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You're fired!

Five-star hotel? Not. Impressed.

"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t!"

Pack up your hard drives and go home

Team FDA

"This is f***ed up."

"Your commercials suck."

No bonus for you!

Taking no stock

"...there's no sex in them anymore."


Mirror revenge

Blowing smoke

Grocery grumbles

Well, that was awkward

"Your time is limited"

The last word

Steve Jobs was many things, including a genius, a renegade...and occasionally, a terrifying human being.

When Steve Jobs fired someone, he went big.  When he gave the MobileMe boss the ax, he did it on the spot during a speech in Apple's auditorium full of employees.

"Can anyone tell me what MobileMe is supposed to do?" he asked. When the team answered, Jobs replied, "Then why the f*** doesn't it do that?"

Caption by / Photo by Ralph Morse/Getty Images

When Apple's Chief Design Officer, Jonathan Ive, booked Jobs a room in one of London's boutique, five-star hotels, Jobs wasn't having it.

"I hate my room. It's a piece of sh*t, let's go," he reportedly said.

Caption by / Photo by Pawel Libera/Getty Images

When the Xerox Star computer failed in the early 1980s, Jobs decided to recruit one of its hardware designers, Bob Belleville.

"Everything you've ever done in your life is sh*t," Jobs said, "so why don't you come work for me?" Despite the low blow, Bob joined Jobs.

Caption by / Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Jobs apparently let a group of Pixar employees go without any severance pay. Early Pixar employee Pamela Kerwin pleaded that employees at least be given two weeks' notice. "OK," he said, "but the notice is retroactive from two weeks ago." BURN.

Caption by / Photo by Michael L. Abramson/Getty Images

When Jobs was unsatisfied with how partner VLSI Technology was performing, he stormed into a meeting yelling that the team were "f***ing dickless a**holes," according to biographer Walter Isaacson.

After hearing about the incident, VLSI designed jackets with "Team FDA" on them.

Caption by / Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Jobs didn't just insult his employees. He also criticized his friends. Colleague and friend Lee Chow got to witness Jobs' Hyde side just before the reveal of the "Bondi Blue" iMac.

"You guys don't know what you're doing. I'm going to get someone else to do the ads because this is f***ed up," Jobs reportedly said.

Caption by / Photo by Ted Thai/Getty Images

Jobs wasn't too keen on the iPad's original ad campaign. Disapproving of the first round of promo videos, he simply told the head of the campaign, "Your commercials suck... The iPad is revolutionizing the world, and we need something big. You've given me small sh*t."

Caption by / Photo by Taylor Weidman/Getty Images

Possibly one of the more known facts about Jobs is that he didn't do right by Atari partner and friend Steve Wozniak. Jobs denied Wozniak his share of a large bonus after they managed to finish the scaled-down version of a game together. Who needs friends when you've got Steve Jobs?

Caption by / Photo by Tom Munnecke/Getty Images

Jobs never gave Daniel Kottke, one of Apple's first employees, stock options. Apple's vice president at the time, Rod Holt, said that he would match whatever Jobs was willing to offer Kottke.

"OK. I will give him zero," Steve replied.

Caption by / Photo by John G. Mabanglo/Getty Images

When Jobs was fired from his own company (temporarily), he criticized key Apple executives, including Gil Amelio, in 1997 by saying, "The products suck. There's no sex in them anymore."

Amelio eventually resigned and Steve took the wheel once again.

Caption by / Photo by David Paul Morris/Getty Images

While being interviewed for Walter Isaacson's biography, Jobs said, "I don’t have any skeletons in my closet that can’t be allowed out," and that anyone who didn't like him was probably a "bozo."

Caption by / Photo by Ted Thai/Getty Images

An Apple employee wrote an email to Steve Jobs while he was at Pixar, imploring him, "Please, don't come back to Apple, you'll ruin it."

Steve's epic response? "You may be right. But if I succeed, remember to look in the mirror and call yourself an a**hole for me."

Caption by / Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images

During a dinner in New York in the 1980s, Jobs supposedly showed his displeasure with a friend who was smoking at the table. Without even looking at the cigarette or breaking from conversation, Jobs reached across the table, picked up the burning cigarette from an ashtray, and dropped it in the smoker's half-full water glass.

Caption by / Photo by David Paul Morris/Getty Images

Jobs was infamous for his allegedly rude behavior at the local Palo Alto Whole Foods. According to an eyewitness, he once held up a checkout line for several minutes arguing with the cashier over a quarter.

Caption by / Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

During a first job interview, Steve asked the candidate if he was a virgin, and how many times he'd taken LSD.

When the guy tried to deflect with a technical question, Jobs broke out with, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."

Caption by / Photo by Tom Munnecke/Getty Images

There are the occasional brilliant moments where Jobs encapsulated something truly beautiful and profound.

"Your time is limited," he once said. "Don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of another's opinion drown your inner voice.

"And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

Caption by / Photo by Ted Thai/Getty Images

When all is said and done, Jobs' life was an inspiring story.

He created his "ding in the universe," as he once said. There are a barrage of additional quotes from Steve, but we'll leave you with this one:

"Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Caption by / Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
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