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Culture

Man to 911: Hey, my iPhone won't work

An Illinois man is arrested after reportedly calling 911 five times to complain of a malfunctioning iPhone. Did he really think the cops are smarter than Genius Bar employees?

We all react differently in times of distress.

But when it comes to extreme distress, sometimes we lose ourselves entirely. Extreme distress covers many eventualities, but few are worse than when one's iPhone malfunctions.

Which is, perhaps, why an Illinois gentleman allegedly called 911 five times to beg the authorities for help.

The way the Smoking Gun conveys it, Michael Alan Skopec, 48, was the unhappy gentleman in question.

When the lights go out on your iPhone, you might see red. CC Yutaka Tsutano/Flickr

The Kendall County Sheriff's report didn't offer too much detail. However, a sheriff's spokesman told the Smoking Gun that Skopec had allegedly "refused to comply with orders from deputies."

Had they told him not to watch so many questionable movies because that sucks up the iPhone's battery life? Had they told him to keep his hands away from the antenna, as that might help reception?

It is unclear. What seems probable is that Skopec's was not an iPhone 4S. For he would have surely attempted to get in touch with Siri and begged her for help. There again, perhaps Siri was malfunctioning too and then, what to do, call 911.

In addition, if his iPhone was on the blink, how did he call 911? Surely few iPhone owners still possess a landline. It's just so bad for your image.

Skopec was charged with obstructing or resisting a peace officer and police reportedly offered that he seemed a little the worse for alcoholic wear.

But perhaps this was not the case. Perhaps the forces of law underestimate the deep emotional effect of placing one's finger on one's delicate iPhone screen and discovering that the machine is indisposed.

It can really send some to a place they have never been.