
-Do an excerpt or something.
-Well, at least I understand what I'm reading.
-Like Betty White just thinks it's a different language.
I mean did you ever hear Betty White recite-- what was it?
Fifty Shades of Grey.
It's like that.
-Yes, for sure.
-It's the same discomforting feeling that I get when you recite rap lyrics.
-It's the streets, man.
That's what it does to you when you live on the streets, that you bleed the streets.
It's in you, man.
-Just so in
All that grass and the wide open spaces, you know, and like pick up roller hockey.
It's a tough life, man.
-The streets fear me.
-Finally, we have a guy and a gal who are visiting our city, New York City, and they need some advice, and maybe we'll try and help them out.
Let's hear it.
-Hey, 404 guys.
This is Rowley from West North Carolina.
Just calling in.
First of all, Jeff, I
I really hope you're back by the time you guys listen to this.
-I don't remember this part.
-If not, Justin, say this for Jeff.
I love you too, but I miss Jeff and I feel like I need both of your honest opinion on this topic.
So in about 2 weeks, my girlfriend and I are making a trip to New York City, and we're very excited, super pumped, and basically you know we're gonna see a good buddy of mine in high school and a few of his buddies, we're in for a good time, I believe.
basically what I need to know is what do I need to do to not look like a complete doofus to not look like just an idiot.
I don't wanna show up in New York City looking like the mayor of Dickville.
-So you know just let me know.
What do I need to do, what do I need to not do in order not to just stick out like a sore thumb, and also some pizza recommendations.
That'll be awesome.
Love the show and keep up the good work.
I'm kind of digging the sort of
You know you got Bridget.
You got the other people on there.
The variety is the spice of life.
-That's such a funny saying.
The variety is the spice of life.
-He brings up a good question though.
It's like how should tourists comport themselves when they get to New York to not seem like tourists.
Well, if you got a fanny pack, burn it.
-Because that's a dead giveaway.
It's very tempting.
I understand to like look up a lot and to me that's a dead giveaway.
The second your neck is beyond, you know, your shoulders and you get caught staring, that's what it is like to me and if you wanna do that, that's great and you should admire like I think we take it for granted.
There's unbelievable architecture in this amazing city, but don't do it while you're walking.
-Like if you wanna look up, park yourself on the side.
-Like that's the thing like never stop in the middle of the sidewalk.
-You can stop but just like pull over
to the side as you would with a flat tire on the highway.
-Then you could admire because if you just do it with your backpack and your fanny pack, gonna hit you in the back of the head.
-I'm just gonna slap you right there.
-I think that's a good rule for anything you do in New York is don't get in other people's way.
-Because it's so easy to do that.
I think like another example is if you're gonna ride the subway which you probably will if you're in New York City, don't block the subway doors when people are trying to leave or when people are trying to enter, right?
And then go
all the way in like packing in as tightly as possible.
-You know like I hate people that go into the subway and they'll just stand right where the doors are.
-You know because that effectively blocks everyone else, you know.
If you're in first, you gotta go to the middle.
Well, the etiquette is if you're waiting on this platform and the train pulls in--
-You stand to the side of the door to let people out first.
-And then once they get out, you go in.
-But then you can't just like--
-But don't be that asshole that stands at the side right at the door so you could get out first.
-That's really rude.
-Unless you're-- I mean--
-And for God--
-Depends on how empty the train is too.
-But also give up your freaking seat if there's a pregnant woman or an old person in front of you.
Don't do that.
-I've seen so many people just pretend like-- I mean New York the key to success is just to pretend you don't see people I know about especially when you're on the subway.
Don't you dare smile at any one.
-But if there's a pregnant woman in front of you, get your ass up, right?
If her pregnant belly is in your face--
-That usually means you should probably get up, although there's an entire generation of mostly the baby boomers--
-Who are kind of bitter over the fact that when they were pregnant 30, 40 years ago--
-They were not given the same sort of treatment.
Maybe so on the trains and stuff like that.
-But if you go to like other places where there's like pregnant parking now and stuff like that like they were never afforded those luxuries.
-So what I'm basically saying is treat pregnant people like crap.
-They didn't do anything.
-All they did was bone, right?
Of course not.
You've gotta respect the pregnant people.
Are you kidding?
-One more thing that I really, really hate is upstreaming, right?
-Oh, with taxicabs?
So you're probably gonna forego the public trans to take a taxi.
-Let them do it.
-Because I hate that, and when you do it make sure that no one else is hailing a cab in front of you and that's where the road
upstreaming comes from is when you see someone in front of them like half a block or something--
-But there's gotta be a threshold like you can do it with a block.
-A block, 1 block is the minimal amount of distance you can take before it's not upstreaming.
-That's Greek to them.
They're not gonna understand what we mean by that.
-Just don't jack anybody.
-Because someone will slap you in the back--
-If you get held up, fight them.
-And don't touch anything here.
If you get held up, pull out your gun.
-And then, you know, get into a gun fight--
-In Times Square.
What other advice do we have?
So is the pizza.
-There's so many pizza.
There's Ray's and Tony's and Lombardi's and Grimaldi's and there's a bunch.
Just don't go to one where it's a chain like if you recognize the name on the front other than the ones we just said, don't go there.
-Richard told me that when he first came to New York on a visit, he decided to go to a pizza spot and the first one he saw
-Oh, my God.
-In Times Square and he decided to go to Sbarro and when he got back he told his brother, oh man.
I had the best pizza.
-And his brother was like--
And his brother was like are you serious?
-There's a mall half a block away from the house that has Sbarro.
Are you joking me?
-My favorite is Joe's.
Joe's pizza on Carmine St.
-That's my favorite.
If you ever seen the original Spiderman where he works as a pizza delivery guy in the first scene--
-That's where he works, yes.
-That's where he works and in my opinion has got amazing pizza.
-There's a lot of really great pizza.
I'm trying to think of one where there's like a chain within New York that's good, but there's--
-A chain in New York?
-Yes, like just within the--
-Oh, Two Boots is good.
Two Boots is good for like exotic sort of stuff.
-They have a cornmeal crust.
-That's really great and they have multiple locations.
-But don't go there first.
Go to a freaking brick oven or a regular oven pizza place.
Maybe a little dirty.
You know you want it a little dirty.
If you don't, you know, you look at the pies in the glass.
If they look a little old, stay away.
-That sort of thing.
-You're gonna-- honestly.
You'll enjoy any pizza you have--
-When you're here.
-Pizza is good out here.
-Oh, what about you, Ariel?
You've been here for a little while now.
Is there anything that really annoys you about the tourist that you see on the street?
-You guys mentioned most of them, but I would say one thing to not give yourself away as a tourist is don't carry a physical map.
-You know like you don't see this as much anymore but I still see people carrying like the physical maps.
-But you could keep it on your iPhone and don't be too afraid to look like a tourist either.
-Oh, of course.
-That's really a good point.
-Yes because like I mean everybody is always looking at their phones and like even people that live here for a while still don't know their way around places.
-Just don't be too afraid to look like a tourist.
-And never really-- I mean and I think it's okay to ask somebody.
-You know I think you're not gonna really--
-I ask people all the time still.
-Yes like where am I you know.
Or which way is south.
That's the thing like I think and what is it?
So the even streets mostly travel east to
Oh, I'm sorry, west to east.
-And odd streets mostly travel west to east.
So like 28th Street goes west to east.
-Well, I actually didn't even know that.
-I mean I didn't realize 5 years I had no idea.
-I mean I can imagine yes.
That makes sense.
-It's tough like it really is tough because north, you know, the cardinal directions in Manhattan, a lot of the infrastructure rely on those things.
-Especially when you're getting out of a subway and it's like the northwest exit is this way and you're like why the
hell is that helpful.
-I'm just now understanding what those mean, you know.
It's super tough, but if you can visualize Manhattan is just a big grid and then when you're embedded inside, you might be able to have an advantage over the average tourist.
-Oh, pronunciation of some streets.
Houston, not Houston.
-Greenwich, not Greenwich.
-What else is there?
-Forget about it.
You gotta say that.
-Draw and Mario apparently.
-There you go.
There's your crash course in Manhattan tourism.
Enjoy yourself all right when you're out here and don't, you know, don't be afraid.
It's actually a very safe, not clean but a very safe city.
-So enjoy it.
We're out of here, guys, 866-404-CNET, that's the number.
Thanks everyone who called up.
We're back here on Monday, only shows Monday and Tuesday next week, because
starting Wednesday we're flying out to San Diego for Comic-Con 2013.
Again, we're having a massive meet-up, Saturday, July 20th from 4 to 6 pm at Lou & Mickey's.
Make sure you're there in the Gaslamp District of San Diego.
You can meet us, get a t-shirt and enter the contest for a second time.
That's the only way you're gonna get a double chance.
You can increase your chances to win the $404.
-That's all we got.
-Make sure you follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Google+, all that junk and we'll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
I am Jeff Bakalar.
-I'm Justin Yu.
-I'm Ariel NuÃ±ez.
-This has been the 404 Show, high tech, low brow.
We'll see you Monday.
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