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iPhone 6 vs. Galaxy S5: Appearance-conscious vs. tech-conscious?

An amusing Onion comparison of Apple's large phone with Samsung's is funny because it might just have a ring of truth.

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Does your choice of phone say something about you? Or are you just caught in one ecosystem or another? (From left: iPhone 6, HTC One M8 for Windows, Galaxy S5, iPhone 6 Plus.) CNET

When it comes to cell phone brands, the armies of the reasonable tend to be counted in handfuls.

At least that's how it seems when one reads the impassioned, often intemperate commentary when Apple is compared to Samsung. Or vice versa.

How lovely, then, that now that Apple's phones have undergone extension surgery, new comparisons can be drawn.

I am grateful to The Onion for creating an intellectual analysis comparing Apple's new iPhone 6 with Samsung's Galaxy S5.

For a long time, the S5 was the plastic standard in sizable mobiles. But why do people choose it, rather than anything from Apple?

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The Onion

The Onion offers that the design differences aren't all that great. The iPhone 6 is a "sleek, sophisticated rounded rectangle." While the S5 is a "bulky, hideous rounded rectangle."

Ah, so perhaps the latest big thing might be somewhat prettier than the next big thing which was, in fact, the last big thing.

The signature features of each phone are mordantly emotive. iPhone 6: "Class resentment experienced when you see a f***ing 3-year-old use one." The S5: "Not an iPhone."

The core of this joyous comparison chart, though, lies in the section entitled "Type Of Person It Will Impress."

For the iPhone 6: "Appearance-conscious a**hole." Could anyone truly argue? And what about the S5: "Technology-conscious pr**k."

I suspect there might be one or two who will react aggressively to these characterizations. There might be some though, who, if committed to deep reflection, will see themselves in at least a few of these descriptions.

Go on, be honest.