Most pets require a fair amount of maintenance. You need to buy food, take them to vet visits and pet them. Now, imagine having the most impressive pet on the block, a 40-foot-long behemoth you don't have to groom or buy chow for. That's the life-size Tyrannosaurus skeleton available from (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer.
The replica fossil skeleton isn't fuzzy. It won't bark when the post office drops off some mail. You probably don't even have a room in your house big enough to hold it. That doesn't matter. What really matters here is that you'll have a polyurethane resin cast creation modeled on a real T. rex skeleton named Stan that was found in South Dakota back in 1992.
The skeleton is held up using a hidden steel structure. It's so faithful to the original that you can see where Stan had suffered a broken neck, broken ribs and puncture wounds all those many millions of years ago when he was roaming the planet as the king of the dinosaurs. When you drop $100,000 (about £62,580 or AU$114,790) to buy a Stan of your very own, it comes with an assembly crew. That crew will set the dino up in a position of your choosing so he can be standing tall and proud or reaching out for food on the ground.
I'll bet you didn't even know you wanted this thing. But now there's a Tyrannosaurus rex-sized hole in your life and this beast wants to fill it with love and lots and lots of fake bones. It's not as compact as a Chihuahua. Indeed, Stan weighs 1,500 pounds. Still, you are pretty much guaranteed to be on the only person on your block (and probably your whole city) with a life-size T. rex fossil replica.
You may have to end up using Stan as a truly spectacular lawn ornament which you can then decorate for various holidays. Put a zombie body in its jaws for Halloween or some giant bunny ears on the skull for Easter. It's bound to be the most polite and least-labor-intensive pet you've ever had, way better than that obnoxious Furby you used to live with.
It's understandable if the high price tag puts you off the idea of adopting a T. rex. If you're a hopeless cheapskate, you can still purchase just a life-size T. rex skull for a mere $9,500 (about £5,945 or AU$10,920). Rawr!