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Christmas Gift Guide
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The Geek in Review: 11/7 - 11/11

The Geek in Review: 11/7 - 11/11

  • What's better than a Pez dispenser? An empty Pez dispenser, because Pez tastes like the bastard child of chalk and cotton candy. What's better than an empty Pez dispenser? A Pez dispenser that plays MP3s instead of dispensing crappy-tasting Pez. As such, hip-hop-hooray for the $99, 512MB Pez MP3 Player. It plays MP3s, doesn't mess with no Pez, and looks disturbingly like a cartoon version of Crispin Glover. If that's not weird enough for you, please consult James Kim's roundup of screwed-up-looking MP3 players.

  • I feel bad for people who have billions of dollars. It must be hard for them to make a holiday wish list, because they probably already have a nice digital camera and an Ivan Lendl mouse pad. So with them in mind, we put together a list of the most ridiculous and gratuitously expensive junk we could find. Have fun with your new AquaCar, Sterling Matthews III, Esq. It will come in handy when you're shuttling back and forth between your own personal islands. As for the rest of us poor jerks, the plain-old CNET Holiday Gift Guide will have to suffice.

  • Spaghetti, baseball, sweater vests...you name it; if it's cool, it came from Asia! If you want to know what's supercool, it's a good idea to check out what's considered cool in Asia. That's because the entire continent is cool by default, so stuff that's considered cool there is supercool in other, less-cool areas. Well, CNET apparently wants you to get a supercool cell phone, because we've rounded up the hottest handsets on the streets of Asia. And by streets, we mean time-machine jetways, because Asia is too cool for normal roads.

  • Here is a good CD to buy: Goin' Off by Biz Markie. Here is a good CD not to buy: anything made by Sony. That's because while you are bumping jams on your computer, that Sony CD you're listening to is installing a root kit on it. In turn, that root kit can mess up your PC something proper. Sony says it's all in the name of digital rights management (DRM), but Molly Wood ain't even trying to hear that noise. And you shouldn't either.

  • If you don't want anyone stealing your celly, you might want to pick up one of these really ugly phones. They have faceplates only a mother could love. Plus, holding one up to your face will make you look more attractive by comparison. E.T., phone homely. Reach out and touch someone with the ugly stick. Dial U fo...(Note: I was yanked offstage by the neck with a cane before completing this last terrible cell-phone joke.)