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Phones

OJ Simpson getting latest iPhone, says lawyer

Commentary: The former sports star is being released from jail, and his lawyer says he now needs simple pleasures. Like one of Apple's phones.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


O.J. Simpson Granted Parole At Hearing

Is he practicing for his iPhone already?

Pool / Getty Images

If I asked you to name the very simple pleasures of life, what would you suggest?

Love? Fresh air? The smell of the ocean?

How about the iPhone?

I've come over all philosophical because of some words offered by Malcolm LaVergne, lawyer for OJ Simpson, to ABC's "Good Morning America" on Friday.

The infamous former football star and TV personality is due to be released from a Las Vegas jail as early as next week. He was incarcerated for nine years after being found guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping.

LaVergne, though, insists that Simpson now wants to partake of "the very simple pleasures" of life. These apparently include eating seafood and steak. As well as getting "the latest iPhone."

LaVergne didn't immediately respond to a request for comment as to whether OJ will plump for an iPhone 8 or 8 Plus, or whether he's waiting for the iPhone X

He could choose one of Apple's cheaper models that are still on sale. An 128 GB iPhone 7 can be had for a mere $499.99. Yes, it's a refurb, but is OJ rolling in money? Some say his net worth is between $250,000 and $3 million. He is also said to owe tens of millions of dollars after being found civilly liable for the deaths of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman.

How odd, though, that Apple's creation would be classified among life's simplest pleasures. 

Have we really come to the point where a phone is as essential as, well, more natural joys? If you'd just spent nine years in jail, would this be one of the first things you'd craved? After all, the iPhone was barely a thing when Simpson started his sentence. 

Apple didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

Perhaps, though, Apple's marketing is so powerful that it slithers into jails, just as it invades our minds. When it comes to the Apple ecosystem, we can never lock ourselves away from it. 

And we crave it like a fine, juicy steak. Or a little bit of lobster, of course.

Technically Incorrect: Bringing you a fresh and irreverent take on tech.

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