Here are some of the things you can discover when you Google yourself (at least in my experience).
You can learn that you're the spawn of Satan, a raving fascist, a stinking liberal, a knee-jerk libertarian, an Apple fanboy, a Google fanboy, a Samsung fanboy, and extremely unlucky with heartless members of your target sex. (I made that last one up.)
Please, though, imagine the startled feelings of Christopher Viatafa of San Leandro, Calif., who Googled himself and found that he was on the "Most Wanted" list of the Northern California Regional Intelligence Center (run by various law enforcement agencies).
"Who, me?" he may have thought. Or not.
As the San Francisco Chronicle reports, Viatafa's presence was requested in connection with a gunplay incident at a party in August.
Could it be that he had no recollection of such gunplay? Or even of such a party?
Possibly. However, his memory may have been jolted into life: Once he became aware that he was near the top of the police's chart, he paid them a visit. Police told the Chronicle that it was the Google search that prompted his appearance.
He is presently listed as having been "captured." Though you can hardly call someone wandering into your police station after Googling himself a "capture."
No one was hurt in the alleged gunplay episode, but Viatafa now faces charges of discharging a firearm toward an inhabited dwelling.
Why did he subject himself to a Google search? Who knows? But perhaps -- if the charges are justified -- he was consumed by conscience.
As for me, I am now off to the fascist, liberal, and libertarian headquarters to collect my membership cards.