EmWave has released this funky little thing called the Personal Stress Reliever, and I just can't figure it out. Did I not have enough coffee today? Is my mind too intensely occupied with wondering whether or not Jack is going to kill Ben on "Lost," or how my beloved Stephen Colbert will ever get back at those mean and nasty Decemberists? Or am I just stupid? (Please don't answer that.) I realize that it's supposed to detect an "incoherent" heart rhythm, and then do something miraculous to your emotional state, but I can't seem to figure out anything more about this $199 device. There's an included CD called the "Coherence Coach," and a breathing pacer that you're supposed to combine with "generating positive emotions."
Generating positive emotions? This is starting to sound like Scientology.
Maybe there's an army of gnomes inside that brews your chill-out beverage of choice and feeds it to you? Hey, your guess is as good as mine.